When is it okay to call my ex after a breakup,

[>brando.]

Hi there , i have never joined a forum before so this is hard for me to talk about my issues with strangers but it was advice given to me on how to get your ex back. i was with the love of my live for four months, may not seem long but we always said that we cant believe its only been this long so in my case its as if we were together for a year at least . our love for each other is like one i never experienced before ever, we did things i have never done with any one said things we have never done with any one, she even saved all my sweet text and emails , every one since we met and we saw each other virtually, seeing each other did not have a limit on it, we both believed in not putting a limit or time frame on anything , we laugh a lot, i easily make her laugh and she told me every day how much she missed me and loved me . however underneath all the millions of good things there was a big problem, fighting, we fought a lot i needed to change a few things but for three months i never made a true effort , she dosent blame me and says it was us and not me , which i true to an extent, anyways, 2 days she broke up with me , never in my life have i felt so much pain , i fell to the floor and was so weak it was difficult to walk . the only things helping me right now are online forums and you tube vids on how to get her back, this is teaching m to use counter intutive strategies to get her back, doing the opposite of anything i think is right to do, i even agreed with the breakup and i dont, i didnt agree with not being with her but supported her decision because i love her so much , we havent talked since and all he vids i have watched say NO CONTACT until i have literally become a different person, not personality but physically and mentally because after all, she was attrected to me before she kew me so i need to show her that i am not the same to get her attention again ,
so.. i know i need to wait weeks or a month to contact her while i work and focus on my self unless she calls then its okay but i cant wait around that long,

y question is is it okay to sen her a message on facebook or to even call her to say hi , i dont want her to think i am forgetting about her but i know thats what gets them back lol, it would simply be nice to chat with her , to tell her i am sorry for my initial negative reaction and that i agree with her decision and then to say something sweet and funny to have her thinking of me .

i love this woman so much . any advice helps , i truly want her back, not push her away farther

thank you

[xxazurexx]

I see nothing wrong in calling her. That is how people make up after an argument/fight isn't it? One always makes the move back and usually it is the one who is in the wrong.

[sapha1]

im in the same situation ; although ive gotten myself into a mess as i feel hes just going to let me down again.
if i could go back in time i would of just been civil and left it at that rather than what we are now which i dont even no what we are....

my advise which i would of done if i was strong enough , is cut them out and wait for them to ask how u are , that when u no there bother whether or not uve forgotten about them because if they do they will contact you , and if not then be glad u didnt waste your time or made yourself get hurt more ....

because now it like im going through the pain all over again just as i was slowely but surely holding myself together . i know its hard and now im constantly battling with myself , one minute he sends me lovely text messages nd it comes across he wants me but the next hes chilling with the girl thats making this more complicated and ignoring my texts till hes bk on his own again.

wait for her to call you and if u happen to bump into each other then be mutual and leave as it will give them alot to think about what it is they want .

[Agape]

To me . . .no contact means NO contact . . . if you need space then get some space . . . if you need to take things slower then take things slower

Basically be more precise in your language and be honest with yourself, also, follow up what you say with the proper action - if you don't then you give mixed messages and that just makes things confusing.

anyways, if you really must contact her - keep it platonic and public, maybe wait a few weeks since break up?