How many times should I hang out with this girl before I invite her to my house to

[TSA09]

hang out? We've only went out one time and that was a month ago. She's been busy and going through a lot so we haven't done anything since then. I've asked her to do something this weekend but she's doing other things today, tomorrow, and Sunday. I'm waiting for her to reply back to a message I sent her telling her we should make plans for next Friday night. So... how many times should we go out before I invite her to hang out at my house? Keep in mind that we barely know each other.

[kitkitkitty]

are you sure she's not just 'busy'? i'd say work that out before wondering when you should invite her over.

[TSA09]

What do you mean?

[kitkitkitty]

well if you're interested in someone, a month is a long time to not meet up again. i don't know her circumstances i guess but it's a bit odd to me.

[Gribble]

Yeah. I don't think she's interested. If she really was busy this whole weekend but she wanted to see you, she'd make sure you knew it. She'd be asking forgiveness and promising up and down she wasn't blowing you off and she'd almost certainly suggest doing something next week herself.

I get the impression she's just not that into you. Don't give up, but don't let your hopes get too high, either. You sound young. Young chicks are dumb as bricks, so you never know. Maybe she really is interested after all but she's too green to express it.

[TSA09]

We've agreed to go to the mall tomorrow. She just got a job so it's going to tough to hang out whenever. I really don't know; she seems like she's not interested, but we still hang out. I just gotta see what happens tomorrow. btw, she told me she has a boyfriend now but eh. That doesn't mean we can't be friends.

[kitkitkitty]

i can see this situation getting complicated in the long-run. if, in the beginning, you had even a SLIGHT interest in her you may end up getting burnt and hurt in 'being friends'. you could indeed fall for her quicker than you thought was physically possible. and now she's 'forbidden fruit' making her even more enticing.

[davidtorres]

she has a bf? dont waste your time. lol

[Mish]

So... how many times should we go out before I invite her to hang out at my house? Keep in mind that we barely know each other.

There isn't a set time and you should really use your intuition to work that out. If things are going well and you feel like you have a rapport with her, then inviting her over for dinner is okay at any time. If you feel a kind of a distance and things are not going all that well, then you should definetly postpone the invite for a bit or indefinetly.

[TSA09]

I'm really confused right now. Yesterday we were supposed to go to the mall but she canceled because she didn't feel good; she suggested we go today instead, but she canceled again as she still doesn't feel good. Here's the message she sent me today:

shitt.
I think I have bronchitis.
and I'm not feelin too well.
how about we just wait til next week that way I won't have to keep canceling.
and I'll probably bring a friend or two.
we'll do it at night. :P

So, I don't know if she's intentionally canceling or if she really is sick. About her bringing a friend.... I don't know about that either. When we hanged out before it was just us two and it was kind of awkward, so maybe she just wants to lighten the mood or something. I don't have a problem with that but I was hoping it would just be us two again. If all goes well I'll see if she wants hang out again, and then after we do that, I'll see if she wants to come over to my house just to play 360, watch Netflix, order pizza/chinese -- stuff like that.

[Gribble]

Forget her. She wants nothing to do with you. You're not even a Plan B. You're like Plan C or D.

The more you sniff around that cooch the more hurt you're gonna be.

[kitkitkitty]

there comes a point where it's more dignified to walk away that to keep picking yourself back up just to be knocked down again. i think it's best to follow this route now.

[TSA09]

She doesn't make any sense at all. She's bringing a guy friend with her, I told her to bring a girl too, and she gets pissed. Here's the messages:


me; 10:04am:
oh yeah. I invited a couple people to go with us but I don't know if either of them will be able to make it. in case they cant go, go ahead and bring one of your other friends thats a girl

]her; 4:04pm
no dude.
you act like there's rules to us hanging out.
its not like that.

me; 4:05pm
dude... what are you talking about?

her; 4:06pm
I mean I'm not bringing a girl.

me; 4:07pm
ha well okay. i dont see why not but whatever. just us two then, ok.


I assume she got offline before I sent the last one. Why is she making this into a big deal? either she brings a girl with us, me and her go alone without the guy, or she can **** off. I'm not going to be a freaking third wheel for her and this dude she wants to bring.

[kitkitkitty]

like me and gribble said, she's not interested. god knows what she's doing so don't bother trying to figure it out and just move on. if she's asking to bring a GUY she has NO intention whatsoever to be anything more than this weird 'friends' arrangement.

[robertdawson]

Hey man, just step back a bit and think about the situation some. I know it is hard when you like the girl and want something to happen, but you have to try and be realistic about the situation. The girl said she was so busy she couldn't hang out with you for a MONTH. Did she even initiate contact with you during that time or did you keep contacting her? A month is a long time. Unless she is a medical student or works 60+ hours a week someone that was even slightly interested in you would squeeze in a little bit of time for you. If someone really coildn't they would, like someone else said, reassure you that they weren't blowing you off and would be talking about when they may be able to hang out with you.

Also, you said that last time she hung out with you that she told you she had a boyfriend? That's when this all should have ended. Don't hang out one on one with girls with boyfriends. That's a good way to to piss her boyfriend off. You're her friend at best.

What reason do you have to be "friends" with her? Do you share common interests? Known each other a long time? It sounds to me like the reason you're her "friend" is that you're hoping she will start to like you. Given the situation, I recommend not hanging out with her anymore. If she contacts you wanting to hang out say "no thanks". It honestly sounds like you're the go to guy when she has nothing else to do.