Totally Confused...

[B-Confused...]

I'm just totally lost at the moment.
I had a huge fight with my boyfriend. These are getting gradually more constant, and 9 times out of 10 it's about work!
This might no sound so bad until you find out that I work with my dad whos the boss.
Ive been seeing my guy for almost 4 years and no progress has been made on the family front, only because they were a bunch of a**holes and judged him before they got to know him.
There is a 20 year age gap although you can't tell. Sometimes i ask myself how old he really is.

I love him to death but it's all getting too much for me.
I just want someone who can get along with my family, will hang with me and my friends...
I haven't met even 1 of his friends in the 4 years weve been together...
He suffers from depression and the things I see as no big deal blow out into major, major issues.

i don't know what to do or who to turn to.
I dont know if i could leave him...
But I am starting to lose my mind... I even hypoventilated tonight I was that upset...
Any ideas??

[Agape]

how often you do you fight?

20 year age gap? Haven't met his family? Haven't met his friends? He has depression and he turns minor things into major things . . . these are not good signs

Do you have a future with this guy?

[B-Confused...]

I've met his family and they couldnt be nicer people... Ive spoken to my parents about the age gap and theyre fine with it now, but he seems to think that everybody is againt him.
I'm pretty sure this is the depression but every single thing that goes wrong is such a major incident and I'm wearing thin...

Work is probably the number one thing we fight about. We live away from home 6 days a week, so only having the short amount of time at actual home is wearing him out. He hates the traveling.
My dad is one of the bosses where we work and it seems if thing dont go the way he wants, its up to me to say something or do something...
Although i do see why he gets like this because work is very unfair in ways of favoring certain people. Ie: One guy is best mates with the main boss man and gets all the good jobs etc.

I'm just at a loss at how to try to communicate with him or try to help??
All Im hearing from him is how hard it is for him and nobody stands up for him and i wouldnt know what its like at work because I'm the bosses daughter. It drives me insane!
He doesnt understand the way it hurts me when all this is said EVERY time something about work comes up, and how i react when he comes home in a bad mood.

Im a very emotional person and I cry ALOT! I know this isnt how a normal relationship is meant to be but when things are good between us theyre amazing...
Even between all the arguments he is a very loving person... I guess thats why this is such a hard decision...
I just dont know what to do anymore...

I cant seem to make his life any better to live and in the meanwhile my quality of life is down in the gutter...

[MerryH]

Have you spoken to him about leaving work issues at work and not bringing them home? Have you asked him to stop blaming work stuff on you? Work and home need to be separate.

[B-Confused...]

its hard to keep them seperate when theres family at work too...
I think if he could wolrk somewhere else away from all of the crap things might be better, but he wont leave because its the only work he can get thats close to home.

I think Im one for taking things too personally too, like he can be venting about work letting off steam and i start getting it into my head that hes having a go at me...

[doppelgaenger]

It sounds like there is too much baggage on your plate. Are you sure that fighting over work isn't the only issue you have? Cause it sure doesn't sound like that's all.
You say you want to date someone who gets along with your family and all that. Why don't you just break up and find someone who can make ya happy?

[B-Confused...]

Theres more than just work issues yeah...

its sounding like im answering my own questions here but i dont want to leave him...

[Agape]

Theres more than just work issues yeah...

its sounding like im answering my own questions here but i dont want to leave him...

That's the best advice possible . . . it's almost like the Socratic method, ultimately it's up for you to decide anyways.

Focus on this quote "I cant seem to make his life any better to live and in the meanwhile my quality of life is down in the gutter" . . . is the relationship going anywhere? is it worth it?

[B-Confused...]

We're off on an overseas holiday in 2 weeks time...
I guess I'll see how that goes and go from there when I get back...
I wish things were better... Thanks for the insight though. Is good to hear from people that have no judgements of either person...

I don't just want to give up, I want to fix things. Maybe couples counseling is worth a try before I walk away...