Send ex a letter? Yes or no?

[Nybeauty02]

Hi. Just some background on me. Was dating a great guy for 6 weeks. We went together like PB&J, except that we came from 2 different worlds. I have 2 college degrees, I work, I come from a wealthy household. My ex grew up broke, currently has no job and not alot of money. Nonetheless, the relationship was a smooth ride, and we really fell for eachother. It was a normal, everyday, loving relationship.

However, eventually, the fantasy gave way to reality. His car broke down for good, and us living 45 minutes away from eachother, I ended it. I know that sounds bad, but I immediately took it back and said we could make it work but it was too late - I had confirmed his worst fears that he can't "measure up". He then said it was for the best, but he didn't want it to be final (he repeatedly said this). Me, being heartbroken and all emotional, said I did want it to be final. He said if I ever changed my mind, to call him.

Well I did and he wouldn't take my calls. I obviously stopped calling to give him space.

I don't think he is angry with me, maybe hurt. But I know that he was "waiting" for me at some point to break up with him because of our different lifestyles. Most people say it was doomed from the start, and maybe they are right. I know I had a razor sharp tongue the night we broke up, but I didn't mean any of it.

I thought about writing him a letter. In fact, I wrote it already. It's short, cool, and calm and I apologize for things I said and say I hope we can be friends. I wouldn't send it anytime soon - maybe in another week or 2.

The relationship was great up until we broke up - we never even so much had an argument or gave eachother an attitude. I just think it was too good not to at least try.

And for those of you that are ready to say that I'm a bitch and I don't deserve him, let me just say, he would've ran like this at some point anyway. I know what I did triggered him, but this is obviously the way he is. I just really really miss him. I don't know if his silence is for forever, or just for now.

Advice please. Thanks.

[girl68]

Send ex a letter?

No. Leave him alone letters and fb comments included.

[lahnnabell]

How do you expect him pull his weight in this relationship exactly? He has almost no money, and no job (other than the small-time drug dealing you mentioned in your other post), and an on-the-fritz car. What about him is really so attractive?

It would drive me nuts to have someone so lifeless in my life. Sounds like all he had time for was doting on you. Did he ever put any effort toward trying to improve his own situation?

[kitkitkitty]

whoever thought up 'ex letters' was pretty damn silly.

[Nybeauty02]

No he did nothing to improve his situation in 6 weeks. He applied to a few jobs but that's it.

And he just treated me really well and we got along incredibly well.

[lahnnabell]

While it's nice that he seems to be a good person, his lack of drive will probably begin to frustrate you before long. You may not have issues with it now, but if he stays as he is, you will. You can't expect that being his girlfriend will make him want to better himself. Sometimes that works, a lot of the time it doesn't. You can't fix him.

Good relationships aren't just the ones where both partners are good to one another. The strongest relationships also inspire both parties to challenge one another and they grow together through hardships and frustration. They make the decision to commit and work through it all. I think you should just work on moving on. Accept your loss gracefully and use this as a learning experience.

[WaiKru]

Letter's worked wonders for me. But it was always on the same person so it could be just specific to her. I'm not sure how it applies to the general public.

[Nybeauty02]

I should have been more specific. The letter is for me. I am blaming myself alot for "ruining" this. The letter is my closure and my apology for what I did wrong.

Lahnna, thanks so much. I am just blaming myself so much. If I hadn't done this or that, it would be fine but at the same time, I don't really think it was gonna work anyway.

[lahnnabell]

I should have been more specific. The letter is for me. I am blaming myself alot for "ruining" this. The letter is my closure and my apology for what I did wrong.

Lahnna, thanks so much. I am just blaming myself so much. If I hadn't done this or that, it would be fine but at the same time, I don't really think it was gonna work anyway.

No problem, lady. Just know that a man worth your time is one that has his act together. This guy doesn't even come close. You deserve to be with a person as functional and driven as yourself. Nothing wrong with having high standards. It doesn't mean you're high maintenance as they would mean you need to be taken care of. You don't need that. And it'll feel even better when you find a man that can take care of his shit, and dote on you on his off time.

You've accomplished a lot, so don't sell yourself short. It's easy to blame yourself in situations like this. No one likes realizing the truth about themselves, but it gets easier over time. Instead of apologizing for the way you are, take these experiences and learn from them. This will certainly help you grow as a person, and you'll be even better for the next guy that comes along.