To get back with my EX GF or not? Help!

[The_Greek]

So My GF and i broke up in Aug. after 3 years and 10 months and i found out a few weeks after she broke up with me to "talk" to my supposed to be best friend. He manipulated the situation and basically took her from me. We broke up because we were not happy all the time, so he used that to his advantage. He knew i still wanted to be with her and behind my back was talking to her and telling her to move on and she can do better. Things along those lines, I found out from her. So since we broke up i haven't spoken to her at all, removed her from my Facebook and deleted all pics. Basically did the usual stuff to get over an EX. I have been going out A LOT, have had sexual relations with a few women since our break up.

Well skip forward 3 weeks ago, we were both at a dinner function and saw each other. I kept away out of respect to her as she told me to leave her alone when we broke up and she wanted space. She came up to me and said hi before she left and chatted for about a minute. That was on a Sat. on Wed. a few day s later i asked her out to lunch and she accepted and we ate lunch and walked around for a bit... a total of 3 hours. Then this past weekend i went to Dallas,TX which i told her about and she txted me before i got on the plane to have a safe trip and have fun. Word going around is she is pretty lonely and only hanging out with her best friend. I would love to try working on the relationship again but do not want to put my self out there. I still love her to death and care about her more than anyone else. At this point im pretty much moved on, i dont think about her day to day, its actually pretty rare for me to think about her and when i was with her for lunch i didnt have butterflies or anything.

I would like everyones advice on this, and what i should do. I know i left some details out, i just didnt want to type to much. If you think i should get back with her how should i do it?

[MerryH]

I would worry about the same thing happening again (her being manipulated into breaking up with you.) I'm sure there were other problems too, but she wasn't willing to work them out with you then. Can you be sure she'd be willing now?

And you did all the difficult but correct things to get over her. I'm sure it was hard, but you pretty much did it. It would suck to have to do that all over again if things don't work out. : (

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If you really want her then you should give her another chance, but don't initiate anything further, make her do all the work.

[p1vo]

I'd stay away and move on. Everyone has a different opinion on dealing with ex's. Mine is that they are an 'ex' for a reason. I've ended 90% of my 'relationships', whether it be after one date, a few months or three years.
If I broke up with them it was because of a reason (i.e. trust, cheating, just not interested, etc) and if they ended it with me again it was for a reason.

I had been tempted to contact them (knowing that they would jump at the chance - without meaning to be/sound big headed) but have always stopped myself. Even when I thought there is no one else out there for me.
But if you can resist the urge and stay strong then you will meet someone else, just like I have.

Some people (including me) believe everything happens for a reason, it's my opinion that if something doesn't work out it doesn't work out, and you move on.

[Agape]

"i found out a few weeks after she broke up with me to "talk" to my supposed to be best friend. He manipulated the situation and basically took her from me. We broke up because we were not happy all the time, so he used that to his advantage. He knew i still wanted to be with her and behind my back was talking to her and telling her to move on and she can do better."

So your friend is a manipulator and your ex is an easily tricked girl . . . I'd suggest you leave both of them, seriously, nearly 4 years broken up in a few weeks?! . . .if it happened once it could happen again

"At this point im pretty much moved on, i dont think about her day to day, its actually pretty rare for me to think about her and when i was with her for lunch i didnt have butterflies or anything. "

I suggest continue on with this and move on . . . find a new committed girl and get a new best friend