Bad situation with girl (Reaching boiling point)

[SaxMan00]

Hello all. I need advice.

I have been very good friends with this girl for around 7+ years. Around a year ago we started sleeping at each others houses and fooling around, usually leading to 3rd base (her recieving).

We have never had sex nor has she ever given me hand or oral relief. I am about 60% sure she is a virgin, we don't talk about sex stuff.

My problem is that I really like her. She went away on holiday and ended up in a casual thing with some guy, not sure how far they went.

Days before she left I went down on her and days after she came back I went down on her. I thought ok, if someone nice looking came up to me on holiday I wouldn't say no either.

Now he has been to stay with her once and is going to live close to her and she doesn't know what to do.

I feel completely used and think she only uses me as a placeholder before she gets a boyfriend and as a mastabatory aid. I have kept doing it for so long because I enjoy it and had hopes of her returning my favors and us eventually having sex.

I'm really worried about what will happen. If she ends up in a relationship, I know we will not be good friends anymore. I really like her but realise she will never go out with me or even have sex with me. To lose one of my best friends of nearly 8 years would be heart breaking but I can see this on the horizen.

Anyone else been in this situation or have any advice?

[girl68]

OK you like her, she likes you YOU DON'T MAKE A MOVE?!

... uhhhhhhhhhhhh duh course she's moving on you've had no balls to do something about it in HOW long!?

[SaxMan00]

OK you like her, she likes you YOU DON'T MAKE A MOVE?!

... uhhhhhhhhhhhh duh course she's moving on you've had no balls to do something about it in HOW long!?

WRONG!

Of course I have made a move dummy. I told her how I felt sometime before she went on holiday and she just kinda shrugged it off and told me she was sorry and of course kept trying to get me to stay at hers every weekend!

[Jman39]

ok- ur are basically on the verge for friendzone, if not already... there is a reason why she isnt in a relationship with you, cus she "has" you without giving up her V-card.
my advice- seriously go out, see other women, and give her less attention. dont do it so abruptly, but if she wants to meet up, or hang out, say ur busy, and find something else to do. This places you higher on her scale, cus now she know she cant just "have" you whenever she needs you. Its basically a game, but you have to MAKE her realise that ur not just a toy(literally), and that she has to WORK to earn ur time. Its plain and simple- focus on things other than her, and 1 of 2 things will happen. You will find another girl, or ur friend will realize how special u are, and want you back... women have a tendency to place status above anything else. by showing her u are a busy man, with a life of ur own, and can get any other girl, will only make her want you more....


waiting around for her will NEVER happen... trust me

[leoben]

You let yourself be used, and to a girl there's nothing more repulsive then a guy who sits there and allows himself be taken advantage of like that. Of course she's going to hop over to the first respectable guy that comes along. All you can really do is learn from the experience and try not to repeat it in the future.

[SaxMan00]

ok- ur are basically on the verge for friendzone, if not already.......etc etc

This is good advice man but I think next time I see her/stay over, I'm just going to tell her how it is. This will either make or (most likely) break the situation.

I may possibly lose a very close friend but I may possibly be better off because of it. She is away with family at the moment so I have a few weeks to wait.

[Jman39]

This is good advice man but I think next time I see her/stay over, I'm just going to tell her how it is. This will either make or (most likely) break the situation.

I may possibly lose a very close friend but I may possibly be better off because of it. She is away with family at the moment so I have a few weeks to wait.

depends on ur motive tho- if u dont mind losing her, then by all means go and tell her waht u want.
but if you want to increase ur chances of getting her in a relationship with you (which i think is what u want)- i suggest what i said earlier- right now, ur just another "guy" that will give her attention. be the guy that she "needs" but cant have... it creates more attraction. there is a word : DESIRE: from greek- it means to want something u dont have. follow this motto. be of a high value and she will want you... i promise. Shes already shown she can be intimate, so u know shes at LEAST somewhat "physically" attracted to you, so you have a huge advantage there.

report back as to how this goes- im curious

[girl68]

WRONG!

Of course I have made a move dummy. I told her how I felt sometime before she went on holiday and she just kinda shrugged it off and told me she was sorry and of course kept trying to get me to stay at hers every weekend!

Umm that's a pretty important part to have left out.

Given this... she isn't interested in you for anything other than getting her rocks off. She hasn't even given YOU the time of day... (as in get you off). This means she doesn't like you.