She's watching photos from our past...

[ginastar]

haha thats good. you may decide to move on instead of getting back with her at this point. It makes it easier to move on though knowing that she did start wanting you back obviously

[just-me]

I doubt I will be able to move on so easy. I still miss her with my whole heart
How do I know if she wants me back or she just wants to be friends? I'm not really expecting an answer, but still, any suggestions?

[ginastar]

how old r u guys? ex's usually dont want to be friends

[just-me]

I'm 31, she's 26. She said she wanted to be friends. She also said she loves me as a friend and she's lost her feelings and she needs some space, but it turned out she fell for this guy and that's obviously what she wanted. She's told a friend that she wouldn't get back with me but we can be friends and now she wants to be single for a while. All this is what she said back then, now she had some time to experience life without me. She behaved like a different person when she left me, now she seems like her old self. I know she's a friend with her other ex but he lives in a different country plus she said they were not very serious about their relationship. Our relationship was very serious and I know she loved me.

Even though she said this was coming for a while (because of issues we had that I explained in other topic) only few weeks before she met the guy she was very committed. She wanted me to work out and run with her, but I never liked running. She wasn't big fan of dogs. I told her jokingly that I'd run every day if she gets me a dog. I'd run with the dog every morning and nigh. She wanted to do it! She really started talking to me about it. I told her that dog is a big commitment and I'd like to have one, but our lifestyle would suffer. That's how it ended, but she was ready to do it for me! I'm don't think she was able to get over me so easy. I'm hoping that I'll be able to bring all that back. I'll keep my distance but stay close, I'll make her laugh and feel good talking to me. I know she really enjoyed talking to me because we were not talking about our relationship or our problems. If that doesn't help I guess I'll have to let her go, but for now I'm not giving up.
Any advices as of when should I meet with her? I'm afraid it's too soon now but if I wait too long she could really move on. How can I let her know that I want to be more than friends without looking week and needy? I feel like I have only one chance and I'm afraid I could blow it!

[ginastar]

just take it slow. although i hope shes not reconnecting with you out of lonliness? it may have been better if she spent more time with this other guy and just realzed that she didnt like him ......right?

[salem]

This method can backfire. Last thing you want to see is nude pictures she's sent to one of your friends and videos of men masturbating to her. I speak from experience.

[ginastar]

wow, have you really caught an ex doing that? Do you regret snooping now or is better that you know whats going on?

[just-me]

just take it slow. although i hope shes not reconnecting with you out of lonliness? it may have been better if she spent more time with this other guy and just realzed that she didnt like him ......right?

well she's not that lonely, she's built a circle of friends on her own while all of my friends are mutual friends. I wasn't going out without her really, mostly because of my work schedule. She definitely misses the guy and she won't have time to realize anything about him. he's an actor, has small roles in big movies and travels a lot. He's a good looking guy and I'm pretty sure he has a girl like this in every town he visits. I would if I was him. I've heard she's planning to go and visit him again. she already went to California for only 4 days just to see him. Maybe she'll figure out that she's wasting money, we were always trying to save for our future plans. It seems like she's living a moment without any plans for the future.

She watched some of our photos again yesterday, she was checking my facebook profile (I deleted all photos of her from there). She's probably wondering what and how am I doing but that doesn't mean she feels anything more. What gives me some hope though is that i was not checking on my ex when I broke up with her because I really moved on. She might have mixed feelings but how do I work my way back to her heart I don't know.

I went on this date today and it was pretty relaxed. she's a nice girl and we had a brunch, then went to the mall and had a good time.We went to the same mall I used to go with my ex and I missed her again. It was so unusual for me to be alone with another girl, but I enjoyed it. I just don't feel attraction to any women I do have my physical needs but that's all. I don't wanna just have sex without any feelings. My friend who broke up with his gf the same day when my gf broke up with me told me today that he finally slept with some girl. I asked him how it was and he said he felt nothing.
I know it will pass with the time but I'm afraid of thinking about future months or maybe even years without feelings. I need to be loved and I enjoyed it for so long. Now I feel so empty and have no drive to do anything in my life. Even when I'm having fun I feel like it's been forced on me.

@salem it's not going to backfire because I'm not actually looking at her photos, just checking files and folders she was opening and all of them were our photos. She doesn't have a camera now and if she has any photos of him it is probably only on her cell phone. Also she's not updated her facebook profile since our break up and our photos are still there.

[cake85]

It's not that hard really, we had local network set up in our house, all computers were connected and drives shared. Once I log in on our wireless network I still have access to all shared drives. I know most people don't agree with my method but it helped me a lot. It didn't really bring me closure, but I'm getting close now. It helped me realize that she's not a bad person and what we had was real. She remembers. She's acting cold and heartless because she doesn't wanna give me false hope. She was actually committed and wanted to save our relationship, but one can't control his heart. She fell in love and and didn't think about consequences or chances about having successful long distance relationship. I know because she did the same thing for me. We both did and basically screwed our lives for each other. I thought that would make our bond inseparable. I guess it was too much pressure for her.
I still love her and miss her. It will be hard to completely get over a person you're getting along so well and had bond like no other. If we just met under different circumstances things could have been different.

Hey, teach me how to do it lol

are you for real? that's so immature! stop spying on ur girlfriend!

[ginastar]

its not immature! god , people, its reality!!!!!

[Illusional]

instead of spying on her, why don't you just be straight up and talk to her about it?? unless you're a fag.


raverboy

[salem]

wow, have you really caught an ex doing that? Do you regret snooping now or is better that you know whats going on?

Well, no I'm not better. I confronted both and there's still denial all around. These images haunt me.

Snooping on your ex can be a slippery slope. Plus, out of a standpoint of common courtesy, it just isn't fair or ethical. I understand the desire to snoop is strong but, mark my words, there will be a day when you see something that you won't be able to stomach. Don't do it. Don't do it. Resist the temptation. If you want her back in your life, there are more proven methods to assuage her interest in your situation, though I am not qualified to give that kind of advice!

[doppelgaenger]

Threads like this are hopeless. That's why I never post my insight in them.

[Illusional]

^^^ so why do you even bother entering them in the first place?


raverboy

[ginastar]

whats the update with this??