Is 7 years of difference such a big problem?

[kev1987]

I am 23 and my girlfriend is 30.
I don't get it, is it a bad idea having an age difference of 7 years?
My parents are 6 years apart but my mom said it's okay for a guy to be older but not the other way round which seemed kind of biased to me.
Things were already not easy for my part because we are havnig a distant relationship until I can meet her next August.
So far things have been easy to handle between us. We both know that what it will be like to be seperated and we both are okay with it.
I don't understand why my mom would want to make a fuss just over some age problem.

[RdHrshyKss]

i dont see too much of a difference either. if you care about her, and are mature and her age doesn't bother you one bit, then who cares. however, if she is the type of woman who wants to have a family and children...you might have some problems.

i'm a woman, i'm 25, and at the moment i don't want to have kids. i don't want the financial burden, i don't want all the responsibility, i just want to live my life, travel, and just be free from all that. but who knows how i'll feel 5 years from now...my mind could change completely. those are really the only issues i feel would create a problem between people whose ages vary so much...especially when the woman is older: marriage and children.

[Boisdevie]

When I met my ex-wife I was 23 and she was 28 - never made any difference to me. 7 years is not a big deal

[RdHrshyKss]

When I met my ex-wife I was 23 and she was 28 - never made any difference to me. 7 years is not a big deal

why is she your ex-wife?

[vashti]

This may be a generational issue for your mom. It wasn't until very recently that women would even seriously consider dating younger males.

I think the problems you can expect will surround marriage and children, and the imbalance of income/power. Assuming you ever meet in person. And you still like each other.

[Boisdevie]

why is she your ex-wife?

She is my ex wife because she got really fat - and fat is not a turnon

[RdHrshyKss]

She is my ex wife because she got really fat - and fat is not a turnon

you divorced your wife because she gained weight? did you care enough to figure out why she gained the weight?

i wish incognito could see this...there are other reasons for divorce other than cheating!

[doppelgaenger]

I pretty much just got out of a relationship that lasted for two years and it had all the general details that yours does - she was 6 years older, it was long distance. Some people might try to justify it by saying men are more immature than women and therefore the man should be older, blah blah blah, well I find that older women are no exception, lol.

Don't let your mother's opinions bother you too much, though. After all, she is just your mom, and you're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

[Ariadne]

7 years isn't a big difference once you're into your 20s. Just be sure that, as RdHrshyKss mentioned, you're on the same page as far as marriage and kids go.

[girl68]

23 year old males are generally NOT on the marriage/ kids page.

[doppelgaenger]

Well, we're getting specific in this case. Four of my best friends are around 23 years old and already married with kids. The poster sounds like he's capable of that.

[xxazurexx]

^ Will their marriages last though? 23 is young and to be married and have kids.

I don't see several years as that big of an age gap, but I wouldn't be depending on a 23 year old guy for my future or long term happiness. And he's the last guy I'd have kids with.

[vashti]

23 year old males are generally NOT on the marriage/ kids page.

they are if they are incredibly stupid or redneck.

[girl68]

All of our friends are just starting to get married the youngest guy to marry that I know is 29. The rest are 31-35. Vashtis point proven in my eyes, they're neither stupid nor redneck.

[kev1987]

Thanks for all the feedback people!
Nah...we're not into the getting married part right now. She wants to figure out what she should be doing next right after she has gone back to her country.
For my part, I just want to graduate from college and try working in her country for a while, see whether I can fit into their society or not.
Won't be easy, but at least I have another 6 months to get prepared.
For the 'still like each other part', I'm pretty confident with our relationship since we are working out to meet each other and we already made our plans till next year~
And as for my mom, I'll just let time prove everything that I'm serious about this girl.
Hopefully I'll be able to change her way of thinking.

Thanks again!