How long should you wait?

[tiffanysb]

So i'v been having problems asking out girls, and i feel like i always wait too long.
Theres this girl i have been talking to since mid June, ever since then we texted eachother everyday and hung out at least once a week.
Ever since she started school on Monday of last week she hasnt texted me. I texted her 2-3 times in this period but the conversation ended early with me sending the last text and her never replying back.
Did i wait too long and did she get a message that i didnt like her?
I was thinking about asking her to hangout on friday, and then telling her how i feel then because i do like her.
Is this a good idea? Or should i just get over it?
I'v been feeling lonely for a while now, and shes a great girl. I think theres a 50/50 chance she might feel the same way about me. I'm sure if we did get in a relationship we would be great together.
Give me your honest opinions, thanks.

[Progressus]

So i'v been having problems asking out girls, and i feel like i always wait too long.
Theres this girl i have been talking to since mid June, ever since then we texted eachother everyday and hung out at least once a week.
Ever since she started school on Monday of last week she hasnt texted me. I texted her 2-3 times in this period but the conversation ended early with me sending the last text and her never replying back.
Did i wait too long and did she get a message that i didnt like her?
I was thinking about asking her to hangout on friday, and then telling her how i feel then because i do like her.
Is this a good idea? Or should i just get over it?
I'v been feeling lonely for a while now, and shes a great girl. I think theres a 50/50 chance she might feel the same way about me. I'm sure if we did get in a relationship we would be great together.
Give me your honest opinions, thanks.

You asked for honest opinions... so here it goes.

I've given almost the same advice to other people in similar situations.

1. Texting everyday? WAY TOO MUCH! First off: If you can't talk to her personally, do it over the phone. First, it's much less likely that things get interpreted the wrong way. Second, you have MUCH MORE power to put her into a positive emotional state. Don't you know your voice can be a very powerful instrument?

2. You seem a bit clingy and insecure. No offense. But think about it for a second: If there were other girls you'd like, if there were other girls as options for you... do you think you'd bother that much about her not responding to your text messages? That's just a hint to put you in the right direction: Talk to other girls, meet them, have a good time with them. That doesn't mean you have to forget about this one girl, but at least you don't kill yourself over unanswered text messages. Get the idea?

3. You don't necessarily need to get over it right away. But NEVER EVER tell a woman how you feel about her at that early stage (I presume you didn't have sex with her), because that can make you look pretty unattractive in her eyes. That's a general advice I've given a lot of people (not only on this site, but in real life as well). It may sound hard... because you miss her... you want to talk to her... but sometimes less is more. She might miss you... she might realize what you mean to her if you're not there. But this is certainly NOT going to happen if you're texting her every other hour. I'm exaggerating... but you get the point, I guess.

To cut a long story short: Try to be happy WITHOUT her. I know this is hard... but I'm afraid the more effort you put in this particular situation, the more she'll try to withdraw from you. Her not answering your recent texts is a pretty obvious sign. Take it easy, try not to push her, and then you'll find out where it's going. Asking her out is generally a good idea... but do it OVER THE PHONE. This way you can tell right away what she responds like.

Hope that helped. Good luck!

[kitkitkitty]

if she's started school she won't have time to txt all the time, however much she wants to. she could get her phone taken off her and she's there to learn anyway.
if you've been txting since mid-june then slow down on the every day thing. however much you want to txt her remember you're not exclusive so give her room to breathe. after all, she can see you're interested. next time you meet up, maybe ask her over to yours [or hers if she feels more comfortable], watch a film, cuddle up and see if the moment's right to kiss her but do make an effort.

[tiffanysb]

You asked for honest opinions... so here it goes.

I've given almost the same advice to other people in similar situations.

1. Texting everyday? WAY TOO MUCH! First off: If you can't talk to her personally, do it over the phone. First, it's much less likely that things get interpreted the wrong way. Second, you have MUCH MORE power to put her into a positive emotional state. Don't you know your voice can be a very powerful instrument?

