Am I completely wrong to feel this way??

[Smartmouse]

Ok this is my first time posting here,

I am hoping to get a girls perspective on this.

Just today, being so recent as it is, I took out some steak from the freezer to surprise my girl friend with a nice meal when she comes home from work. No reason, just because. I am chatting with her on instant message and she tells me she wants to cook her friend she has known for years dinner tonight, because he had a hard day with his ex. I got upset and asked her why is she always asking me to do little things, like hold her hand in public or show more affection period. And then she says that i'm too clingy and that I am never serious and that I have to work on these things or we won't work out for the long run. I asked her why is she cooking him dinner when I never get anything like that in return. I've had plenty of bad days, and I get told to change what made them bad and possibly the occasional sleeping with. Am I being completely wrong for being upset, I still haven't told her that I had planned dinner for her.

Oh I didn't mention that this friend, ever since he broke up with his gf, has been around all of the time cause he has a lot of bad days. If I even so much as imply that it's either him or I, she would take him in a heartbeat. She knows how I feel and after I brought this all up, her solution is we need alone time. From working all day to me taking night classes, we only see each other a few days a week and we live together. Is this alone time really a wise thing or is it that she can't really confront what's bothering her so she has to be alone to bottle it up inside? I hate the alone time solution, mainly cause she always uses it when we have an argument. I tried to get her to talk about things and find ways to take out her frustration than for us being alone. I've been in relationships where the girl wanted alone time and she was cheating on me or getting ready to leave. This one is different, but those feelings of my past keep haunting me. She also knows about my past as well and continues to pull the same crap. Anyone know what are some good solutions to this, besides dumping her?

Thank you

[humili]

Find a quiet moment , let the ego down, tell her your real thoughts in a casual manner!

Communication is vital for things to work out! The reason you are here is bcos you are not getting heard!

Focus on the future and forget abt the past!

[MerryH]

You do seem to be a little clingy and unreasonable. She told you she wanted to spend time with a friend who is going through a rough time and you get mad and basically go, "Well what about me?! Why don't you ever cook dinner for ME!? And how dare you ask me to hold your hand in public!?" (wtf, what did her asking for more affection have to do with this argument?) Also, you shouldn't even so much as imply that she should choose between you and a friend. You don't get to dictate who she spends time with.

You're smothering her. Ease up.