hi there, i broke the no contact rule, what do i do now? oops

[>brando.]

damnit, i have been so loyal to no contact for a week which is since my girlfriend broke up with me , and today i broke it, she had posted something as her facebook status that really sounded like she was referring to to finding someone else already,

my heart raced and i had to call and ask, i was nervous asking and showed it, i was studdering etc.. butt she was nice, she said it was a quote she saw on another page and liked it , i felt relief. however, we talked for maybe 4 minutes, typical how are you kinda thing and it wasent just me talking,

Here is my question tho, should i start calling her again to chat and see where it goes or should i leave it alone for a week or 2 , keep her guessing u know, or should i try my hardest to not even go on facebook, cus the only interest i have on it s her anyway and dont call again for a while, ?

i need this advice thanks

[thebestatit1985]

All Facebook does it cause problems.

[Cyberpunk85]

Good idea about not going on Facebook. Go out instead or read a book, there are better things to do than visit that site.

As for your girl, stop talking to her. If she misses you, she'll contact you. Never chase a woman. Ever.

[>brando.]

i wouldnt "chase her" but i knw she is the strong willed type and i am certain she wil not make contact even if she dearly wanted to , i dont want to chase after her and beg her back, i know that only makes it worse and i will loose her forever, what i want to know is if it is okay to make simple contact in a week r so , see how things are, then say i have to go , then we begin re establishing contact once again , once that is accomplished i would like to get an outing , u kno, make her laugh be myself , cool and calm , etc,, and in another week or so try to get some nice dates and go from there,

i dont think i should just wait around for months and see if she calls, i am a man and eventualy i have to try to get back the woman i love, wether or not she calls me first, i agree with giving her time and space and not begging and all that, ..

do you think my idea on how to re establish communication and build her interest again is a good plan ?, but only once i actually make positive changes in my life first ?

[spiritofjosh]

I agree cyberpunk, if she wants to talk to you, she will. I'm doing the "no contact" as we speak with my ex of 5 years and it's been like 3 weeks with no contact from her, but its getting easier which is my point. The longer you go without contact the better you will feel, and it will be that much better if she does come back. I speak through experience. Try hitting on girls on facebook.

[LailaK]

I seriously think that the "No Contact Rule" should include blocking your ex from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Foursquare, etc. If you still hare friends with them on these pages you'll just end up stalking them and being unhappy.

I got over my latest ex SUPER quick and I think it was because I literally erased him from my virtual life. It was wonderful. It's like he never existed.

[Cyberpunk85]

If you want to seriously commit to NC, then that means no contact at all--not in a week, a month, a year. She may be strong-willed and all that, but it's difficult to stop yourself from reaching out to someone you love, despite how strong-willed you are. You know this from experience, beause you are yearning for her.

If you stick with NC, two things will happen: you'll get over her and move on, or she'll think you've gotten over her and moved on and then she'll desperately try to fight for your attention.

Either way it's a win-win situation, though I'd be wary of the latter. She may just be contacting you to see if you've moved on or not. That opens the door for some problems right there. Because if you tell her no, you haven't, then she's suckered you into her little scheme, the scheme of which she wants to hold power over you. If you just brush her question off, or keep her guessing, then you're really infuriating her, and she may eventually cave in and beg for you to take her back. Of course, let's say you agree to take her back, it may only be an ephemeral tryst--because she'd have gotten what she wanted out of you, to make you feel inferior one last time, in which case she will change her Facebook status to In a Relationship with some other guy the next day. This is the psychological malestrom women love to put men through. Your best bet is to not be suckered by it, and let her wallow in her misery when she realizes that she doesn't have any power in the world over you.

Hopefully, afterword, she'll spiral into insecurity, veg out on ice cream, gain thirty pounds, sleep with sleazy men, get venereal diseases, start a drug habit, lose her house where she is forced to move onto the streets where she continues feeding her drug habit by sleeping with sleazy, diseased men for drugs, eats out of garbage cans, sleeps in a cardboard box, and one day you walk by her, arm-in-arm with a lovely young woman who has her shit together. You two exchange glances. You smile.

Chalk one up for men.

[LailaK]

Hopefully, afterword, she'll spiral into insecurity, veg out on ice cream, gain thirty pounds, sleep with sleazy men, get venereal diseases, start a drug habit, lose her house where she is forced to move onto the streets where she continues feeding her drug habit by sleeping with sleazy, diseased men for drugs, eats out of garbage cans, sleeps in a cardboard box, and one day you walk by her, arm-in-arm with a lovely young woman who has her shit together. You two exchange glances. You smile.

Bitterness is not cute. You need to get over whatever it is some bitch did to you.

[Cyberpunk85]

And I suppose you're going to the be the one who convinces me to get over THEM?

Plural. Not one bitch. All of you. It's because of you that the OP had to create this thread to begin with.

[LailaK]

And I suppose you're going to the be the one who convinces me to get over THEM?

You are wrong. I won't be the one to help you get over anyone. I can smell your baggage from here and I want no part of it.

You aren't the only person who has been hurt in this world. I've had an ex boyfriend who hit me and then proceeded to stalk me and threaten my life. I've dated guys who have lied about caring me just so they could screw me. I've dated guys who forgot to mention girlfriends and children they had at home. I've dated losers, users, and abusers but you know what? I don't blame all men in the world for the short comings those as*holes. I still believe in love and I'm still out there dating and most importantly I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF. I'm very optimistic about the future. Fortunately, I have great examples of wonderful men in my life (my dad and male friends). They're constant proof to me that not all men are crazy losers.

If you don't have any positive females in your life that prove to you that not all women are crazy, I feel sorry for you. I also wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole. I don't need the drama and headache you would provide.

[MerryH]

And I suppose you're going to the be the one who convinces me to get over THEM?

Plural. Not one bitch. All of you. It's because of you that the OP had to create this thread to begin with.

Wait, it's the fault of all women everywhere that he saw something posted on Facebook by an ex-girlfriend, spazzed out about it, then called her? It's women's fault that he's too weak-willed to stay off of her FB page and leave her alone? I don't think that's a fair statement.

[Cyberpunk85]

I still believe in love and I'm still out there dating and most importantly I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF.

[LailaK]

You should be clapping. You should be taking notes.

[MerryH]

If you want some more of my advice contact me here from the link on my signature and profile.

No, how about you keep it here rather than pulling traffic away from this forum.

[Cyberpunk85]

You should be clapping. You should be taking notes.

Not necessary. I've compliled my own notes based off of my own beats. It's more invaluable than any female vitriol you are capable of spewing.