2. You seem a bit clingy and insecure. No offense. But think about it for a second: If there were other girls you'd like, if there were other girls as options for you... do you think you'd bother that much about her not responding to your text messages? That's just a hint to put you in the right direction: Talk to other girls, meet them, have a good time with them. That doesn't mean you have to forget about this one girl, but at least you don't kill yourself over unanswered text messages. Get the idea?

3. You don't necessarily need to get over it right away. But NEVER EVER tell a woman how you feel about her at that early stage (I presume you didn't have sex with her), because that can make you look pretty unattractive in her eyes. That's a general advice I've given a lot of people (not only on this site, but in real life as well). It may sound hard... because you miss her... you want to talk to her... but sometimes less is more. She might miss you... she might realize what you mean to her if you're not there. But this is certainly NOT going to happen if you're texting her every other hour. I'm exaggerating... but you get the point, I guess.

To cut a long story short: Try to be happy WITHOUT her. I know this is hard... but I'm afraid the more effort you put in this particular situation, the more she'll try to withdraw from you. Her not answering your recent texts is a pretty obvious sign. Take it easy, try not to push her, and then you'll find out where it's going. Asking her out is generally a good idea... but do it OVER THE PHONE. This way you can tell right away what she responds like.

Hope that helped. Good luck!

Thanks for your reply and opinion, i appreciate it.
1. In the whole two month period we talked, there was two times where we didnt text eachother for a whole week.
Also i wasnt the person texting her everyday, honestly she texted me first more than i texted her, i would say it was like 60/40 her doing more.
2. I know i shouldn't be saying this, but i feel like theres no one else i would want to be with other than her. I dont even like her THAT much, but i feel like we connected after going to this concert together. Everytime i listen to this certain band i just think of her and theres just this feeling i'v never had before and its just really hard to explain. Last time we hung out was on her birthday on the 22nd. We were with two other people but they left leaving the two of us alone at night. She even told me she used to have a crush on me a couple years ago, and i was her biggest ever. We joked around about it but thats about it. I gave her a cute card and she said she loved it. I feel like i did everything right that day but that was the last day i saw her, and the last day she texted me.
3. How long should you usually wait? Is 2 months too short? Just so we can clarify, im only 17 years old, and shes 16. So we dont have as much freedom as we would like. So do you think i should call her and ask her to hangout sometime soon or just wait for her to contact me? Like i said we've gone a week without texting eachother on two different occasions over the summer. I think i do give her space, it was both our choices to text eachother as much as we did.

[tiffanysb]

if she's started school she won't have time to txt all the time, however much she wants to. she could get her phone taken off her and she's there to learn anyway.
if you've been txting since mid-june then slow down on the every day thing. however much you want to txt her remember you're not exclusive so give her room to breathe. after all, she can see you're interested. next time you meet up, maybe ask her over to yours [or hers if she feels more comfortable], watch a film, cuddle up and see if the moment's right to kiss her but do make an effort.

Thanks for your reply.
Yea, i thought about school being the problem. I mean i havent started yet but i will be next week, but shes been in school for a week and a half now.
When i texted her last week she said she was going to try really hard to get straight A's and not let anything get in her way.
I was just thinking she was too busy with her school work, but theres no way we can make anything work if shes just doing school work all the time.

[kitkitkitty]

Thanks for your reply.
Yea, i thought about school being the problem. I mean i havent started yet but i will be next week, but shes been in school for a week and a half now.
When i texted her last week she said she was going to try really hard to get straight A's and not let anything get in her way.
I was just thinking she was too busy with her school work, but theres no way we can make anything work if shes just doing school work all the time.

remember it always takes a while to get back into the routine and i found i got the most out of school in the 1st few weeks. you should be happy that she wants to do well! i doubt she'll be studying the whole time to be fair. give her some time to settle in again.

