Ex-girlfriend from 14 years ago

[Kaius]

I am confused about the intention of an email sent by my ex-girlfriend from 14 years ago. Here's the background:

She and I dated for 5 months in 1996. She was 19 and I was 21. She lost her virginity to me. We got along ok, but I never fell in love with her....I just enjoyed having sex with her because I loved her body. On Memorial Day weekend, I broke up with her over the phone, because I didn't want to drag the relationship any longer. Plus I was graduating college, so whats the point of keeping it going? She was devastated, but moved on, and began dating another fellow 3 months later.

12 years went by. I was near the end of my marriage. I decided to email her via Facebook and apologize for being an insensitive prick to her. I told her that I was immature, and really didn't know what I wanted. She responded briefly, and we exchanged emails for a week. Then silence.

2 years went by, and last week, she emailed me out of the blue. She told me she was still mad at me, and that she couldn't forgive me right away, so she stopped emailing me 2 years earlier. Now she has come to the realization that she never loved me, but was only in love with the idea of having a boyfriend at that time. She married the fellow she dated right after me. She wanted closure on our communication, so she decided to email me again.

I'm confused. Why would a woman initiate this kind of communication after all these years? It's so weird. Any comments?

[carl1222]

Sounds like she's taking inventory and cleaning up some loose ends from her past. Thank her for her email and put it behind you.

Carl.

[MerryH]

It's not that weird. You did the same thing two years ago.

[Gribble]

What is weird is the fact that she's still angry. Seriousyl? 14 years later?

[Iliveinoblivion]

"What is weird is the fact that she's still angry. Seriousyl? 14 years later?"

So, you´re 19 and are crazy about this one guy, then you loose your virginity to him. Then, he dumps you over the phone clearly because you didn´t seem to be as important as to meet in person. Do you think 14 years is too long? Some memories are so heavy that even if you forgive, there´s peace only after closure, it´s symbolical.

[IncognitoSir]

It's not that weird. You did the same thing two years ago.

lol, exactly what I was thinking!

[IncognitoSir]

Eh, she wanted closure, just like you did.

[Gribble]

"What is weird is the fact that she's still angry. Seriousyl? 14 years later?"

So, you´re 19 and are crazy about this one guy, then you loose your virginity to him. Then, he dumps you over the phone clearly because you didn´t seem to be as important as to meet in person. Do you think 14 years is too long? Some memories are so heavy that even if you forgive, there´s peace only after closure, it´s symbolical.

Yes, I do think it's too long. In fact, I think it's borderline insane and outright sad. In 14 years her life has been so devoid of significance that she's still worrying over some college fling? Please. Her life's been too dull and too damn good.

[MerryH]

Yes, I do think it's too long. In fact, I think it's borderline insane and outright sad. In 14 years her life has been so devoid of significance that she's still worrying over some college fling? Please. Her life's been too dull and too damn good.

Borderline insane? That's not really fair. Why aren't you ragging on the OP for contacting her 12 years later? He's kind of the one who started this communication with her.

[Iliveinoblivion]

Merry, to know about something, whatever the subject is one has to live it and to experience it. If I want to give my opinion about drugs it´s important that I had had problems with drugs or if I want to give my opinion about cars I should know about cars. In relationships gone wrong or heartaches, one has to suffer loss and to get over or to experience the suffering involved before we can know how it feels.
Obviously, some people that posts here has`nt experienced loss or deception from a loved one, so there´s no way this person has any clue nor idea about this and that´s why there´s no way this person knows how to give a good advice. Some people just talk because they have a mouth and in this case because they have a computer and an Internet connection.
Really, people, please, if you don´t have experience or have suffered in your flesh something similar to what we post please don´t write the first thing that your unfulfilled ego tells you to write.

And you´re totally right, it is not fair and for us that have gotten paid this way it´s not easy to forget.

[Iliveinoblivion]

Just try to feel what that girl felt, maybe you´ll understand. Otherwise, there´s no way to know.

[MerryH]

Nevermind. I misunderstood.

Iliveinoblivion, I can't respond to your PM because you've chosen not to receive messages. Just letting you know.

[Kaius]

I contacted her after 12 years because I was watching "My Name is Earl" and decided that I want to clear my conscience. When I met her, I had just ended a 3-year relationship, and I was feeling lonely. I was horny as hell, and here was a nerdy 19-year-old virgin who was very curious about sex. I didn't think she was super pretty, but her 34D-24-32 figure really caught my attention. The sex was so amazing... I couldn't believe a virgin could be so adventurous. During my 12 years of bad marriage, I often fantasized about her..... I didn't love her...or even like her, but I loved the sex. OMG. All I wanted to do two years ago was to apologize for being such a jerk. We dated a total of 5 months, but only because I wanted to keep her 2 more months to finish the softball season. She was the best hitter on our co-ed team, and I didn't want my team to lose. Yes, that was very selfish, and I regretted that over the years.

Update: I went silent on her. I didn't want to talk to her.... because there is no incentive to keep a friendship with her at this point. She emailed me this morning. She thought her last email was kinda rude, so she apologized. She lives about 10 miles from me now, so she wants me to call her and have coffee with her. Needless to say, I deleted that email. I don't think my GF would be happy about that.

[Chlorine]

I contacted her after 12 years because I was watching "My Name is Earl" and decided that I want to clear my conscience.

Update: I went silent on her. I didn't want to talk to her.... because there is no incentive to keep a friendship with her at this point. She emailed me this morning. She thought her last email was kinda rude, so she apologized. She lives about 10 miles from me now, so she wants me to call her and have coffee with her. Needless to say, I deleted that email. I don't think my GF would be happy about that.

Kaius--------Heh heh, Earl is my hero too but.....he is assured of a happy ending because the script says so. In real life, attempting an Earl could be disastrous.

You are too curious about your ex.