Confused by girlfriends sudden obsession with "Clubbing"

[Sonrisa]

i love clubbing...

[tacticalcraptic]

"She wants to run around and play with other boys"

I dunno if she wants to play with other boys, she does not accept dates or dances or touching from other guys, she just likes to be watched by them. But I think you are right. I need to put my foot down but I don't want to tell her what to do.

[Sonrisa]

why though? if she doesn't do anything morally wrong?

[VincenzoG91]

why though? if she doesn't do anything morally wrong?

That's a low standard. Why is she in a relationship if she doesn't care about her boyfriend's feelings?

[Sonrisa]

him being a pussy doesn't give the right to ruin her life.

[VincenzoG91]

Oh dear, her entire life will be ruined if she treats her boyfriend like he is still her boyfriend. That's horrible, I don't know what I was thinking.

[Sonrisa]

Vince, have you ever gone clubbing?

[Sonrisa]

and for Christ's sake she freaking 21!!!! when is she supposed to embrace her wild side? when she is 60? give her a chance to be a kid and enjoy her life.

[lahnnabell]

A lot of factors come into play here. She likes to go clubbing, dancing, and there is nothing wrong with that. How often does she go? What kinds of clubs is she going to? Is it a club/bar? Are these places classy, or trash city? And I'm a big advocate of going out to such places with more than one extra friend.

[VincenzoG91]

Vince, have you ever gone clubbing?

Sure, it's great fun. I like dancing. But I don't go there to hit on women if I'm in a relationship. It would be understandable if his girlfriend wanted to go clubbing just for the dancing or even the music. But she has admitted that she wants attention from other guys. And she doesn't want her boyfriend to go with her, and she even went alone, without any of her friends. That's all shady-looking behavior for a supposed girlfriend.

[VincenzoG91]

and for Christ's sake she freaking 21!!!! when is she supposed to embrace her wild side? when she is 60? give her a chance to be a kid and enjoy her life.

I agree. She should have fun and enjoy being single. She shouldn't settle down with a serious boyfriend right now, because she isn't ready for that.

[tacticalcraptic]

"I agree. She should have fun and enjoy being single. She shouldn't settle down with a serious boyfriend right now, because she isn't ready for that."

If this is the case, what exactly am I supposed to do then? Say "Well, I think we have been good for each other and we love each other but you are 4 years younger than me, you need to be single and have fun in a way that is not compatible with a relationship, so maybe we can try again in a few years, catch you later"

[Sonrisa]

"I agree. She should have fun and enjoy being single. She shouldn't settle down with a serious boyfriend right now, because she isn't ready for that."

If this is the case, what exactly am I supposed to do then? Say "Well, I think we have been good for each other and we love each other but you are 4 years younger than me, you need to be single and have fun in a way that is not compatible with a relationship, so maybe we can try again in a few years, catch you later"

isn't there anything that you like about her? at all? are you ready to kick her to the curb just like that?

btw all of my partners were MUCH older than me 5-11 years older, and all of them put up with my outgoing personality.

[VincenzoG91]

"I agree. She should have fun and enjoy being single. She shouldn't settle down with a serious boyfriend right now, because she isn't ready for that."

If this is the case, what exactly am I supposed to do then? Say "Well, I think we have been good for each other and we love each other but you are 4 years younger than me, you need to be single and have fun in a way that is not compatible with a relationship, so maybe we can try again in a few years, catch you later"

It depends on your style.

I'm a confrontational guy. I like to get an issue out in the open as soon as possible, to have an open and honest conversation about it. And I would probably force this issue with an ultimatum that would kill the relationship but leave my dignity intact.

But there are other ways you can handle this. You can just stifle your reactions for now, and wait to see what happens. Or you could take the high road and tell her that you are setting her free, and hope that she comes back to you. Or, since she is unwilling to talk to you about this issue, just go stone cold No Contact and see if that snaps her back to reality. It probably won't.

But the bottom line is that she is not treating your relationship with respect right now, so the relationship is probably headed for a breakup unless she changes course.

[Sonrisa]

It depends on your style.

I'm a confrontational guy. I like to get an issue out in the open as soon as possible, to have an open and honest conversation about it. And I would probably force this issue with an ultimatum that would kill the relationship but leave my dignity intact.

But there are other ways you can handle this. You can just stifle your reactions for now, and wait to see what happens. Or you could take the high road and tell her that you are setting her free, and hope that she comes back to you. Or, since she is unwilling to talk to you about this issue, just go stone cold No Contact and see if that snaps her back to reality. It probably won't.

But the bottom line is that she is not treating your relationship with respect right now, so the relationship is probably headed for a breakup unless she changes course.

are you in a relationship?