Need advice!!!! URGENT!!!

[Missapple]

Hey, im in a situation i dont really know whats right to do.
im together with this guy whos 15 years older than me, im 24, for more than a year now, and im 4months pregnant. The thing is i really do love me, and he seems to love me too, but when we argue he gets relly agressive, threatens to beat me if i dont shut up, and sometimes he does beat me, after he will b so sorry but will say that i did deserve it. Im wondering if i should leave him or not because most of the time were really happy together and hes good tol me, except for these few times when he turns into a monster. Give me advice please, im so desperate.

[Lovable]

Honestly, the only advice I can give you is to LEAVE HIM!!

Any man that beats a woman, then has the gall to say that the woman "deserved it", is SCUM & doesn't deserve to have that woman in his life.

Yes I understand you are pregnant, but you have to get away from this guy. What if he hits you so badly you lose the baby or lose your life? Not only that, do you really want to bring your child up in an abusive household?

[Ariadne]

You should leave him immediately. If you want to put yourself at risk and staying with him, that's one thing. But endangering your child is another thing entirely. And the guy is dangerous, no matter what a sweetheart he may be when he's not beating you.

[carl1222]

What kind of a monster beats a pregnant woman? Nobody "deserves" to be beaten. If he's that angry, he can always walk out of the room. If not for yourself, leave him for your child. Kids who grow up in a physically abusive family are FAR more likely to be abusers/abused themselves when they grow up.

Dump him!

Carl.

[Missapple]

Thx so much for your quick responses, i appreciate, the reason why i'm terrified to leave him is his threat to kill me if i ever attempt to leave him again, because i already tried 3 months ago, i even changed country, but he found me, he was in tears and begged me to take him back, which i mistakely did, and now he threatens to take my life if i try that again, but corresponding with you people gives me courage, so thx again

[girl68]

get your friends and family to help you.

[Missapple]

the thing is, i dont have anymore friends since im with him, i'm in bad relations with my family since years, its why i turn to this forum

[Poetic_Partner]

Call your local woman's shelter immediately. As in, find a quiet place RIGHT NOW and dial the number. Tell them your situation and ask their advice.

They'll tell you the same as we are - leave ASAP - but will be better able to advise you than we are.

If not for yourself, then for your expectant child. If something serious happens to you this winter, s/he will never be born. If s/he does survive to be born, do you trust him to not shake/slap your baby?

-PP

[Poetic_Partner]

If you live in Athens, here's some info on contacting your city's shelter:

Women who stay at the Shelter are referred to the service by the City of Athens Office for Equality, the General Secretariat for Gender Equality Reception Office and other social services and agencies, on their own initiative. Local social services, police stations, hospitals, churches and related services have been informed of the Shelter's existence.

[url=http://www.cityofathens.gr/en/women/shelter-abused-women]Shelter for Abused Women | City of Athens[/url]

Churches of all denominations often act as sanctuary for abused people for the day while the staff calls the appropriate organizations.

Hospitals often have a mandate to help the abused too, so that's a possibility.

Your Ob/Gyn will also be able to help you.

You are NOT alone. There are many in your situation, and many in your area who know what to do. Get behind them and they will act as your shield.

-PP

[sweetkissesforu]

Run Girl Run if he abuses you when pregnant asso

[MerryH]

the thing is, i dont have anymore friends since im with him, i'm in bad relations with my family since years, its why i turn to this forum

Even if you haven't spoken to your old friends in a while, you should consider calling them. They probably know that your man is an asshole and they would probably be happy to find out that you're leaving him. Apologize for whatever happened that ended your friendship, and tell them that you have no one else to turn to and you need some help. I don't know if it would be appropriate to ask to stay at their place or anything, but they could possibly come pick you up and help you move some things out while he's at work or something.

Also, call the shelter. Do it.

[thien]

Leave him. Any man that beats his woman, or threatens to beat his woman is counter intuitive to what a man's role in a family is about. He should not beat you, or be verbally abusive. Don't let the fact that you're pregnant force you to fixate your happiness. I've known people who stayed with someone just because they are pregnant, and wanted the child to know their father. The situation always ended up ugly. The child is better off with a stable loving family.

[Missapple]

thx alot for ur answers, im currently not in athens, or in Greece, im in Serbia, His country, reason why im even more terrifyed! But i have my car here, so im just trying to gather some cash for the next few weeks to have enough to pay gas to drive off back to Greece, but in the meantime im really needing to continue corresponding on the forum to keep my confidence that i really need to leave him, even though i do love him, or i think i do, i think im dependent of him, its why your advices help me keep my mind clear, thx alot again, you gave me courage, and please keep on giving me more courage and more arguments on why i have to GO.

[xxazurexx]

Am unsure why you feel a need to ask what you should do. The obvious answer is get out!!!!

If it was me like, I'd take the nearest heavy object and put it over his head!!! One thing I can't stand is a gutless coward of a man who will abuse and beat women. I witnesed that shit while I was a kid and vowed I'd never take shit off a man and I didn't. Which is why at first sign of abuse, I've exited a relationship and pronto.

Leave the bas**rd!!!!

[Missapple]

Yes i am leaving, slowly but so dam surely, im tired of beeing told what to do or not, or being told when to clean up the house, or to b threatened to be beaten if i dont shut my mouth etc... it all seems so primitive, i really had enough.