Unhappy. All a Matter of Perspective? Or Do I Just Fail At Life?

[ChristianonLI]

Yes, actually, it does. I'm not saying you're obligated to have kids with the first homeless man you see but what I AM saying is that the most beautiful women in America are bred to immediately ignore and chastise men like me. Men who didn't shoot for the stars but still hold down a job, pay rent and have the potential to be successful, functioning members of society if not for unavoidable circumstances beyond his control. Too many of you don't want to help a man become something better. You just want him already fully formed to wait on you hand and foot.

[misombra]

i guess i can understand your point. our society has raised women to be stupid, money mongering whores. that's what we see in the media. that the way we look is all that matters. that if we don't have a man that makes a lot of money we're worthless. if we're not destroying each other with competition then we're losers. we don't need to have intelligence, talent, or a sense of self-worth as long as we wear the right clothes and our waists are small and our butts and breasts are big.

it's a terrible thing and i can't imagine having to deal with it.

but don't try to perpetuate it or reinforce it. that makes you part of the problem.

[Spoonandfork]

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry I even brought anything up.

I don't disagree with the fact that it is important to exhibit self-sufficiency as a quality in a mate. HOWEVER, my ex-wife also lived with her parents and willingly moved in with me into the apartment I reside in which happens to be in my parents' house, an apartment that is wholly separate from the rest of the house. So in regards to privacy I think that point is moot because if it wasn't me living here and paying rent to my parents it would be some stranger doing the same exact thing. The problem I have is that too many women freely display a double standard that no one ever tries to correct them on. A woman who lives with her own parents can somehow feel as though she deserves to only have someone who owns their own home. A woman who has no money, no skills and no future can and usually does feel that she deserves a certain quality of man that is superior to her own quality. And no one ever tries to correct her why? Because they all want to f*ck her, that's why.

And that's what is wrong in America with women. We've bred several generations now of rude, elitist, snotty bitches who expect the world on a silver platter and men never try to fix them and put them straight because they want to have sex with them. And that's what I deal with every day.

deal with it. Women have more pressure to be selective about their mates. If you're an alpha male, then this shouldn't be a problem

As a 7-Eleven store manager I would make enough to survive on my own and I know I have exhibited the skill and dedication to earn that position. It's just a matter of the position opening up which requires I be patient as my bosses deal with the corporate red tape and negotiations that are involved in store acquisitions. How is THAT not something to strive for?

at the end of the day, you're still a 7-Eleven employee. That is like a 40 yr old worker at McDonald's saying "yeah but at least I'm a manager." What if something happened that caused your store to close down? Then what? You have little job security and virtually zero room for growth within your corporate ladder. The highest you can ever amount to is making what? Like $40,000?

Is it so wrong to not want to shoot for the stars and instead shoot for what's realistic? I think I've been very realistic thus far.

so far you have given every excuse in the book for why you shouldn't work harder and people should lower their standards for you. It sounds to me like you got what you deserve

[ChristianonLI]

THANK YOU. Now imagine having grown up in a region heavily influenced by one of the most well known cultural hubs in the country...nay, the WORLD (Manhattan). Every woman that doesn't turn my stomach at the sight of her around here thinks this way and it makes me very sad.

[sparkle_jello]

You are just jaded because of the position YOU are in. Really, women who want kids need someone that can afford to support them, there is nothing elitist about finding a man that can support himself on his own, as well as support children if wanted. If they can't succeed in life, they probably wont succeed in marriage.

[misombra]

it's pretty hard in this day in age to find a man who can support a multi-person household. and if you can find a man that can do this, you have to deal with his personality, which makes the options even less. a lot of women who enjoy being supported financially have to deal with infidelity, and the ever present possibility that he will find some other woman to support.

[ChristianonLI]

Dual income households are the only way most people survive on Long Island. That's just the way it is around here. A dual income household of MY income as a store manager and the income of a spouse would translate into relatively comfortable living. This means enough money to feed and clothe ourselves as well as our children. I thought my ex-wife understood this. I thought she accepted this. She certainly gave every impression of being cool with the simple goals I had. But we're not really here to talk about her, now are we?

Before most of you say another word, go do some research on Long Island and see what it takes to live around here before you just write me off as an unmotivated loser.