[SapphireBerry]

Do what you feel, but just don't chase her so much let her come to you aswell! I always say this.
And build up the damn courage to ask her out! We all get rejected so what? It's not the end of the world... Maybe you did leave it too long
and she's moved on or something, you really need to open up a bit more then that way you'll be opened up to new oppurtunities. Speak your
mind I say, don't hide away cause you'll always be a shadow of yourself, I'm sure she'll like you, you seem nice but just give her a chance to
open up to you as well and go to you, give her space too, I like to speak my mind most of the time whether I get rejected or not but if you
feel it's better then just stay friends

Sapphire x

[WaiKru]

You might have slipped into the friend zone there bud. Or the just plain got bored with you zone. Leave her alone for a while then begin talking again, except this time, be flirty. If you're trying to pick up chicks, I've always found that waiting a while to be flirty and officially "ask them out" on a date or something, only backfires.

[tiffanysb]

So i took everyone's advice and didnt text her yesterday, but she ended up texting me for the first time in a week and a half. We talked a bit but she fell asleep because she had school.
Where should i take this from now? Should i wait another couple days to see if she will text me again or should i text her back in a couple days?

[girl68]

If you can't express interest in 3 months I think yeah you waited about 2.5 months too long.

[lahnnabell]

2. I know i shouldn't be saying this, but i feel like theres no one else i would want to be with other than her. I dont even like her THAT much, but i feel like we connected after going to this concert together. Everytime i listen to this certain band i just think of her and theres just this feeling i'v never had before and its just really hard to explain. Last time we hung out was on her birthday on the 22nd. We were with two other people but they left leaving the two of us alone at night. She even told me she used to have a crush on me a couple years ago, and i was her biggest ever. We joked around about it but thats about it. I gave her a cute card and she said she loved it. I feel like i did everything right that day but that was the last day i saw her, and the last day she texted me.

This is because you haven't actually tried to meet or flirt with any other girls. Give yourself a chance to really get out there. Any guy on here will tell you the same thing.

[lahnnabell]

I think you should begin to invest your time elsewhere. You didn't give this girl the impression that you wanted to date her, so she may have already written you off as a "guy friend". This happens when a guy takes too long to ask a girl out. If a romantic interest is what you have, then you need to pursue it. Don't hang around, pretending to be her friend, hoping that it will magically blossom into a relationship.

Guys that get the girl are the ones that pursue the girl. Yes, she should reciprocate, but only when you give her something real to work with. This whole casual texting business isn't a clear indication that you like her, so she sees no real reason to reciprocate. In fact, she may be bored. You have to step up your game and ask her out. Plain and simple.

So, ask her out. Leave the ball in her court, don't hound her about it. Then let her come to you. If she's interested, she'll reciprocate. If you don't hear from her, you can cut your losses and move on.

[doppelgaenger]

The best time to ask a girl out is immediately. I don't mean walk up to a girl and ask her out, but casually, in conversation. This way, you don't waste any of your time with the idle bullshit of waiting, playing hard to get, pretending like some sort of connection exists outside of attraction/lust, etc.

[lahnnabell]

The best time to ask a girl out is immediately. I don't mean walk up to a girl and ask her out, but casually, in conversation. This way, you don't waste any of your time with the idle bullshit of waiting, playing hard to get, pretending like some sort of connection exists outside of attraction/lust, etc.

Romantic comedies and dramas help to delude people into thinking that all that BS is how it's all supposed to happen.

[doppelgaenger]

Romantic comedies and dramas help to delude people into thinking that all that BS is how it's all supposed to happen.

Sometimes it works. I used to think that if you get to know a girl and be her friend and everything and be a 'nice guy' you'll have more of a chance. It made more sense to me that way. I wouldn't want to go out with someone I don't know.
Now I realize that you just can't care whether or not you have a chance - if you're attracted to a girl, you just have to throw all your money in the pot and take the risk. The way women feel attraction and react to men approaching them is very counter-intuitive. You ladies have a different agenda than we do