Jealousy/Insecurities/Facebook

[Jman39]

Hey guys, I have been skimming some threads and I really like this website, and to tell you the truth, its my way of "self-help"/therapy.

Background info:
Im male, 24. Dating my gf for a year, who is 18 almost 19. Im Asian/christian, she is european/muslim. Go to same school. My 2nd gf, and im her first bf.


Well Id like to start by saying that Ive grown up feeling insecure about many things. Up until my late teens, i really didnt know it would really effect me. But as I get older, I realize its a BIG issue, and need it to go away.

My gf is "gorgeous." To but it bluntly, she has the model look. I know I shouldnt put her on a pedastal, but i would be lying if I said i didnt feel lucky to have her.

Things for the most part have been good, but ive been getting really jealous lately. For example: there is this one boy who she had a crush on before me, and now she talks to him all the time (through webcam, facebook, etc...) He lives in a diff country, but I know if distnace wasnt an issue, they would most likely be dating.
Her phone also contains pictures of other guys with their shirts off showing off their abs and what not.
And shes even told me that Im not "typically her type"

I realize she is still young, as am I, so I do understand that.
Its just I have this urge to snoop her facebook. My fear ISNT that she is going to cheat on me. I trust her 100% there, as she constantly reassures me that shes never been so in love with me. My true FEAR is that someone who is better than me, aka someone who is her type, will sway her heart away towards him.

For the majority of our relationship- i never showed the slightest bit of jealousy, i even encouraged her to hang out with her guy friends, and flirting was fine as long as it was innocent. It just got so bad that at one point I confronted her about it. I didnt yell, but I just told her I was feeling jealous. (not sure if its a good idea since now this makes me look insecure and lacking confidence, which i know girls HATE).

Simply put- how do i regain my sack back. I feel like such a douche and such a loser for wasting my time and getting hurt over waht may potentially happen. I just wanna get better, cus these jealous thoughts are really hurting me, especially my sleep!

Any of you guys going through a similar situation?

[Agape]

"i even encouraged her to hang out with her guy friends, and flirting was fine as long as it was innocent. It just got so bad that at one point I confronted her about it."

Could you expand on this? . . . sounds like you like her to have her friendly fun - but not too much friendly fun . . .what made you feel scared? That other guys were 'better off'?

I think the main problem is that you two don't have enough trust, you need to work on that - sounds like you both respect each other, that's good.

btw, there will always be other guys and there will always be other girls for you . . .it's a natural feeling.

[Jman39]

I started this relationship with the mentality that I was really confident. I had just gotten out of a relationship 5months previous to her... and I ended things cus I knew I could do better.
So with my new gf(current), i DID NOT want to be that control freak, give her the freedom. Ive always heard, "the best leash is a loose one." So I told her she could go hang out with other guys and friendly flirt. But, once I started to REALLY fall for this girl, about 8 months into the relationship, its been bugging me cus shes talking to her ex crushes. to top it off, she said "ur not really my type" and how her ex crush "is exactly her type." Kind of an ego hit on my side. Makes me feel insecure and jealous.

truth is, i know she loves me, but i just fear that if things get bad or boring between the 2 of us, she will go run to him... its like she has a backup plan in my mind.