Suicidal Girlfriend wont respond to phone calls or texts!

[therealjag]

Hey there,

I am stuck as to what to do. My girlfriendand I had a fall out yesterday because I went drinking at my mates flat on saturday and there were some girls there (i didnt know them or tried anything with them btw, just talked a wee bit). but she said cos i did that, she was gona do something to herself and now after hanging up on me at 8pm yesterday i havent heard from her since and ive tried texting and calling her but no reply.

i tried texting her mum late last night but i dont know if she has done anything (her mum lives separately)...

should i cal the police now? one thing i do know is that she was really tired as she'd been working but she usually goes to college on mondays so she should be awake?

Cheers for any advice,

Jag

[RdHrshyKss]

i think calling her mom was the right thing to do. i wouldn't do anything further except text her and let her know you are really worried and you need to know if she is alright. call her mom again later on in the day and ask her if she's heard from your gf...that you just want to know that she is ok. she might have just been saying that because she wants the attention (which makes her extremely unstable). if you find out that she did it just to mess with your head and make you feel guilty then i would tell her to get some help and move on. if she is going to act that crazy over you hanging out at a friends house (where there happened to be girls) then you don't even want to know how she'll be in other situations. at least you were honest, if she can't appreciate your honesty and is going to give you grief for being honest, then you should call it quits now...it will only get worse.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop all contact with her. People who are really suicidal, don't go waving it around in the air, and trying to manipulate people with it. They just do it. She is not suicidal, and next time she tells you she's going to do something to herself, tell her to go ahead. I suggest you just stop contact with her, and if you really want to hear from her, send her a text that says, "Don't call me anymore, we're done." Guarantee she calls as soon as she reads it.

[RdHrshyKss]

Stop all contact with her. People who are really suicidal, don't go waving it around in the air, and trying to manipulate people with it. They just do it. She is not suicidal, and next time she tells you she's going to do something to herself, tell her to go ahead. I suggest you just stop contact with her, and if you really want to hear from her, send her a text that says, "Don't call me anymore, we're done." Guarantee she calls as soon as she reads it.

not good advice. just recently a kid at rutgers wrote a message on facebook saying he was going to jump off the george washington bridge, and that's exactly what he did. i agree that it is extremely messed up to use it to manipulate people, but don't say that anyone and everyone who says they are going to do it is lying. i think he should contact her mother to find out that she's alright...and if she is, then i'd suggest he leave her. she obviously has some serious issues and it wouldn't be a good idea to maintain a relationship with her. she needs psychological help.

[agism]

Stop all contact with her. People who are really suicidal, don't go waving it around in the air, and trying to manipulate people with it. They just do it. She is not suicidal, and next time she tells you she's going to do something to herself, tell her to go ahead. I suggest you just stop contact with her, and if you really want to hear from her, send her a text that says, "Don't call me anymore, we're done." Guarantee she calls as soon as she reads it.

yeah this is 110% wrong. you shouldnt give out such bad advice if you dont know what you are talking about. suicidal people OFTEN talk about death, killing themselves, "ending it". while it is true that you cant predict exactly when they will attempt it (they could seem fine in the morning and then attempt in the afternoon) there is often a legit "cry for help".

this girl needs psychological help. her out of bounds jealousy is a symptom of a much deeper problem. if you care about her, try to get her psychological help (she will probably not even admit she has a problem and that its all your fault but try anyways) and then get as far away from this relationship as you can. good luck!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Sorry, I just have no tolerance or patience for suicidal people. Everyone's got problems, but most people make an attempt to deal with them in a reasonable and responsible way. If you think you have nothing to add to the world and you're going to go around and suck the life out of people that are trying their best, and you think your life isn't worth living and killing yourself is the only option, then go for it. There's plenty of people living very hard lives, that pick themselves up by their bootstraps everyday and do what they have to do. There are enough people here and resources are dwindling, so if you don't want to be here, by all means leave.

[therealjag]

this girl needs psychological help. her out of bounds jealousy is a symptom of a much deeper problem. if you care about her, try to get her psychological help (she will probably not even admit she has a problem and that its all your fault but try anyways) and then get as far away from this relationship as you can. good luck!

Thanks for all the replies guys...yeah Ive told her to go see a psychiatrist and she goes to see a councellor. Her old councellor wasnt that good in my opinion as all she would ever do is agree with my girlfriend and not offer any advice - whereas her new councellor does offer her advice. I've tried to end it a few times to be honest and she always hits out with the suicide stuff...I'll contact her mum to see if she got in touch and i'll let you's know what happens from there.

thanks

[BackUpOrGetStng]

So it's an ongoing thing too?

Break up with her, and when she hits you with it this time, call her bluff and tell her to do it. You gotta grow some balls some day, may as well be today.

[RdHrshyKss]

if this is an ongoing issue, then your past experience should be telling you that she is trying to manipulate the situation...to get you to do what she wants out of guilt or sympathy. she is obviously very insecure and needs to work on her issues. you should definitely move on. if she tells you she is going to hurt herself, then you tell her you are sorry to hear that, but that you refuse to let her manipulate you anymore. she shouldn't have to threaten you to get you to stay with her, it's an obvious sign that things just aren't working. say that to her, ask her if she thinks it's normal to threaten someone with suicide in order to get them to stay with them. tell her it's a clear sign that she is more afraid of being alone, then of not being with you. and the only way she can kick that habit completely is for her to face her fear of being alone and concentrate on getting the help she needs to build up her confidence. she has her family, she has her counselor, she isn't alone. she needs to stop avoiding her problems and actively take steps to fix them. after that, i'd limit contact with her. if she has a weak moment and contacts you, i wouldn't blatantly ignore her, but i would keep your responses short and sweet and reiterate to her that she needs to stop contacting you in order for both of you to move on. after a month or so, you shouldn't have any contact at all.

[doppelgaenger]

She probably killed herself. Celebrate!

[Agape]

you could call. . . a person's life could be at stake.

mind you if this thing happens then it's best you get out of this situation. . . she'll use suicide as a guilt trip to manipulate you into doing things.

[therealjag]

hey there,

I ended up phonin the police. was the only thing i could think off because i phoned her mum she couldnt get through and i phoned scotland nhs and they agreed i should phone the police. Anyway, the police said they spoke to her so at least she's alive...but shes blamin me now for getting in trouble from her dad cos i called the ploice (and she stays with her dad and step mum, not her real mum)....she said she was actually sleepin all that time which is why she never replied. she said the stress made her ill and feel tired...who the hell sleeps for almost 25hours, doesnt make sense!?

anyway im getting really sick and tired of all of this, i cant be bothered with it anymore...gona listen to the advice her and try to edge away - bloody driving me crazy

[Agape]

Meh. . .that's messed.

I'd say she's emotionally unstable and playing 'life-threatening' verbal-games . . . get you move on else she'll just continue this, also, she will use this situation as stuff against you

[MerryH]

She didn't reply for so long because she wanted to make you worry about her. All this over you going out with some friends? Don't just try to edge away - this girl is manipulative and insane. The only way to break up with someone so crazy is to cut all contact. Completely sever. If she ever threatens suicide again, just keep calling the police. They're more equipped to handle "suicidal" people than you are, anyway.

[FNM]

People who are really suicidal, don't go waving it around in the air, and trying to manipulate people with it. They just do it.

Sir/Madam, I thank you. That is possibly the most accurate thing I've read, ever. It's amazing how many people wave the suicide flag and then never do it. The people who are truly suicidal just do it.