How much younger and older?

[sarah91]

From a man's point of view, how young and how much older would you date in purpes for "the real deal".

[VincenzoG91]

Although I'm willing to have sex with any attractive women who are at least 18, my range is slightly more narrow for serious dating purposes. The oldest that I ever dated was a woman who was 10 years older, and I stopped seeing her because she wasn't willing to go exclusive after we had been dating for nearly two months. The youngest I have dated is my current girlfriend, who is 15 years younger than me. We've been together for over 7 years now.

[sarah91]

oh, cool. How old are you and your current girlfriend now?

[VincenzoG91]

I'm 45 and she is 30.

[sparkle_jello]

I'm 45 and she is 30.

Just out of curiosity, you've been together for 7 years and she's not your fiance, or wife. I'm not opposed to this, but I'm interested in if you are just waiting, she isn't the one and you know this, or if you are just not the type to ever get married.

I ask this because all of my guy friends seem to be on a hunt for a wife after 30. More of my guy friends want kids than my girl friends. It's an interesting trend.

[VincenzoG91]

S-J,

I am the type to get married, but I have waited a long time to make sure that she is the one. I would rather be single than marry the wrong woman.

The first couple of years together were rocky, as both of our lives were going through turmoil. My career went through a rough patch, and she had to go through two rounds of surgery in less than a year. She needed a lot of help from me during that time period, and it came at a great cost and an inconvenient time. Our relationship survived, but there were some doubts on both our parts. We moved in together three years ago and the relationship got stronger. I finally asked her to marry me earlier this year, and it turned out to be a rare case where the woman had the cold feet. We broke up for two weeks and then got back together and have stayed together since. We get along even better than ever, and I'm going to ask her again in a few months. She does want to get married and have kids, but felt overwhelmed by the prospect of actually getting married while still in college.

That said, I don't actually want to marry her just yet, for specific financial reasons. She already has $50K in student loan debt, and I'm planning to buy a house next year, so I don't want her student loan debt to drag down my credit score at this critical juncture. And after she finally gets her bachelors degree next spring, she wants to get a masters degree which will probably cost her another $20K and another two years of her life. I know that we could get engaged but still wait on marriage for a while, but she wants to wait until she is done with school. Besides, she wants a fancy Bridezilla wedding, but understands that we can't afford that until after I get the house.

Of course our age difference has been a factor. I'm a fitness freak, so I look really young for my age. These days, people usually guess that I'm in my early 30s, and when she first met me, she assumed that I was about 30. I told her how old I was before we even met face-to-face, but it just didn't register in her mind. Around the time we moved in together, the age difference started to bother her. But now that she is 30, it seems to be a non-issue.

[sparkle_jello]

It sounds like a good situation for you. I don't think your age is a big factor, I'm 28 and if single would date a 45 year old. Actually, I've always been with younger guys so it might be a good learning experience. I think the biggest problem I would have with age difference is I don't want to outlive my husband. I don't want to have to lose the one I love, if I had it my way I'd die and then my husband would die like two days after me.

I would definitely buy a house in the near future while the prices are still low, they may not be as low in the future.

[VincenzoG91]

It sounds like a good situation for you. I don't think your age is a big factor, I'm 28 and if single would date a 45 year old. Actually, I've always been with younger guys so it might be a good learning experience. I think the biggest problem I would have with age difference is I don't want to outlive my husband. I don't want to have to lose the one I love, if I had it my way I'd die and then my husband would die like two days after me.

I would definitely buy a house in the near future while the prices are still low, they may not be as low in the future.

I've pondered the outliving thing a little, but all I can do is exercise regularly and eat right, while my girlfriend exercises less regularly and eats less healthy. Maybe we will drop dead together.

Everybody thought that I waited too long to buy a house, until the market fell down hard two years ago. The local housing prices are almost down to what I consider a fair and reasonable level, and there are still plenty of homes headed for foreclosure, so I think that next year will be the right time. Assuming everything stays on track, I will pay off the house in 15 years, while my girlfriend pays off her student loans and hopefully saves some money.

Back to the original post... the main reason why age often matters is that people's priorities tend to be different at different times in their lives. Extremely different. But two specific individuals might be at the same stage despite an age difference.

[sparkle_jello]

I've pondered the outliving thing a little, but all I can do is exercise regularly and eat right, while my girlfriend exercises less regularly and eats less healthy. Maybe we will drop dead together.

Everybody thought that I waited too long to buy a house, until the market fell down hard two years ago. The local housing prices are almost down to what I consider a fair and reasonable level, and there are still plenty of homes headed for foreclosure, so I think that next year will be the right time. Assuming everything stays on track, I will pay off the house in 15 years, while my girlfriend pays off her student loans and hopefully saves some money.

Back to the original post... the main reason why age often matters is that people's priorities tend to be different at different times in their lives. Extremely different. But two specific individuals might be at the same stage despite an age difference.

I don't think you waited too long, but you definitely shouldn't wait much longer. Truth is, they could end up going down even further, we just don't know. I've had three houses in 7 years, the first I made huge profit on, the second I lost just a little, and now I'm in a house that's nice, but I didn't plan the layout well. Don't make the same mistake I did... I wanted my daughter to have everything I didn't as a child. In my guest rooms I got walk in closets and made larger bedrooms... I really wish I had instead made more room for entertainment because now when I have more than 6 people over it's just not comfortable.

I'm counting on my husband's asian genes to get him to outlive me. I'm two years older than him, and the women in my family live forever... freakin' ridiculous. I don't want to die young, I but I don't want to live to be old... painfully old that is.

[girl68]

My finace is 33 and I'm 26 we've been together for almost 4 years. So for us it's only 7 years but 4 years ago 7 years was a lot. He likes that I'm young enough to keep him younger at heart because he keeps up with me in some aspects of life and he enjoys doing that.

[Only-virgins]

I tried dating an 18 year old recently. I'm in my late 20's. After seeing what she is like as far as serious dating goes my rule is 21+ now. I'll have sex with 18+ though.

[doppelgaenger]

I'm 21. I'd date from 18 to 28 years old.

[Charlie Boy II]

I'm 27, my girlfriend is 20.

That's about as low as I'd go age-wise and normally I'd consider that even a bit young for a girlfriend. But it's been working really well.

She's young so she just wants to have fun. I like that. Girls my age are focused on career and settling down. I'm focused on my career but I don't necessarily want a partner who is.

Plus younger girls are hot!

[lyle0729]

This is off topic, but why do you say that "younger girls are hot"? What is it about older women that make them not as "hot"?

I have a huge fear of a man trading me in for a woman who is younger than I am once I am in my middle ages because I might not just be as youthful (in many ways) anymore. Was this the case at all when you decided to date someone younger than you are? That you wanted someone who looked and acted younger? :/

[VincenzoG91]

This is off topic, but why do you say that "younger girls are hot"? What is it about older women that make them not as "hot"?

I have a huge fear of a man trading me in for a woman who is younger than I am once I am in my middle ages because I might not just be as youthful (in many ways) anymore. Was this the case at all when you decided to date someone younger than you are? That you wanted someone who looked and acted younger? :/

Younger women are just more physically attractive. As people (of either gender) age, time and gravity take their toll. Hair dries out, flesh sags and wrinkles, skin gets drier and rougher, etc. That said, older women tend to be easier to get along with. They have had more life experience and have better social skills.