How do I pursue this girl?

[nukl92]

This is gonna be kind of long sorry...

Im a freshman in college. My first class on my first day i saw this girl walk into class that was pretty good looking and caught my eye. I hoped she would sit by me but she didnt. So through the day i realized we were going to all the same classes. On my way to my last class of the day i realized that she was going to the same class as me again. So i got some courage and asked "are you going to such and such?" she said "yes" and i told her how i realized that we had all the same classes. She said she was glad she met me because she didnt wanna walk alone around campus between classes. after our last class i walked her to her dorm and she gave me her phone number. i thought that was a pretty good sign. So blah blah blah, its been a month now and we sit with eachother and walk together to every class. i learned about 3 weeks ago that she had a boyfriend, after i looked at her facebook. i was bummed but i figured they werent getting married lol so i guess i could wait. so this monday, the topic of our english class was about relationships. she said something like "ugh i cant stand hearing this, i just broke up with my bf" and i said oh really? i didnt know u had a bf (but i did cuz i saw it on her facebook lol) she said they had went out for 4 years. i asked her about the breakup today and she didnt really wanna talk about it, she said she is just ignoring him. i guess they got into a fight. but i am pretty sure its final if ur thinking they might go back out. When should i ask her if she wants to go out? i dont think she even likes me but isnt it worth a shot? im not good with this kinda stuff, ive really only had one gf and that was last year and it didnt go far. i really dont think she likes me but idk if she was just like that cuz she had a bf before. btw, shes a girl that has alot of male friends, which really makes me second guess myself too. no girl has every really liked me except for my one gf, but i think she was kinda weird anyway. im not like a weird kid or anything, im not a player, i try to be as much of a gentleman as i can be, im a nice guy, but i guess what isnt going for me is my looks. im not the most confident guy. i dont think im really that bad looking, i guess im just nothing really to look at. idk. its hard to be good looking in college going up against guys that have bigger biceps than ur head lol. no girl has really ever looked at me as someone to have a relationship with. i wanna tell her how i feel but i get very nervous. it took me all day just to man up and ask her how the break up was going. she really didnt wanna talk about it but she said that she is just ingoring him. i really dont know how to go about this because i really have never been in a relationship or been liked by a girl before. Im pretty sure she doesnt really look at me as bf material, i think we are just kinda school friends. but i have partied with her once, but it wasnt really anything special, thats another story lol. we text eachother a good bit but it just pretty much revolves around school. how do i go about seeing if she even likes me, or asking her out? i dont think i have enough balls just to ask her face to face lol. is it a bad idea to text her or chat her on facebook and tell her how i feel? in high school i never pursued girls because i knew they wouldnt like me, im in college now and i wanna have a better college experience with girls than i did in high school. idk what the hell to do, any and all info will be really appreciated, i feel like a loser having to ask this online but idk how the hell to go about it

[MerryH]

You should have asked her out on a date a long time ago. Try asking girls out on casual dates before you start pining for them. It makes it much less of a big deal, which it doesn't have to be at all. It's less of a let-down if she says no.

So ask her to go out for coffee, dinner, or drinks with you. Ask out lots of other girls too, since you need the practice.

[nukl92]

today she wasnt in class and i got sick of waiting to ask her so i texted her while in class. i asked her if she wanted to go out sometime and she said ya, that would be fun. im just worried she thinks were going out as friends...

[MerryH]

Bring flowers.

[phresh]

I'm curious how it panned out let me know!!

[nukl92]

well the last few days i was suspicious of her getting back with her bf. today i saw her wall on facebook and her bf posted on it asking when shes coming home and stuff. idk if shes a type of girl to talk with her ex but im not sure. should i ask her about it and say i saw ur wall and was wondering how u and ur bf were? or is that not a good idea? so i dont sound like a creeper. i just want to know what she thinks of me already, im getting sick of waiting around. i cant take worrying about this everyday and its the only thing i think about. if she not into me, i understand, no girl has been. but if she is in to me i wanna know already. i just dont know how to bring it up and i also dont know how to ask if she is still going out with her bf

[spiritofjosh]

If I were you I'd just be easy with all of it. One if she was to date you it's a good chance you'd end up being a rebound from her ex. And two if you went out as friends what would that hurt? You can't expect to go out once and be dating by the end of the night. So go out with her for drinks, dinner what have you and see how the night ends. Don't try to kiss her or be pushy, if you wants to let you in her life that way you'll know. Just take your time and good luck.

