Could you forgive the one you love??

[Bannababy11]

Ok, so here's the story. My boyfriend and I have been dating since December of 08" I am now a high school senior. Please don't think that we didn't have real love because we did. So here it goes, this august we had been fighting a Lot. And out of the blue he stopped telling me he loved me as much and would always say oh kelly we aren't even dating. But we defiantly were. So I decided to go visit my friend at college in Which he hates and has forbidden me to see. I got drunk and had sex with a guy. I know this sounds terrible but he antagonized it completely. So anyway, he forgave me for lying and going. But he never knew about that dirty detail. He thought I had just kissed a guy. So finally after 20 lies from my end and him drilling me with question after question he got it out of me. And freaked out. No abuse just very emotional. So here comes the bad part, he tells my father what I did up at college because I guess it slipped out while they were talking. My dad will look at me the same. He thinks I am some sort of slut. There's just certain things a dad doesn't need to know. And in the begining of our relationship about 2 yrs ago he has sex with another girl. I know it was the begining and didn't mean anything but it still happened. Any way my question to all of you is 1.) could you ever forgive me for what I did considering this is true love and how much he loved me.... Shouldn't he find it in his heart to forgive me if he loved me so much? 2.) do you think I should put my self back in this relationship if he does forgive me because now he has a get out of jail free card 3.) I really am freaking out crying everyday over this. Stressed to the max, crying in and out of school because I can't picture my life with out this person 4.) any ideas how to get him back, space, gifts, time, money,?? What?? And 5.) how long to wait before giving up?? THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME IN READING THIS. I NEED MAJOR HELP AND ADVISE!!!!!!

[nerdy_guy]

You covered up a huge mistake on your part and for you... that's love? No matter how much he antagonized you... you don't go around having sex with someone else. True love resolves things the right way. True never says "Oh, I'm f*cking someone else because my true love antagonized me, and I'll just lie to my true love after that". Stop making excuses. That's wrong. You don't solve things that way.

Yes, there are a few things a dad doesn't need to know... like maybe a birthday surprise. Not his daughter getting banged up by "just a friend". You don't want him to know you had sex, but you'll want him to know IF you got pregnant. So that he'll hopefully find some sympathy for you.

If I were your boyfriend. I wouldn't give you a chance. You did something majorly terrible and would rather lie than fix it. And for that I'll be having issues trusting you again. You're better off fixing your attitude first. Then move on with your life to another guy, and hopefully you won't end up doing the same thing all over again.

[doppelgaenger]

The moral of this story is don't do something that daddy wouldn't think fondly of.

You have a handful of excuses for having this one night stand. It was a pretty disgusting thing what you did - get drunk and f*ck some guy. This is something that no guy would admire. Not only did you drunkenly go out and get taken advantage of, but you were dishonest and deceitful about it. It doesn't matter who did or said what, it's ultimately your fault. What's even worse, is that you don't seem to accept that and you think you deserve forgiveness and you should have whatever you want - not repentant at all.

Anyhow, does this *really* seem like a loving, caring relationship? You took so much effort to make sure we understand that, but in fact, I don't. It doesn't sound loving or caring at all. I think the both of you completely disregard each other and you do whatever you want. I don't get the feeling that you two go well together. How can you possibly be so sad and attached to such a shitty, destructive relationship? My god, this is the epitome of high school drama.

All I have to say is break up. It's really so silly what you're doing. It's senseless to be in such a relationship.

[breacliff]

It depends on a person. If the man really love the girl maybe he can forgive the girl.
"True love remains and can forgive all the time"

[Raven_Skye]

Okay, not a guy but wanting to give my two cents here too, cause honestly you don't have to be a guy to comment on this, anyone with a brain can help you out here.
^I don't agree on that what breacliff said. You can be willing to forgive but your heart doesn't always work that way. It doesn't for me. When someone breaks my trust, I can say I'll give them another chance, my mind may want to, but my heart's been hurt and can't get the trust back. So maybe you should ask him if this works for him. Though I don't understand how you could've gotten this far with him if he cheated on you before. Even if it was in the beginning, there is NO excuse for cheating. And I resent too that you wonder if you should get back into the relationship because he's got a get out of jail card free now? Are you serious? Because you cheated, he's gonna do the same? Blah, if that's true this relationship isn't worth anything. You ask for how to get him back and you mention gifts and money? How high maintenance are you that you think this will get his heart back to you? Seriously, gifts and money? You can't buy love, as cliche as that might sound.

What you need to do is think of you want him back, and if you can keep your pants on in the future.. and ask him the same. Both parties have to be willing to be faithful. Or it won't work. Ask him if he can forgive you ever, otherwise, don't bother.

Oh and about this;

The moral of this story is don't do something that daddy wouldn't think fondly of.

Are you serious? If my dad would have known half the things I did he wouldn't have liked them. He would have still loved me, no doubt there, but let's say my father was a bit more puritan than me .

[Bannababy11]

Thanks for all the advice. I honestly wrote this trying to feel better about self. But I guess NO ONE makes mistakes. Just me!!! I honestly want him back because I do love him I just can't understand why I did what I did. And that's why i was reaching out trying to get some help. I believe no' matter what your "true love" does you are destine to forgive them. But that's just me. Idk! Any other words of wisdom??

[nerdy_guy]

But I guess NO ONE makes mistakes. Just me!!! I honestly want him back because I do love him I just can't understand why I did what I did. And that's why i was reaching out trying to get some help.

Wrong, we make mistakes too. We just don't feed you advice based on feeding you things that makes you feel good. We base it on right and wrong.
Once again, you can't "understand why you did that" because that is just an excuse to make yourself feel less guilt of what you've done. And here's something you don't know about true love. it's called SELF CONTROL.