Hurt yet relieved

[ThisCharmedWoma]

I am 18, and bisexual and for the past 3 years and 10 months i was in a relationship with another female, started young obviously as i just wanted to see what it was like because at 14 i knew i wasnt straight, the longer the relationship went on the more serious it got.
She was brilliant, loved me for who i was, i trusted her and most of all she told me she wanted to be with me forever. I believed this, stupid i know.
She lives up north because she is at uni but during the summer she goes home to her parents, this meant we werent seeing each other a lot and i think this is where the problems started.
I started to think i didnt love her and that i didnt want to be with her. Until she told me she wanted a break and accepted it thinking it was what i wanted too. The first few days i was fine but after that i went into complete breakdown, crying all the time. In the end she decided we would give it another go and hopefully her feeling of not wanting to be with me would go away. She gave it a week. And it didnt go away. We then split up again, and i must admit i am feeling a lot better about it because when we got back together briefly i was unhappy, always worrying whether she was happy, worrying about what she would decide and i stopped trusting her.
So when she said it wasnt working i cried and was obviously upset but relieved.
I knew it was for the best because neither of us was happy, i have a good group of friends, my family are supportive and i have a good job so its not like nothing in life is going my way. But i cant stand the thought of her going with someone else or even starting a new relationship, it is jealousy which is getting me down.
I am used to being in a relationship with her and im finding it hard to adjust to life without her.

So any advice would be nice and appreciated

[Agape]

"I knew it was for the best because neither of us was happy, i have a good group of friends, my family are supportive and i have a good job so its not like nothing in life is going my way."

Focus on these things, these things will help keep your mind occupied. . . . as for the jealousy, well, is this your ?first? relationship? The jealous phase after breaking up for the first time is something we all go through. You'll learn methods of coping

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Ya, that J is a killer in d heart and soul. But, in time .. it will fade and ull go on ya. Nway, good luck.

[ThisCharmedWoma]

Not my first relationship no, but its my first love. Definitely.