[nukl92]

*Update*

So she said she would go out with me but i never actually took her out yet. Monday i said something to the extent of "so are we ever gonna go out?" and she said "whenever u ask me" idk why i said that because its my job to actually take her out, i guess i was just getting anxious, idk, lol. i was gonna asker her out again yesterday for us to go out tomorrow, but we walked home with some class friends (dudes) so i didnt want to do it then cuz it would have been awkward. i texted her the same day after school saying "what are u doing thursday" she never responded and i asked her about it today and she said her friend had her phone all day because her friends phone broke. i know thats true because she told me about it before, she said her friend told her about the text late at night while she was sleeping and thats y she didnt respond. so thats cool, no red flags there. so today while i was at work i messaged her on facebook, this is our conversation:

Me: so considering u didnt want to respond to me yesterday, does that mean u dont want to go out with me tomorrow?

Her: i didnt even get your message yesterday haha and idk if i'll be able too tomorrow or not

Me: just keep on putting it off lol. if u dont want to its cool

Her:aha im sorry, if it was earlier this week i could but im going with my friends tomorrow and idk what time i have to..and friday im going home so next week sometime?

Me:ya thats cool
Me: probly tuseday or thrursday cuz i dont have work

Her: alrighty just lemme know

Me: k



So this is looking good right? i just really hope that she doesnt think were going out as friends. i made it pretty clear that i want to go out with her as more than friends right?

[nukl92]

ok so more than a month later and i still dont know what to do. today she was complaining to me about her bf how he bugs her on facebook and stuff and she said that he said he wants her in her life somehow and she said shes cool being friends with her and what not. is that already a bad sign that she is talking to me about her bf.... like a friend? instead of someone she likes?

a few weeks ago i was texting her and we were talking about where to go out to eat on our (hopefully) date. she then asked y i wanted to do this so bad, and i told her cuz ive been trying to for 2 months. then she said "Y?" and i said "Really? because i like u... lol" she the responded with "oh do u now?" i sent one final text back say "lol" and that was the end of that

anyway, last week i as bored and messaged her on facebook. im not sure exactly how the conversation went but i was getting very anxious again and i had to leave with my friends for something. so it was kind of rushed. all i really remember is saying do u like me or not? blah blah blah, then she said something, then said "i dont like anyone" with a smiley face. is that the end of me trying? is that her just being funny? is that her just making a pun at her bf? i wish i knew what this meant. and how she said a few times before that she would go out with me, (even tho it didnt happen) does it mean she really didnt want to in the first place? or did she maybe like me and just over it? BTW, i feel ridiculous for doing this but i know the info to her facebook so i looked at her messages between her and her bf on their. the convo went something like him saying if u need money let me know, her saying that its hard for her being single cuz she has never done it before. that its not a bad thing to try being single and some other stuff.

is this a lost cause? im i just blind and she doesnt/never liked me? is she just not ready to like someone? i have no clue! IM SO CONFUSED, any help would be appreciated!

[MerryH]

Wait, so do you just go, "Will you go out with me sometime" and she says yes, then you never actually make a plan for it? What's going on there? Why haven't you gone out yet?

And what do you mean you know her info on Facebook? Like, you know her password so you logged on to her account?

[lovesjoyajm]

DON'T do this whole "keep putting if off, it's fine if you don't want to go out with me" thing. ASK her on a date at a specific time. Keep trying until you have good reason to believe she's not interested. I'd get tired of a guy so quickly if he kept asking me, "so are you not interested in me anymore?"

Also, don't ask her about her relationship. It's a recipe for awkwardness. If you think you sound sympathetic, to her you sound like a sponge waiting to soak up all her emotion.

[nukl92]

Wait, so do you just go, "Will you go out with me sometime" and she says yes, then you never actually make a plan for it? What's going on there? Why haven't you gone out yet?

And what do you mean you know her info on Facebook? Like, you know her password so you logged on to her account?

for the first question yes. we try to make plans for it then she ends up being busy. sometimes it sounds like she is genuinely trying to make time but sometimes she is more non chalant.

and for the second question yes, i feel like a perv but i like her ALOT

[nukl92]

DON'T do this whole "keep putting if off, it's fine if you don't want to go out with me" thing. ASK her on a date at a specific time. Keep trying until you have good reason to believe she's not interested. I'd get tired of a guy so quickly if he kept asking me, "so are you not interested in me anymore?"

Also, don't ask her about her relationship. It's a recipe for awkwardness. If you think you sound sympathetic, to her you sound like a sponge waiting to soak up all her emotion.

but if she says "i dont like anyone :p" theres still hope?

[Applesauce]

here you go. All your questions answered. Just read the first 3 posts

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/47332-how-get-girls.html[/url]

[MerryH]

I think it's time to step away from this one. If she keeps canceling on dates, she clearly isn't that excited about going out with you. You're wasting your time.

More importantly, though, if you're so obsessed with her that you can't keep yourself from completely invading her privacy and being a creepy weirdo, you need to leave her alone and forget about her.