Unhappy. All a Matter of Perspective? Or Do I Just Fail At Life?

[sparkle_jello]

It's a touching suggestion but I would never join any branch of the armed forces. I have no desire to die or have another person's life depend on me making the right decision. Nor do I have any desire to spend a few months in a training camp getting screamed at. I just want my old life back. You all want me to feel better about myself? Turn back time.

But you would gladly reap the benefits of living here in the US. Let me tell you something, NO ONE in the military wants to die! The people I met in the service weren't always the most upstanding people, but they were very dedicated, and had incredible courage and character. I know people that in a second would throw themselves on a grenade to save other, but they would never WANT to.
Here is a little of what you had to say"I am stuck, people. I have no skills. I am growing older every day. The woman I loved and dedicated my life to is out f*cking some asshole who needs a bullet in the head because he's a paralegal and owns his own home. Everyone around me is succeeding and doing quite well yet I am doing nothing but failing at life and I don't see a way out. I can do my best to blame the economic downturn but truthfully that has nothing to do with it, I've been stuck since 1999."
So you think he deserves a bullet in his head for being a paralegal and owning his own home? Stop moping about what you DON'T have, and make it happen for you.
Even before you were originally fired you weren't making decent money, you are the one who decided to work there for ten years.
This whole military thing could be the ONE thing you can do that is going to turn your life around. You would get a paycheck, women like military men, you could get housing, and you can see the world. We are pulling out of iraq right now, and if you joined the Air Force chances are your deployments are more like sand vacations (I speak from experience!)

[sparkle_jello]

Yet all of you are getting exactly what you want out of life. All of you are succeeding and leading happy, fulfilled lives while I get nothing. How is that fair?

This is completely fair because I worked my ****ing ass off. Before I went into the military I worked at a gas station earning minimum wage, I knew I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life and joined the military, where I met my husband. For four years I went to school, went to they bases they picked, and deployed. I deployed 8 months after giving birth, but my rotation was only for 3 months. I ended up going to school while I was in and they paid for my tuition when I got out, my husband and I are both now out of the military with our degrees. My husband was able to get a job making more than me, so we decided that I would stay at home. Because of our HARD work and SACRIFICE we now have a house, three cars, spending money, and vacation money. We will never be rich, or have it easy, but we can live and be proud. I was in the exact same place as you, but I made decisions that bettered my life.

[Gribble]

OV, I'm not talking about a relationship founded on money. Gold diggers are a whole 'nother story. Even if this guy was broke as all hell, if he was at least trying to better himself that would improve his chances with decent women tremendously. Money is an important part of relationships. Love can't pay the bills or clothe the kids. No woman with any sense in her head is going to get hung up on a guy who has absolutely no prospects. Even if he is a really decent, loving guy (and I have my doubts) he's far from the only one of his kind.

You don't need to be a doctor to get a good woman. You just need to show some effort. The mere act of enrolling in college would be enough to make many women overlook just how broke he is. That and moving out of the parents' basement. Rent a room, bud.

[Only-virgins]

OV, I'm not talking about a relationship founded on money. Gold diggers are a whole 'nother story. Even if this guy was broke as all hell, if he was at least trying to better himself that would improve his chances with decent women tremendously. Money is an important part of relationships. Love can't pay the bills or clothe the kids. No woman with any sense in her head is going to get hung up on a guy who has absolutely no prospects. Even if he is a really decent, loving guy (and I have my doubts) he's far from the only one of his kind.

You don't need to be a doctor to get a good woman. You just need to show some effort. The mere act of enrolling in college would be enough to make many women overlook just how broke he is. That and moving out of the parents' basement. Rent a room, bud.

First of Bull shit and don't tell me the advice Gribbo. My life is where I want it. I lived with my parents for a long time. Nothing wrong with it. I find it stupid that this is something women really look at because if you move out it drains literally ALL your money. No, in-rolling in school is not the same with women as having a career and a lot of money coming in because it is as much about status as it is about money. Where I come from you live with your folks and then you get married before you move out so you can move out together. Everyone has such a warped mentality about what a relationship is supposed to be that it puzzles my mind.

Actually today I miss my mommy cooking it is piergo day. *sniff* I would totally move back if I could

So for fun haha:

[sparkle_jello]

I don't think I would enter into a relationship with someone that lives with their parents. To know a person you have to have a certain amount of private time together, not at a restaurant, but together at your own place. Not only that but I want a guy that can prove he can take care of himself, if he's always lived with his parents there is no proof he can be that man.

[Only-virgins]

I don't think I would enter into a relationship with someone that lives with their parents. To know a person you have to have a certain amount of private time together, not at a restaurant, but together at your own place. Not only that but I want a guy that can prove he can take care of himself, if he's always lived with his parents there is no proof he can be that man.

