Would this bother you?

[beloved2]

Hello,
I have a question in order to receive some input. Was wondering if this would bother you.
My girlfriend and I were really doing great before a trip she went on to see family. She mentioned an old cousin name Thomas that she hasn't seen in years and was real excited to see. He is around her age and they were friends when younger. Well, she has never been really good at phone calls while travelling and she continued this. I did get a little insecure and got a little clingy while she was gone. She was really changing. Well, we broke up (she broke up with me) when she returned. I moved out and started to try to get through this. Just about killed me.
Well- it turns out she went to meet these cousins in Miss. a week later after the breakup. She stayed for a week and partied bigtime. She was crying during this and hurting. But still. She stayed in a cabin of four guys and Thomas - her cousin. THey slept in the same bed- because there wasn't anymore beds left. She told me that he held her when she had one of her fits about crying over me. She was hurting. She partied so so much and such.
She returned. She came by and wanted to get back together. We have and have been seeing each other and really loving it. Well, she shows up on her second date with a baseball shirt of his. She continues to tell me that they are just friends and there is no way she could ever date him and such.
Well, last night she had to go to the emergency room. I drove 30 minutes late at night to sit by her side and hold her hand. Drove her home late and she was a bit cold. Go figure- she is sick and I have a Jeep. Well, when we got back she wasn't feeling well. She went in the next room and made a phone call. She was calling Thomas to tell her that she was okay. Hmmmm.

Guys- am I being to sensitive. It is her family and it is her cousin. but, it seems some boundaries are being crossed and it's making me uncomfortable. Maybe I am off on this one and I want to love and support her.

What do you think?

Thank you so much,
Mark.

[Agape]

Hello,
I have a question in order to receive some input. Was wondering if this would bother you.
1) My girlfriend and I were really doing great before a trip she went on to see family. /1 She mentioned an old cousin name Thomas that she hasn't seen in years and was real excited to see. He is around her age and they were friends when younger. Well, she has never been really good at phone calls while travelling and she continued this. I did get a little insecure and got a little clingy while she was gone. She was really changing. Well, we broke up (she broke up with me) when she returned. I moved out and started to try to get through this. Just about killed me.
2) Well- it turns out she went to meet these cousins in Miss. a week later after the breakup. /2 She stayed for a week and partied bigtime. She was crying during this and hurting. But still. She stayed in a cabin of four guys and Thomas - her cousin. THey slept in the same bed- because there wasn't anymore beds left. (3) She told me that he held her when she had one of her fits about crying over me. She was hurting. She partied so so much and such.
She returned. She came by and wanted to get back together. We have and have been seeing each other and really loving it. Well, she shows up on her second date with a baseball shirt of his. She continues to tell me that they are just friends and there is no way she could ever date him and such.
Well, last night she had to go to the emergency room. I drove 30 minutes late at night to sit by her side and hold her hand. Drove her home late and she was a bit cold. Go figure- she is sick and I have a Jeep. Well, when we got back she wasn't feeling well. She went in the next room and made a phone call. She was calling Thomas to tell her that she was okay. Hmmmm. (/3)

Guys- am I being to sensitive. It is her family and it is her cousin. but, it seems some boundaries are being crossed and it's making me uncomfortable. Maybe I am off on this one and I want to love and support her.

What do you think?

Thank you so much,
Mark.

1) relationship before trip --> 2) break up after trip
3) She has this guy, her cousin, as a priority

No you aren't being insensitive . . . it's mainly she who broke up with you . . . I would say some boundaries are cross and it's rightfully made you feel uncomfortable.

I don't see any 'reason' to love or support her, she has this new guy for that. . . move on

[Incognito]

Ok this is just f*cking weird. So she goes to see this cousin who she is SO excited about, comes back and breaks up with you, goes back and stays with him for a week, comes back and then gets back with you? THEN she shows up with one of his shirts and calls him after a visit to the ER? WTF??? Is she f*cking her cousin? It sure sounds like it. You'd better make sure that he is a blood relative and the 'cousin' isn't just a title. He may have been a close friend who she regarded as a cousin and now she's cheating with him (emotionally, physically or both). If he IS a blood relative I'd be even more disturbed, and would tell her that I want answers. Now that I think about it it doesn't matter if she's just cheating, or if she's a cousin f*cker. It sounds like you need to just move on.

[Incognito]

To answer the question though: Yes it would bother me immensely.

[pr1076]

Yea that would bother me, just comes down whether you trust her man :/

[justcheckin]

I hope for her sake that its not her real cousin....

gross

[VincenzoG91]

Which state does Thomas live in? West Virginia or Kentucky?

[Incognito]

^^^ Hahaha! Both states are know for that, LOL. I thought he said she went to see him in Mississippi though. Every time I hear Mississippi I think about the notes played at :48 seconds on this clip. And of course the 'Squeal like a pig scene'.

[Poetic_Partner]

I don't know whether she's romantically interested in her cousin (1st? 2nd? 5th twice removed?), but that's almost besides the point.

Whether he's a lover or a close confident, she has issues with YOUR relationship. And she has issues on dealing with her issues. Shrek-like onion layers on issues?

You said that she is changing. Why? And why won't she talk to you about things? If you've never given her reason not to trust you, then she should trust you now. But she's not.

So, are you willing to put up with this drama? Another option is to tell her what you told us - that you are confused and uncomfortable with the situation.

-PP