hey guys, ex advice..

[birdman16]

Hey guys, I am new here and I figured this is probably the best place to get some advice.

So me and my gf broke up 2 or 3 weeks ago( we were together for almost 3 years)

Thing is.. we broke up because I guess she was getting bored... I was always busy with school and stuff so I didn't see her much.. it got to the point where I guess neither of us were really "feeling it" anymore.. I tried my best to work it out.. but after last month she was starting to act distancy with me and didn't really look like she was into the relationship anymore... It's not like we had anything wrong..we never really had any "other guy/girl" issues.. I was just to busy..

At that point I confronted her and forced her to give me a real answer to tell me how she really felt about us... she claimed she was to scared to tell me and we got off the phone and she had EMAILEd me how she felt... to put it short.. she said things like

"I'll miss you, you're the best bf I ever had, I feel like I have to do this".. after that email I haven't talked to her since.. thing is.. I Feel like after these years I deserve a better breakup than an email.. I didn't bother trying to contact her.


Now.. heres the thing... right now I don't know what to do.. I don't even know if I want her back or not... but I'd hate to see her with another guy.. it really confuses me because I don't really want a gf.. I want to meet people and be single.. yet I want her back..and don't want her with another guy.. I feel like I'm going to regret it if I don't do anything to get her back.. she didn't do anything wrong.. my family loves her.. my friends love her.. she is warmhearted and doesn't do anything wrong, she was good to me... she is shy and quiet at times..(in school, works..) the way a friend described her "girls like her don't come around often" (I know it sounds cliche) but what really holds me back is when I think back on her in the past little while, she hasn't made to much of an effort for us or to me.. it makes me feel ike.. there is no point in even trying... she would get mad at little things lately(as if she was annoyed at me)

The life of going "wild/partying" isn't my thing... as cheesy as it sounds I miss the lovey dovey ness, I feel like if i go back I'll lose the current friends I started hanging out with more... can someone give me some advice

[IncognitoSir]

All thoses things you miss, they're gone. The spark is gone. This happens man. There doesn't have to be a "problem" to cause it, it just happens. If she was bored, then she deserves someone who keeps her entertained. You deserve someone you feel like entertaining. Now, i think you deserve a better explanation, at least face to face, but hey, thats a reflection of her, not you. Maybe she was afraid and she probably still loves you, but she's not happy. Just continue the no contact, it's the best thing for you now. Go out and meet other people, it'll get better over time.

[birdman16]

Thing is.. she was bored... yea.. but .. I think she caused it to herself aswell.. she waited for me... until I was free to meet up with her and whatnot... but she didn't give herself any hobbies... or whatever...I'm tempted to call her up.. yea.. I need that reflection.. I can't simply stop talking to her... with only a measly email breakup...

I understand I'll get flamed if I keep going with the "But what about.."

She still has FB pics with us... but she blocked them out to public... ... she still checks up on me..

[Legato]

I understand this. Way too familiar to me. Just happened to me also. The "spark" left from my ex. I know how it happened and I figure if we could just have some fun again and get that spark going again than I could make it last. But I guess it takes willingness from both sides and that's the difficult part. NOT KNOWING IF SHE WANTS TO TRY! I'm gonna leave it alone for a while and see what happens.

[birdman16]

Sorry to hear dude.. but its good knowing I'm not alone in this... i just worry about her going to clubs and stuff and .. going out with other guys now.. I dont wanna know... :\ damn... should I block her off of facebook?

[Legato]

Don't defriend her, just block. She will not know unless she tries to contact you I think. I defriended my ex but i could tell she was a little irritated at that. If you do decide to move on, then it would be a good idea to completely remove her from your life. All I hear is no contact is the best way. If it was meant to be, then it was meant to be.