That is why I always keep the fact that I have my own place out of topics at first. In an attempt to send girls like you running for the hills. Good luck and may you find your human wallet

I totally want to move back ... I miss my mommy

[sparkle_jello]

That is why I always keep the fact that I have my own place out of topics at first. In an attempt to send girls like you running for the hills. Good luck and may you find your human wallet

I totally want to move back ... I miss my mommy

Why are you judging me because I would like a guy to have his own place? I have a husband of eight years. I have a degree and I had a career before I started staying at home. If I were to be single tomorrow am I supposed to start dating men that lived with their mommies? Hell no. I have one kid already, I don't need two. I would probably date someone with 1. Own place 2. Stable job 3. Kids of his own so we are both coming from the same place 4. Insatiable lust for my vagina

[Only-virgins]

Why are you judging me because I would like a guy to have his own place? I have a husband of eight years. I have a degree and I had a career before I started staying at home. If I were to be single tomorrow am I supposed to start dating men that lived with their mommies? Hell no. I have one kid already, I don't need two. I would probably date someone with 1. Own place 2. Stable job 3. Kids of his own so we are both coming from the same place 4. Insatiable lust for my vagina

you aren't in the dating seen at all. Why even bother telling me all that information like I care? I have the right to judge you if you were a potential date base on that just like you have the right to judge me based on whatever other reason you want to come up with.

[sparkle_jello]

you aren't in the dating seen at all. Why even bother telling me all that information like I care? I have the right to judge you if you were a potential date base on that just like you have the right to judge me based on whatever other reason you want to come up with.

You can dislike me all you want based on things about me that are true and relevant; however, I don't like it when people dislike me for 'untrue' reasons. You say I'm looking for a human wallet? Just because I don't think it's perfectly normal to stay at home with mommy and daddy doesn't mean I'm looking for a human wallet. You need to find a better way of drawing conclusions about people based on facts.

[Sonrisa]

advice - it's not hard to make a woman more feminine with some effort. any woman. jewish or not.

[Only-virgins]

You can dislike me all you want based on things about me that are true and relevant; however, I don't like it when people dislike me for 'untrue' reasons. You say I'm looking for a human wallet? Just because I don't think it's perfectly normal to stay at home with mommy and daddy doesn't mean I'm looking for a human wallet. You need to find a better way of drawing conclusions about people based on facts.

I didn't say I dis-like you. I don't know you. Just saying I wouldn't date a woman who bases her love for me on things such as living on your own. I draw my conclusion on people based on the experience and dealing with people my entire life. I know what I am dealing with and don't need you to tell me what facts are and aren't. I don't think it is perfectly normal to judge anyone on their financial situation. Make up all the excuses you want for not wanting to date someone like that but it all comes down to money.

[sparkle_jello]

Yeah well I don't like being told good luck to find my human wallet.

[Sonrisa]

oh, i just love how you guys just made it personal.

[ChristianonLI]

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry I even brought anything up.

I don't disagree with the fact that it is important to exhibit self-sufficiency as a quality in a mate. HOWEVER, my ex-wife also lived with her parents and willingly moved in with me into the apartment I reside in which happens to be in my parents' house, an apartment that is wholly separate from the rest of the house. So in regards to privacy I think that point is moot because if it wasn't me living here and paying rent to my parents it would be some stranger doing the same exact thing. The problem I have is that too many women freely display a double standard that no one ever tries to correct them on. A woman who lives with her own parents can somehow feel as though she deserves to only have someone who owns their own home. A woman who has no money, no skills and no future can and usually does feel that she deserves a certain quality of man that is superior to her own quality. And no one ever tries to correct her why? Because they all want to f*ck her, that's why.

And that's what is wrong in America with women. We've bred several generations now of rude, elitist, snotty bitches who expect the world on a silver platter and men never try to fix them and put them straight because they want to have sex with them. And that's what I deal with every day.

Yes, I'm satisfied with where I am because if I were in committed relationship with a woman making an equal amount of money (as my ex-wife did) it would be enough to survive comfortably on Long Island. It wouldn't be lavish, we wouldn't have a maid or a pool but we would have gotten along just fine with our combined salaries. However she left me after 3 months and never gave us that chance.

As a 7-Eleven store manager I would make enough to survive on my own and I know I have exhibited the skill and dedication to earn that position. It's just a matter of the position opening up which requires I be patient as my bosses deal with the corporate red tape and negotiations that are involved in store acquisitions. How is THAT not something to strive for?

No, I DO NOT EVER want to serve in the armed forces. However I do hold the utmost respect for those Americans willing to do such a dangerous and stressful job. They are defending our way of life, our ideals of freedom and all that jazz. I respect what they do because I refuse to do it. I don't have it in me and it's perfectly normal to recognize one's shortcomings and compensate for it as such.

When I started the thread I did it under the auspices of simply stating facts. Where I am in life, the amount of money I make, the cost of living I am faced with. Sure, I may have done it in a bit of an "oh, why me!" tone considering all my previous posts on this forum the past year. However, what this thread has turned into is not what I wanted I respectfully request that those of you involved in the argument at hand, please stop. Let it be.

And for the record, I do not make minimum wage. I make considerably more than minimum wage, actually, but it's still just not enough. Again, Long Island is EXPENSIVE. That's no joke. Yea, $24,000 a year isn't good at all. It's quite horrible. But minimum wage, after taxes, would mean I'd be bringing in barely $10,000 a year! So essentially I'm making double what New York's minimum wage is and it's still not enough to really live on my own. But in a committed relationship, pooling resources, it would be enough.

Is it so wrong to not want to shoot for the stars and instead shoot for what's realistic? I think I've been very realistic thus far.

[sparkle_jello]

And that's what is wrong in America with women. We've bred several generations now of rude, elitist, snotty bitches who expect the world on a silver platter and men never try to fix them and put them straight because they want to have sex with them. And that's what I deal with every day.

There are tons of quality women out there, tons and tons. Just because we take what people make into account of us planning our future and offspring it doesn't make us elitist, snotty bitches.