Sweet revenge ?

**TomerT** · 23-10-10, 02:38 PM

Hi all,
Your opinion very appreciated:

First of all, I would like to make it clear - I am not a "bad" or mean person. I consider myself as a decent man. But for some reason I want some revenge to my x-gf . I want her to be really sorry about
(1) the fact that she dumped me (it wasn't even a "dump", it was treating me like a piece of sh*t for no reason whatsoever)
(2) the way she did it. In short - she left for a vacation to her country (with my encouragement) 6 week later came back pregnant from her X. We talked over phone once, where she said she is sorry (of course), she don't understand how it happened, she is considering an abortion - what do I think bout it, will I take her back, blah blah, blah... After that she tried to call me several times - I just blocked her number, cause I was sick of her empty words. I wanted her to come and talk to my face and not hide behind the phone if she really serious an want to try to fix something. Amn't I right ?
Anyway, we already 22 days complete NC (I have no idea about her life, she doesn't know about mine). I do believe that eventually she will show up.
To be frank, may be few weeks ago I would take her back and try to fix thing. Currently, after reading many threads here, I am realizing, this relationship was "doomed' from the beginning and there is no chance us to become a happily marry couple (Until death do us part)...no matter what she will do now...(and yes, we were talking about moving in together, marriage, kids, house..the usual "small talk")
I was in so much pain lately...Really, I could physically feel it. I still wasting a lot of my time and energy thinking about her... although we live really near (5-10 mins apart) I do my best to avoid her neighbourhood and not to meet her even by chance...Also I blocked her phone number. But, I do believe that eventually she will show up and ask for a second chance, I almost sure (when she wants - she knows how to find me, she did it before) and I want to be ready...I can think about two options:
1) Date her, sleep with her and then next day disappear from her life - like she did for me.
2) Date her, when it will come to sex, when we both naked - just say that I don't find her attractive any more. sorry..let's be friends (to be frank, once I considered her to be super sexy)... I can control my self (this also something she liked about me), even if she will be completely over me....

What do you think ? Is it so bad ?

**IncognitoSir** · 23-10-10, 02:57 PM

Well, yeah, it's kinda bad. I'd be super pissed if a chick did that to me, BUT whatever you do to her it's not gonna bring your relationship back. Plus, she's preggo by her X. I think an abortion or knowing that her new born child is a reflection of her poor choice in life to be a cheater will suffice as your revenge. I say pass on the revenge. (can't believe I said it)

**cheeky&sexy** · 23-10-10, 03:06 PM

yeah i kinda have to agree with the above poster. while u have every right to be pissed, things r bad enough for her now and what happened is already going to follow her around for the rest of her life. what if she purposely harmed herself or commit suicide after u got your revenge by making things even worse? u would not want that on your conscience. just realised this was in the ask a male section lol oops.

**Agape** · 23-10-10, 04:18 PM

Option 3) Do nothing and forget about her, act like she doesn't exist - no reciprocation of her interest, no initiation of your interest . . . don't give her attention by giving enacting revenge

**Str!ke** · 23-10-10, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Agape

Option 3) Do nothing and forget about her, act like she doesn't exist - no reciprocation of her interest, no initiation of your interest . . . don't give her attention by giving enacting revenge

i agree with that
you have to move on she isn`t the kind of girl you want in your life
and when you think in revenge she will be always in your mind
consider her like a page in your book and you take off.you will meet someone else and forget her

**TomerT** · 23-10-10, 04:40 PM

Of course I don't wish her any physical harm, but I do want to see her (emotionally) suffering.
I don't believe I just said it out-loud....After that I may consider to be her friend...Am I so bad ?

I still crying and have trouble to conduct a normal life. The damage she did for my future relationships is for many years - I can not see myself being in love and trust someone so soon....

**oneandonly** · 24-10-10, 02:58 AM

Originally Posted by TomerT

Of course I don't wish her any physical harm, but I do want to see her (emotionally) suffering.
I don't believe I just said it out-loud....After that I may consider to be her friend...Am I so bad ?

I still crying and have trouble to conduct a normal life. The damage she did for my future relationships is for many years - I can not see myself being in love and trust someone so soon....

Only if you let it. Whatever course of action you take, the choice is yours, not anyone else. Don't try to pin it all down to her.

Get a grip.

If you loved her as much as you claimed to have, a pathetic idea like revenge shouldn't cross your mind. Is that how much you loved her? No matter how wonderful you were to her or no matter how much you think there was no problem whatsoever between you two (at least to you), she didn't feel exactly the same, did she? Her action shows that.

Why is it so hard to let go of it especially when she's pregnant with other man? That should be more than sufficient to get the hell out of her life FOREVER!

You know what Karma is, right? She will have her share of it with or without you. Let her be.

Stop obsessing over her. I'm sorry but I've never read so pathetic threads over and over especailly from a man!!!

**TomerT** · 24-10-10, 03:05 AM

I never been so humiliated and brought so down in my life...Probably I even don't know how to cope with it...Thank you all anyway...
You made an amazing job, to "bring me to the surface"...

**Petit Papillon** · 24-10-10, 03:34 AM

You really can't let go.. Is it like 10th thread about the same problem?

**TomerT** · 24-10-10, 07:11 AM

What is the "normal" span time to "let it go" in this kind of situation - 3 days, 1 week, 2 weeks ????
For me it's only 3 weeks since we complete NC.

I read other threads - sometimes people cope with their loss for months and even years...
So may be I am not doing so bad ?
Yes, I am weeping here - but she has no idea what I am going through...

**TomerT** · 24-10-10, 07:22 AM