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Thread: ok my male friends would just tell me to man up and have sex wit this girl what do yo

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    2

    ok my male friends would just tell me to man up and have sex wit this girl what do yo

    OK this going to sound so stupid but I cant talk to my male buddies about it cause they will think Im gay, and any of my female friends will think im pathetic....

    so I met this beautiful girl in June while I was back home, we met up every time I was back home (which wasnt very often) we got on so well and she came to visit me in the city last week, we went out and had a great night. we got some chips and went back to eat them at mine. anyway I had presumed she was like a virgin but the opposite was true, she was having sex since she 17! see I know how silly this sounds even typing it is making me cringe because I am not a virgin either but I cant stop thinking about another guy having his hand on her.... Its pure macho man insecurity jealousy and it really hurts! I have never felt like this before! dont know what to

    I presumed she was a virgin she comes across as it but obviously not! we have not had sex yet but I dont know if I can cope with these feelings, I am considering calling it a day, and stopping it going any further cause if I feel any more for her it will probably hurt me even more.

    aw I dont even know wat im trying to say, its obviously a little deeper than how I can express it in words on here, all I know is its not a nice feeling! any idea how to deal with this?

    I know pure jealous masculinity BS but I cant help it and i dont know what to do..

    I think the main problem is my first and only other proper girlfriend was a virgin and planned on being so until marriage, I loved her a lot and knew that if we ever did get married she would have only been mine. I went out with her for two years

    im 24 the new girl is 21

    should I have sex with her? should I call it a day and move on? how do I stop these feelings?

    I have had other short term girl friends and have been on lots of dates but I didnt feel like this about any of them.

    I duno hope someone here can make sense of this cause i certainly cannot! maybe i should go see a psychiatrist lol

    Thanks guys

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    I don't want to ruin your hopes, but you will rarely find a girl over 20 who's a virgin. So if you can't cope with your current one, moving on will only take your problems to your next relation. Intellectually you know full well why you have these feelings, so just try to build up your self esteem. If she likes you that much, you can leave the jealousy, and just enjoy being with her. Just because she was with someone else doesn't mean she won't be fully yours from now on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Her past is her past - it's been and gone. How would you feel is she dumped you because you're not a virgin. You need to deal with this insecurity - one way or another.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    From now on, you must live by a don't ask/don't tell policy. Since you can't handle the truth, you must avoid knowing the truth. Don't ask women about their past anymore, just focus on the present and the future.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    597
    Get over the fact she's had sex . . usually by 20 most people have had sex.

    And think about this, she is the summation of life experiences till now - virgin or not, you still like her now, don't you? That's kinda all that matters right now.

    If it's really too much for you to handle, find a virgin.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Only you know how it makes you feel and what you should do. To some it is a petty issue and to others it is important. Don't torture yourself though. Don't believe ignorance is bliss either, look at a dog...so happy..but who cares as it is so oblivious to the world around him. Be yourself, if this bothers you enough to start to resent her then break it off because it may hurt her in the process as well if you drag it on. If you can get over it then do. To me it sounds like you want to get over it and just want people to confirm it here so you can have support. If she is worth staying for I can not know, I don't know her personality or character.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

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