Unhappy. All a Matter of Perspective? Or Do I Just Fail At Life?

[ChristianonLI]

Yes, I do have a good work ethic. I learned at a very early age to take pride in what I do, regardless of what it may be. Even digging ditches. Take pride and do the best job you know you can do. But branching into unfamiliar fields that "may" yield more money but equally could yield endless misery and disappointment as a result of failure in said fields, that's something I'm not so sure I can do. If my original employer of 10 years had been an honest man and wanted to actually groom me in being a crucial member of his little private empire of 5 stores then I'd be doing far better than I am right now. And knowing the nature of the business I know I need to give my new employers time to establish themselves before they can start bringing people up. But they say they want to bring me up, they see potential in my skills and experience and I feel I at least owe them the benefit of the doubt for the moment and continue doing what I'm doing and seeing where they lead me. If anywhere.

[Sonrisa]

When I have a woman in my life I give her everything I can even at my own expense and as far as I'm concerned my reason for being is to see her happy. This is how I entered into my marriage and in spite of what that horrible woman did to me this is how I intend to go into my next relationship.

how MUCH can you really give someone with that salary? it will hardly pay for a decent rent. and i totally understand your ex since i've been in that situation. when women are young, they enter a relationship for love. but they mature much faster than boys and pretty soon we find ourselves next to a bum who can't provide for his family.

[misombra]

I've wanted to be a cop so bad. You have no idea. It was a six month process. I did the fitness test, passed the civil service examination. I passed the background test, and I passed the polygraph and psych eval. I was nervous about my hearing loss but I never got that far.
I went before the oral review board and there were five men. I am 5'5 and only 115 lbs, and I currently have braces. I'm 28 and look almost like a teen. Out of 100 applicants I was scored # 5 before this board. I did the board and I answered the questions well, and dressed well, but they said I didn't have experience (my degree was in health care because it was the only degree my health care employer paid for), and I didn't have enough command presence. I have to wait a whole year to apply again. I am devastated because of this, I hate being a home maker, and I'm bad at it. I want to chase down perps, and hit them.

yikes, two strikes against you. you're texan and a cop wanna-be.

[sparkle_jello]

yikes, two strikes against you. you're texan and a cop wanna-be.

I'm NOT a texan, I am an import from NY. I spent a little time in AZ.
**** yeah I want to be a cop. I want to say I deserve to be a cop, but I do understand why they said no. I just don't think that being in my interview attire and sitting down gave them a good perception of how I carry myself and how I to can appear menacing. I can menace the hell out of a guy much bigger than myself.
Anyways, my husband hates the idea and wants me to stay at home, but he is supportive. I am not good at staying at home. I go on this site and run to avoid housework. I actually ran 7 miles the other day because every time I thought about turning around I realized I would have to vacum the floors.

[ChristianonLI]

I should probably just let these attempts to derail the thread happen, but as a final point: at what I make right NOW, and what I was making last year when married, it would have made raising children difficult. However now, with a potential future and decent salary down the road as a result of hard work, it would be much more possible for me. If my ex-wife had been the least bit patient she might have seen that.

[sparkle_jello]

I should probably just let these attempts to derail the thread happen, but as a final point: at what I make right NOW, and what I was making last year when married, it would have made raising children difficult. However now, with a potential future and decent salary down the road as a result of hard work, it would be much more possible for me. If my ex-wife had been the least bit patient she might have seen that.

Have you ever thought it might be your attitude. You said you hated a guy for having a job and owning a home. Also, you keep talking about what you deserve when I know I've worked harder than you to get where I am. You insult women and your thought process behind them is illogical. That could be why women don't like you.

[ChristianonLI]

Oh believe me, women love me. Only the worst specimens, though.

[misombra]

this is where you're having double standards. to many women YOU are considered one of "the worst specimens" as somebody who does not make enough money to support a family. you state that your ex-wife didn't have enough patience to see you reach your potential, well you're having that same problem. you're not getting to know any of these supposed women who want you to realize that they may not be "the worst specimens" and find they have a lot of beauty that you're not seeing or taking the time to see.

[ChristianonLI]

I can't do this anymore. There's a reason trailer park trash look the way they do and a reason movie stars look the way they do. I'm just going to settle on the first thing that comes my way and be done with it so that my MATE more adequately reflects my PLACE in the world. Below average, uninteresting and inferior. There, are you all happy? I'll stop striving to have what I feel I should.

[misombra]

maybe a nice girl who's in between.

[Only-virgins]

but they mature much faster than boys and pretty soon we find ourselves next to a bum who can't provide for his family.

First of I always thought you were a guy for some reason. Maybe the Avatar or something, I don't know. Anyway, to bad women never mature properly.

[Sonrisa]

i would love to see what you look like. show yourself.

[ChristianonLI]

If that was meant for me, I'd like to point out I am exceptionally hesitant at posting a picture of myself. Not because I'm embarrassed of what I look like but because I expect some of you will go so low as to extensively insult my looks for sake of doing so even if there were nothing wrong to be made fun of.

[misombra]

you can show me i won't make fun.

(or save it and send it to random members when you make me mad like some other people.)

[sparkle_jello]

i would love to see what you look like. show yourself.

Me too! Show yourself!