Not sure what to think or do or expect

[sameold]

Hey all. This is my first post here so first of all hello to everyone.

I thought I would try get some feedback on the last relationship I got into and where people might think it might head or any advice really.

OK I met a girl and instantly we connected, we literally hit it off straight away. She was just breaking up with her boyfriend - whom I might add hit her and cheated on her many times.

She met me and he said she was blown away and how amazing I was and blah blah blah... for 2 weeks things were fantastic and she even told me she was falling for me and said the nicest things.

Then all of a sudden she wants to take time out for herself to stand on her own two feet.

I was stumped... I didnt understand and still dont. She continues to say nice things but wants to be alone.... a week into our relationship she was saying she was never going to let me go!

Any ideas? advice?

She said she needs time to be alone and thats what I am going to give her.... BUT... the question is if we will get back together.

Any advice on what I should do? I really like this girl and yes I started falling for her etc..

Any ideas? advice? tips?

[Incognito]

It is possible that she realized that she shouldn't have jumped into another relationship so soon and wants to have some time to get herself together. It is also possible that her ex showed up and is sweet talking her into going back with him. Unfortunately many abuse victims have trouble leaving their abusers and many return when the former abuser says that they have changed. I'm not saying that IS what is going on, but it is a possibility. You can't force anything here, so I'd just keep in contact for a few weeks to see what is going on with her, and if nothing happens ask her what the deal is. If nothing changes after a little bit more time just move on.

[justcheckin]

you were her ticket out of her bad relationship. She jumped on it, rode that train for a while, and then once reality sunk in she started to back off a bit to see if it is what she really wants. You gotta take it slow now, if you push her it will just do more harm then good. She feels rushed.

[Agape]

"She was just breaking up with her boyfriend - whom I might add hit her and cheated on her many times."

Key words are "JUST BREAKING UP" . . . it might have been going on a bit too fast

[sameold]

Thanks!

Yep I have considered all of this, especially the going back to her ex part.

Agree I need to slow play this but what should I do. I am basically going to follow a no contact scenario for awhile so she knows im not there "on tap" when shit goes wrong in her life, make her appreciate me a bit.

I dunno, what you all think?

It's simple push/pull theory but not sure if I should push her away so hard due tot he circumstances...

Any ideas on how to play this?

[Incognito]

I said before, just keep casual contact for a little while. If things don't get better then cut her off. If you want to be with her though going for no contact to get her attention is not the way to go. If anything that will push her back to her ex.

[sparkle_jello]

I think I know the issue, because many women fall into it. Some women are only happy when they are in a bad relationship. I know this sounds weird, but some women like being a victim. When they are in a relationship where the man treats them well, even though they should be happy, they can't. Some people MUST have something to complain about, or have people feel sorry for them for. There are people out there, mostly women, that will go so far as to fake cancer, or make themselves physically ill for attention, and hurt their bodies doing so... this is the extreme of this kind of behavior.