Feelings for a Best friend

[loverboy1122]

Hi there,

I am 21 yr old guy (Indian). Ive been in the US all my life. I have a really close best friend (an american girl)...and recently i have feelings for her more than in a friendship level.

She is very innocent. She tries to make everyone around her very happy and can get easily stressed out. She just broke with an Ex and still talks to him (who gives her stress) just because she doesnt want him to feel bad. She has told me that she would never date him. She also has another friend who is coming to visit her in a few weeks...but she has told him she will never date him also. Ive known her for a long time and just a month ago I started having strong feelings for her. She has asked me questions like "Whos your best friend?" and "Whats something I dont know about you?" We would eat brkfst, lunch, and dinner every day, study everyday, and even workout everyday.

I am going to Medical school next year and shes going to do her PhD in biology.

I want to be in a relatioship with her b/c i know her very well and the way she deserves to be treated. I dont know if i should ask her if she would like to be in a relationship with me. If so, HOW DO I ASK HER? I am very torn about this and i cant concentrate on anything else. Please Please Please help me out here!!!

Thanks!!!

-Dr Confused

[MerryH]

Instead of asking for a relationship with her, why don't you just ask her out on a date? Don't say "Let's have dinner", say "I'd like to take you out on a date to ThatNiceRestaurant this Friday. Want to go?" Be sure ThatNiceRestaurant is somewhere decently fancy-ish. That would make it clear that this isn't a friends-hanging-out situation. If she says yes, then take it from there. If it's a no, then at least you haven't proclaimed your love and made it awkward, and you can continue as if nothing happened.

[loverboy1122]

Hey,

I have taken her to a nice restaurant and she was all up for coming with me. This was 2 weeks ago ish. Today she wants to go get ice cream with me...later tonite at our favorite dairy queen. I pay for it most of the time. We just got done with 3 exams back to back. Everytime she would go somewhere, shed always wait and say goodbye to me if i was around. "See you later!" in a nice sweet voice. I meet every morning for brkfst. Id always get her favorite...bagel and a tea. We'd go to class together, sit next to each other, leave class together. We might get more food after that or she might go to her room and ill go to mine. Wed then go to lunch together. Id visit her all the time at work. We always walk together, eat together, study together, workout together.

I just spoke with her yesterday and she says she doesnt want to date anyone for a couple months. I didnt tell her that i have feeling for her yet. I want her to tell her that I want to be in a relationship with her but i am willing to take it slow and give her all the freedom she wants. I wont expect to be on the phone or hanging out all the time. I want her to take all the time she needs..to hang out with her friends, talk to family, be alone, and etc. She says she still cares about her ex (meaning...she has memories that she cant easily give up...and she said she doesnt think its fair for her next boyfriend). I know all about their drama and what not....and i dont give a damn. I know she was not treated the way she deserves to be treated by her ex. I want to be in a relationship with her...but just continue doing what we have been doing. I am not expecting anything more. I just want to be able to call her my gf.

So girls, Please give me adviceee on what i should do. I AM VERY CONFUSED and cant concentrate on school!!!

Thanks!!!!

[loverboy1122]

any advice?

[kats86]

If you tell her you love her right now while she says she still has feelings for her ex, you will lose any chance of having a relationship. Let things cool off, and like MerryH said before: take her on a date and see what happens....you can't ask for a relationship the way things are now.