I'm in a really really sticky situation and I really need some advice at this point. I've gotten advice from both friends that know me with my boyfriend well, and friends that know me with this new guy (who is just a friend at this point. I definitely won't do anything while I'm with my boyfriend). Sorry, this post is extremely long.

So, first about my boyfriend. I've been dating him for almost 3 years. First 8 months we were together, year long distance, another 9 months together (living together actually), and now we've been long distance again since the beginning of summer. When we're together, we're extremely compatible and get along really well. There were no major problems living together and we compromise really well. We've planned out our entire future together right down to kid's names and I'm honestly really happy with him but there are two major things that have been bothering me about the future if I stay with him. First of all, we're from completely different cultures and continents. The cultural and languages differences aren't a problem, but we were planning on starting out in his country and maybe moving to Hawaii 10-15 years down the road (which is still a long ways to where my family lives on the east coast). I'm really close to my family and have always pictured them being in my life and in my children's lives, so this really bothers me. I've told him about it, but I can never seem to get a straight answer from him and he's always changing how long he wants to stay in his country. The next huge thing that bothers me is that the first time we were long distance, he ended up cheating on me. I broke up with him for a little bit but he went to counseling and convinced me that he really regretted it and recognized his mistake and won't do it again. I'm not the type that would usually give that sort of thing a second chance, but I really loved him and I'm still convinced that the counseling helped a lot. However, even though we overcame that there will always be some doubt in the back of my head and I know we lost something when that happened. If it was one thing (being separated from my family) or the other (the worries about being cheated on again), I could probably still happily have a future with him, but with both I'm extremely hesitant.

On top of all this, I was recently (2 months ago) introduced to a friend/roommate of one of my close guy friends. We quickly became good friends (which is odd since both of us are shy and pretty slow to make friends) and it just feels right. He's a really, really good guy. He's moral, conservative with relationships, polite, really considerate of others, and on top of being a good guy he's smart, funny, and silly/dorky in a way that I find really endearing. We got along right away, and my feelings for him have grown very quickly. My friends also think he likes me, but there's no way to be sure (except for asking him or my friend that he's rooming with) because he knows I have a boyfriend and he's not that type of guy. I get crazy butterflies around him, which makes me wonder because I NEVER got butterflies around my current boyfriend. It just kind of makes me wonder. But I also realize that I've only known him for 2 months so even though it feels like we've known each other for years, I still barely know him.

Anyways, I'm leaning towards breaking up with my boyfriend, whether or not things work out with the new guy, but it's not such an easy decision. We really do have a good relationship and we've overcome a lot and have a lot of history. It's not so easy just to throw all that away, but at the same time I'm starting to realize that I can't have what I want out of life (raising a family near my family) if I stay with him. To add to the complications, he's already gotten a ticket to come visit me in December. If I ultimately decide to break up with him, when and how do I do it? I really care for him and don't want to hurt him (although I know that's impossible... it's hurting me and I'm even the one making the decision now), especially since the plane ticket was incredibly expensive and he's going through a lot of trouble to come visit me. I definitely want him to visit either way, since he's been a huge part of my life and the ticket's nonrefundable. I'd probably wait until during/after the trip, but I really don't know what's best.

We were very close to getting engaged, but I don't even know what to do anymore. To be honest, I love both guys but in very different ways. It's also difficult because I'm close to graduating now. Before, I had my entire life planned out, moving to another country and all. But if I stay here... then what? I don't know what kind of job I can get with my degree here. Staying with my boyfriend, everything's planned and I know I'll have a good life with a job and a family of my own within the nearish future. I honestly don't know anything else. If I leave the guy I know I love who I'm happy with, I might be caught without a job for a bit, back to single when I was hoping to be married with kids within a few years. If I stay, everything will be set, and we really are great together, but I won't have my family there to share it with. I honestly feel like this might end up being a huge, defining moment in my life and it's impossible to know which is truly right because I lose something important either way.

Sorry for the super long post. Any advice will be extremely helpful.