Wedding Dress

[Nameless18]

Hi all.

I'm currently facing the most challenging and turning point of my life and I hope to hear from advices from you guys out there. Much help is appreciated.

I knew this girl V, for about 6 years plus or so but we haven't been contacting each other often till earlier this year when I heard she was going to get married in 6 months time. I met her and confessed to her how I still have feelings for her over the past few years because I did not wanna regret not telling her how I feel. She was shocked to hear that and said that I will find someone in time. Over the course of the next few months, we got closer to the point where we both fell in love.

She told me that she did not want to get married and that she agreed a year back to marry him because I wasn't there and has asked me many times to take her away. I asked her twice to think about her upcoming marriage and she said that money has been spent on the wedding dinner, downpayment for new house and invitations have been sent out to friends and relatives and she does not have courage to walk out on her wedding. I told her that she is going to spend the rest of her life with this guy and that money can always be earned back. Her fiance did mention to her that he placed her second below his business and been neglecting her cause he had to work till late and the feelings were not the same anymore. She told me that she's in with him not because she wants to but she has to due to commitment issues.

Things changed as we spent more time together as we kissed and eventually made love. I know that it is wrong of me to do so but it just happened. She felt guilty and so did I because I did not want her to suffer this feeling. She told me after that she loved me and I'm not just a replacement to him and that she loves for who I am. I was there for her and always thought of her as my no.1 and not just work like her fiance. We both know that we're not supposed to be doing this when she's getting married but feelings just got the better of us. Eventually we stopped having sex and were just satisfied with hugs and kisses. However, I cannot show her the love and care I would want to do for my loved one. When she was sick, it hurts when I can't be there to take care of her. When she goes on a holiday, I'm not the man standing beside her in the pictures taken. When we're out, we can't declare to people we're an item and cannot post pictures of us as a couple.

She'll be getting married in about 3 days time and friends have been telling me to move on and that I deserve someone better. Someone who can be there for me and take care of me. She loves me and that she says it's been hard on her as well because she do want me to be happy. When she told me to go on dates, I know she's sad that I'll be out with someone else but she cannot be selfish. She's a good person but we just happen to be stringed together by fate. She enjoys being out with me and that we always talk over the phone at night however that's going to end soon as she'll be moving in with him and his family.

It's getting harder as the days go pass and that I'm not looking forward to Friday when she'll get married to him. Deep inside, I don't want to let her go and a close friend of mine told me not to give up till the last day to fight for her. I'm lost as I know I should not pressure her so close to her wedding yet if I don't give everything, I might end up regretting not fighting for her at all. We've been having petty quarrels recently only because I feel emo about her leaving. I hate being emo but I can't help it sometime. I don't want her to go yet I have to or can I make a difference by telling her to stay with me?

Do you have any suggestions or advice I could use? Much help appreciated. Thanks once again.

[girl68]

she is a pussy.

[Nameless18]

Why'd you say that?

[girl68]

Because she KNOWS she's doing the wrong thing and refuses to be the person to take the high road and dump her fiance or cut it off with you. Therefore she is a pussy.

[Ariadne]

OP is also a pussy for putting up with her indecisive nonsense.

[Petit Papillon]

OP is a j*** for saying such thing to a woman that was about to get married. OF COURSE she will get second thoughts !! Couldn't you just find some FREE woman for yourself? There is enough on this earth.

[Poetic_Partner]

"...a close friend of mine told me not to give up till the last day to fight for her..."

So, what happens after the wedding? Does this same friend still say "don't give up - she may get divorced so keep fighting". Then first kid "hey - ready made family when they split!".

She gave up on you and has been ultimately immune to your "fighting". Sure, she may have regrets, but she's made her decision and presumably will stick to that decision for the foreseeable future.

Do your best to get on with life. It'll get easier (though still take time) after she's married.

-PP

[Nameless18]

Hi all.

Thanks for the feedback. I know I'm not the doing right thing by staying with her and hoping for a 'miracle' to happen but I guess I'm just staying for now cause she wants me as a friend. It's gonna be hard just treating her as a friend. I did ask her if she would reconsider but I guess she's still going on with it and I don't intend to pressure her anymore prior to that day. I tried my best and I don't want to leave any regrets.

I'll get on with my life and see what the future holds.