Worried I'm going to end up the "friend" guy

[finalgoldennote]

I'm 21 and in college, and I've never had a girlfriend. I've talked to many girls, and even become close friends with several, but it seems like every time I get close enough to develop feelings for one of them, they always tell me they are just interested in being friends. Even in high school this happened to me, but it's gotten even worse now that I'm in college. I'm worried that every girl I end up getting close to will tell me that she just doesn't see me that way.I know not every girl is going to want to date me, but can't help but think I should have found one by now.

I'm naturally a nice guy, polite and a good listener (I've been told this, I'm not just giving my opinion of myself), so girls have no problem being friends with me, it just seems like I can never find anyone who wants to be something more.
The reason why I'm asking is that I recently met another girl who I've started to take a liking to. But I'm worried that I'm just getting myself into another round of heartache because the same thing will happen as it always has.

What am I doing wrong that makes all these girls just think of me as a friend?

[SoCalGirl86]

I don't think your doing anything wrong, just the right girl hasn't come along yet. Your only 21 and in college, just focus on school for now, in time you will find the right girl or the right girl will find you. Probably not the one to be saying that given that I am only 24, a mom, married and going to college, lol. I wish I would have followed my own advice.

[all alone]

Alright, you need to start approaching things differently. I used to be like that as well when I was in high school and such, but you really need to distinguish how you approach someone your potentially interested in and someone who you have only platonic goals. You can still be friendly old you, but there are certain differences in your actions. For example, you'll need to learn how to be a little more flirty with those girls and learn to read their reactions, if they are into you, etc. It sounds much more complicated then it really is, you just need to the balls to go through with it. Shes not interested?.. fine no problem, keep being friendly/polite and then move on to the next lucky lady.

Now once you have met someone how do you make sure you head down the right path?.. we first of all, when you hang out with them is important. If you're just at school or in a large social group, it can easily be interpreted as friendship attempt by girls. So how do you change that?.. Do something simple. Forget about some big date or wtv, just ask her one to if she'd like to go out for coffee so you can get that type of one on one time. You probably won't even call it a date, you're just "hanging out", 1 on 1 with the girl. You get good contact and interaction without all the fuss and what not of point blank asking her out to dinner or wtv. And, gives much more sense intimacy then hanging out with 10 other friends. T

This is just a couple quick examples, but you just got to put a little more into it. Lot of girls won't be interested thats fine, but there are many who will be you just gotta find them. Make sure you're not a douche or anything, be polite and respect and most of all just read their vibes and if they are reciprocating what your throwing at them.

[Spoonandfork]

- how many girls have you asked out before you two became friends? The whole point of dating is to get to know someone - not to date your friend
- how many girls have you gone in for a kiss without asking? Boys sit there and twiddle their thumbs; men take control of the situation
- how many girls have you engaged in banter with? Boys put girls on a pedestal but men aren't afraid to knock them off
- how many times have girls complimented you on the way you dress? Girls love a man who dresses sharp
- how many girls have complimented your body? Girls are attracted to men with masculine bodies - not pubescent boys

[Spoonandfork]

I don't think your doing anything wrong, just the right girl hasn't come along yet. Your only 21 and in college, just focus on school for now, in time you will find the right girl or the right girl will find you. Probably not the one to be saying that given that I am only 24, a mom, married and going to college, lol. I wish I would have followed my own advice.

horrible advice. If a guy is 21 y/o and never been with a female, don't tell him there's nothing wrong with his approach to women

[SoCalGirl86]

horrible advice. If a guy is 21 y/o and never been with a female, don't tell him there's nothing wrong with his approach to women

Well sorry for giving my opinion, i feel people just need to be them selves, they don't have to conform the the dang standards society gives.

[Spoonandfork]

Well sorry for giving my opinion, i feel people just need to be them selves, they don't have to conform the the dang standards society gives.

it's not about conforming. I'm giving the OP advice to improve himself. You're suggesting he become complacent with mediocrity, which is counter-productive if he wants to become more successful with girls

[Agape]

have you given any indication that you want to be more than friends? and if so, when do you do this? . . . most likely you wait too long