"Open Relationships"

[Kacee]

Ok well we recently tried a threesome & we both had so much fun. Were both very sexually driven people... & since that we've discussed more or maybe different fun things.
A friend of ours was over & we talked and I know my Bf is into sex as a pleasure act as well as an intimacy act & for personal reasons I wasn't able to give him any for a while... So my friend & I talked about it and she was all for pleasing him. As long as I was ok with it. So him& her had sex, and allowed me to watch. I enjoyed it a lot, kind of luck live porn with two stars you know you can have... I was slightly jealous I couldn't be involved but I understood 110%
Well things have been rather dull since than. Although I can have sex now we both agree making love to each other just isn't as exciting because it's something well do forever. But it's really hard to find an understanding, willing third party.
Weve discussed maybe just messing around with other people without involving each other... We've discussed pros & cons & were kinda stuck without a decision.
Just looking for any advice, comments, or personal stories that may lead me toward one or the other?
Thanks

[Raven_Skye]

Ohh well it's a thing that if you're both willing, isn't necessarily bad. Me and my ex had such a relationship. We started with threesomes too. Some were with men, some with women, some there was also guy/guy interaction and some girl/girl, depending on what the third party wanted. Worked fine. Was great even. We also both sort of saw other people without the other being there. For me it was women, or girls then at the time since I was myself like 21. He would have loved t have been there, but since these girls were just lesbian and had no interest in him being there for such things, it was ok. However, they were known with him and came over to our house for just watching films etc. When I went out with friends (he hated to go out), I could hook up with guys, that always just stayed at kissing and a little touchy feely though because that was all I was looking for (the excitement) and I didn't feel like going home with them or diong it somewhere outside. Or in a car. Nu-uh.
For my ex, he didn't go out much like I said, and just had a gf now and then next to me, two in total, first one then the other. They also came over to our house, that was sort of MY idea, since I did want to know them, and that way I knew for sure they knew about me. Not that I thought back then he'd ever lie to me, but still. Was better for me.

This all worked fine really.. up until where he fell in love with this girl he knew online, chatted with regularly, and she came to visit once (she doesn't live in our country anymore), and a while after that they were in love, or so he said. That's one risk you always take when doing this. So be prepared, my ex also wanted the emotional connection with other girls, for me the physical aspect was enough. Weirdly enough that seems the other way around than what it usually is.

So a few years later (break up 3 years ago) I still feel like it was not a bad thing to have don, but I would have stood my ground a bit more with some things.
Some advice would be, be really sure it's what both of you want. Discuss what you're gonna do, do you tell eachother everything about the "dates" etc, about the sex maybe even? At what point do you draw the lines, where do you both get jealous? Because don't get me wrong, there will be jealousy, always no matter what you do. It's natural in a way, but no fun.
Oh and the reason for starting this might not be the best. If you do this just because sex between the two of you is not as fun anymore and gets boring, you might want to watch out with messing around with others, you might want to try and spice things up with the two of you instead. Because, if you do this, there's a chance the sex between you two might become less and less appealing, until you barely have sex at all anymore. How long have you two been together?

Good luck, have fun, but beware that when you do this, you are opening a door to either of you falling for someone else more than there would usually be a chance for.

[Poetic_Partner]

From experience, it can work, and can be good for the right people.

There can be no secrets though. None. You must both be honest and open with each other.

Second, talk about limits. What does everyone expect of each other - both the minimum you need and the most you can accept. And keep on talking - open communication is essential.

Third, be safe. Use protection or have all involved get tested.

Not for everyone, but can certainly work.

-PP

[Kacee]

Thanks to you both. Reassurance is always nice! & as for the reason I guess I should have worded better... It's not that our sex life is boring by any means, & were always trying new & different things just to make sure we never feel bored. Our sex life is great. Our reason for considering this is because we think it could make it better & also make our relationship stronger, because I feel like it shows our trust for each other & personally builds my confidence to know that he can have sex with anyone, but loves me. And no I'm not naive to think he could never fall for someone else, but I'm a big believer in if it's meant to be it'll happen, so I try not to focus on the negatives that could happen cause I don't believe I can control them.
I appreciate the advise, specially being from people who personally experienced it.