[sparkle_jello]

it's pretty hard in this day in age to find a man who can support a multi-person household. and if you can find a man that can do this, you have to deal with his personality, which makes the options even less. a lot of women who enjoy being supported financially have to deal with infidelity, and the ever present possibility that he will find some other woman to support.

I disagree that it is hard, I just think people live outside their means. For example, some may have to go down to one car, or eat out less, or sell their sperm(jk) to make it work. I have been staying at home for the last 4 months because next year I am either entering a radiology tech program, or the police force(I really want this but I got turned down once), we decided that before I enter a long term career that I stay at home and get stuff done, and have more time with my child when she is at home.
I am anxious about the whole midlife crisis and him finding another woman, but in truth my husband doesn't deserve this because he really is a man of high integrity. We've talked about if we ever wanted variety that we should talk to each other and see if there is a way we can do this, but he has never been anything but great.
I am a little old fashion, I think men should take care of the family. They may not make the most in the relationship, but they should have the drive to provide, not just be like I'll put in half, you put in half. Women get pregnant and it hinders are careers A LOT! Women also do a lot of the housework, there are some men that do it too.

[sparkle_jello]

Dual income households are the only way most people survive on Long Island. That's just the way it is around here. A dual income household of MY income as a store manager and the income of a spouse would translate into relatively comfortable living. This means enough money to feed and clothe ourselves as well as our children. I thought my ex-wife understood this. I thought she accepted this. She certainly gave every impression of being cool with the simple goals I had. But we're not really here to talk about her, now are we?

Before most of you say another word, go do some research on Long Island and see what it takes to live around here before you just write me off as an unmotivated loser.

You should move then.

[misombra]

omg you want to be a cop?

we can't be friends.

[ChristianonLI]

Thank you, Misombra, for seeming to take my side (unless I misread). I would like to point out that as bitter, angry and delusional as I seem in my posts here this is not how I am in real life. I am a good, honest and genuine person. When I have a woman in my life I give her everything I can even at my own expense and as far as I'm concerned my reason for being is to see her happy. This is how I entered into my marriage and in spite of what that horrible woman did to me this is how I intend to go into my next relationship. So what if I don't want to be an electrician, or a mason, or an insurance salesman, or a navy seal, or a lawyer? I have personally observed 7-Eleven store managers who are able to own homes, have wives and children, lease up to date model cars and enjoy all the other amenities of life. And they worked hard to get there, toiling up the ladder making jack shit for money, but in the end it paid off. What's wrong with me wanting the same thing in the same business? It's wrong because some of YOU think 7-Eleven is an all around inferior choice of employment? Apparently you've never shopped in 7-Elevens that are run correctly, staffed by competent and dedicated employees, kept clean and well stocked. It's a more respectable business than some of you may realize.

[misombra]

i do understand. it's hard right now. if working there makes you happy and you can make a happy life for yourself then find yourself a woman who loves you no matter where you're working. at least you're working and apparently have a good work ethic and have goals of having a home and a family. there are beautiful women who are willing to do that.

i don't agree with your idea of beauty. looks fade, you know? we're all gonna end up with a saggy ass at one point or another. if you find a woman who understands you and is beautiful in your mind then you've got something going for you.

trying to get with the type of woman i talked about earlier, the one that society has ingrained in your mind of what a woman should be, whose self-worth revolves around the way they look, you're only going to find yourself becoming bitter, and reinforcing your thinking that beautiful women only want money.

[sparkle_jello]

omg you want to be a cop?

we can't be friends.

I've wanted to be a cop so bad. You have no idea. It was a six month process. I did the fitness test, passed the civil service examination. I passed the background test, and I passed the polygraph and psych eval. I was nervous about my hearing loss but I never got that far.
I went before the oral review board and there were five men. I am 5'5 and only 115 lbs, and I currently have braces. I'm 28 and look almost like a teen. Out of 100 applicants I was scored # 5 before this board. I did the board and I answered the questions well, and dressed well, but they said I didn't have experience (my degree was in health care because it was the only degree my health care employer paid for), and I didn't have enough command presence. I have to wait a whole year to apply again. I am devastated because of this, I hate being a home maker, and I'm bad at it. I want to chase down perps, and hit them.

[Only-virgins]

She just wants to pull me over and give me a ticket.

[sparkle_jello]

She just wants to pull me over and give me a ticket.

No, I don't want to give tickets. I don't like hypocrites and by giving someone else a speeding ticket when I've raced more than once makes me one.