no sex unless he's drunk...turned out because of his 3some relationships in the past

[chiprip]

Hi guys, I want your honest opinion, please.

I'm with my boyfriend for about 4 years. We are good friends and a happy couple for the most part except that he just can't have sex with me unless he's drunk. (He's ok with orals tho). I hated this and tried to discuss on many occasions resulting in his utter refusal of admitting the fact or insisting that he just loves orals that much.

He's working in China since early spring this year, I went to visit him for about 2 months this summer where I found out the true reason; He always had 3somes in his past relationships and is having a hard time to get used to having only me.
I was shocked and upset twice - for the very fact as well as that he didn't tell me for a loooooooong time while I've trusted him and sacrificed my sexual life... He snapped at me when I first tried to discuss this and refused to talk. Later he explained that he froze and didn't know how to talk but wish to work on it with me.

I know that he truly loves me and would like to believe and support him. But I am also tired of sexually frustrated and not sure how much longer I could be patient (after all, he had all 4 yrs to work on it and never did overcome). I am ok with 3somes only if it's meant for just fun and recreational....not in a serious relationship. since I care about him, I don't want it with us.

Although he said that he could enjoy intimacy with me without threesomes, his actions tell me otherwise. I just can not wipe this doubt that one any man got used to 3somes in a relationship, he can never go back.

In reality, can he really ever become to able to enjoy my company only? Does human mind actually work that way?
I want guys perspectives.....honest ones. Please help!

[Gigabitch]

Well, since no guys are responding, I'm going to throw my two cents in.

This whole thing about threesomes in the past making it impossible for him to have sex with you sober is absolute horseshit. First of all, I have a VERY hard time believing he's managed to hook up a threesome every time he's had sex in the past. That's ridiculous. Secondly, that shouldn't affect his ability to have sex with you alone. That would be like saying that the fact that someone has never had sex with more than one person before makes it impossible for them to have a threesome, or that their lifelong habit of masturbating makes it impossible for them to have sex with others.

Long story short: you're not getting what you need. I say end this dissatisfying relationship.

[lyle0729]

This story is just horrifying. He's so selfish! And to say the least he is DEGRADING you by only have sex with you only when he is drunk! Four years??? He must be blessed to have you for four days! If he really, TRULY does love you, he'll want to have sex with JUST you. And if that's not the case, then maybe you're looking for a man who DOES feel the same way. Its seems like your trust for him has been damaged and been gone for quite some time. Hun, this is such a huge slap in your face. Leave him and let him know who comes first!

[asdfg789]

like giga said, this is bullshit.

how can you believe him and put up with this ??

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Im sorry, but he is what he is and you have no business stayin with a relationship like that. imo

[Agape]

if he doesn't respect your sexual needs then find someone who does