Don't want to split up!

[Dolly_Girl]

Hi there,

basically my boyfriend and i split up a couple of weeks ago after nearly 4 years.
It came as a great shock to the system although in a way it was kind of expected. something was not quite right for a while and i know it! i always thought it was something we could work on together though.

basically, it concluded as him saying he knows he needs to be on his own right now. there have been a few times where he has questioned if he loves me or not and has brought it up. but everytime i've said to him he needs to decide because its not fair on either of us, he has turned around and got all upset saying he doesn't want to make a mistake and lose me.
he even once told me that he would just wait for me to decide what i wanted and what i think is right because he wanted the best for me, or something.

and now we have split up. we have spoken a few times on the phone, both about the breakup and generally. i dont want to completely cut him out of my life and start thinking about everything i hate about him and how much he has ruined my life etc etc.

i cant say i have accepted it, it broke my heart, but i have been carrying on with my life fine and surrounding myself with friends.

i saw him at the weekend just gone as we live apart so hadn't actually seen each other when we split.
it was so good to see him but sad at the same time. we went out for dinner and had the best time- we have always got on really well.
i ended up staying in his hotel and we ended up... you know!
he admitted he is still very attracted to me.

do you think he just needs a break and some time to himself or is this it and i need to accept it?
i try not to contact him unless he contacts me because i respect that what he needs is space.
but do you think there's a chance that after having sufficient space he wont want it anymore and come back?
or not?

x

[Agape]

I am always baffled by people who break up and don't actually break up . . . at least be honest with yourself.

Anyways, he broke up with you so if he wants a relationship then he has to come back to you. . . you don't contact him, he has to contact you

"few times where he has questioned if he loves me or not" . . . he's just confused and doesn't really know what he want. . .but 4 years, c'mon

[Dolly_Girl]

We have broken up hon. seeing him at the weekend wasn't us getting back together (i wish it had of been) it was because we hadn't actually seen eachother since before we split up. i thought it would straighten things out in my head and make it real but it didn't. it made me realise how much i love him and want him back with me.
that's why i'm posting on here, i want to know if people think if there's a chance he will start to miss me and want to come back. or if he's gone forever!
x

[girl68]

He is attracted to free ass, and you handed it to him. Yeah, he'll come back for some ass. If you want more I advise you not to give him ass.

[Applesauce]

When a guy says he needs to be on his own, it usually means he wants to nail other girls

[BreakingPoint]

He is attracted to free ass, and you handed it to him. Yeah, he'll come back for some ass. If you want more I advise you not to give him ass.

When a guy says he needs to be on his own, it usually means he wants to nail other girls

Two posts that completely say everything I was going to.

[AlphaMan]

When a guy says he needs to be on his own, it usually means he wants to nail other girls

Applesauce nails it again. Haha.

Seriously though, if you guys have to discuss whether or not you love each other or should be in a relationship, you need to LET IT GO. Relationships are supposed to be happy things where *fun stuff* happens not long dramatic "should I or shouldn't I" occurances.

[YouAreBeautiful]

I think it's probably over. If he "needs a break" after 4 -years then how many long will it take him for finally be committed. It sounds like you should find a way to move on. The longer the relationship is the harder it can be to move on and cut someone out of your life. I always advise cutting out for healing faster but in situations like this it can be complicated and near impossible to do. It sounds like you will have to find your way through this and it may take a long time because you had so much investment and emotion in the relationship. Good luck! I know you'll figure it out.