How do you "chase" a girl without looking to clingy or desperate?

[Jedwards]

Im not going to go into big details here, just that i've known this girl for a few months, we both have or atleast had feelings for each other but she wasn't ready for a relationship. We still hang out and talk lots, but it seems like either she has lost interest or wants me to chase her.

Assuming the latter, how should I chase her without scaring her off? I don't want to come off as desperate and clingy. She hasn't been initiating contact as much with me lately, but when I initiate it she never ignores me and seems more than happy to talk. If I dont here from her for a few days what should I do, how often should I contact her to let her know im still interested and so that we can just keep things up without annoying or scaring her off?

[humili]

Occasonally send her surprises but at the same time maintain the steadiness in you and relax and be your own self! No one likes it when the other party tries too hard!

[MerryH]

In general, I think it's a good idea to be pretty clear about your intentions if you're wanting to date a girl. It's not desperate or clingy to flirt with a girl or ask her out on a romantic-type date once or twice. It's better to be upfront about these things so if she doesn't want to date you, you don't have to bother with any "chasing" or worrying about looking desperate. You just back off or treat her as a friend.

But I'll tell you what is desperate and clingy, though. To befriend a girl just to wait around for the day when you wear her down enough so that she finally considers dating you.

[Poetic_Partner]

"...But I'll tell you what is desperate and clingy, though. To befriend a girl just to wait around for the day when you wear her down enough so that she finally considers dating you...."

True dat MH!

Ask her out. Play it cool whatever her answer.

If she says "no" continue to be a friend, but don't ever count on it becoming more.

-PP

[Applesauce]

Why are you "chasing" her? Ask her out already

[Jedwards]

Because she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship but she is still keeping me around, im not sure if she likes me but im pretty sure she does, do you think I should just ask her straight up? Im worried if i do this that even if she does like me and has feeling for me but is really not ready that I could scare her off for good

[girl68]

"not ready" usually just means not you.

[Applesauce]

Jedwards says:

"Because she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship but she is still keeping me around, im not sure if she likes me but im pretty sure she does, do you think I should just ask her straight up? Im worried if i do this that even if she does like me and has feeling for me but is really not ready that I could scare her off for good"

you really think if the right guy came along, she would tell him "sorry I'm not looking for a relationship?" Don't fool yourself

[Poetic_Partner]

Listen to Girl68 and Applesauce.

"Not ready" is a way of saying "no" without feeling like a jerk. Asking her out after that would be very likely to push her away. Just continue to be a friend. Don't count on anything in the future either - it might happen, but is quite unlikely.

Fortunately, the way to keep open the (very slim) possibility of a future relationship, is exactly the same way to act if you are want to accept that it's not going to happen. First, give her space. Second, flirt with other girls and go on some dates.

-PP

[Iliveinoblivion]

Have an honest conversation with all the confidence in the world, tell her exactly and without making a rodeo exactly what you feel, but without being too direct, you know, like with a big smile so she feels comfortable. But show yourself with absolute confidence at the same time you feel it. If she beats around the bush, well, you have confidence in yourself and that my fried, means you can have a perfectly functioning life without her.
Then, regardless of what happens, don´t forget keeping that confidence in yourself. If she wants to "think about it" or yadayadayada, then, thank the lord for saving your butt from this one and smile to every girl on the street, until another one comes along. If she wants to be with you, she´ll feel your confidence and you´ll notice if she wants to go out with you or not.

[Boisdevie]

'Not ready' means she's trying to tell you in the nicest possible way that you're not 'The one'

[xxazurexx]

You don't have to chase a woman who is interested and because she doesn't run very far if she is interested and she returns of her own accord.