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Thread: Offering a girl a ride home after a date: just being nice or interested?

  1. #1
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    Jan 2008
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    Offering a girl a ride home after a date: just being nice or interested?

    I had been talking to this guy online and we finally met up this weekend. It seemed to go well. We walked around and talked for a couple hours. We originally planned on getting some coffee or brunch, but neither of us paid attention to the places we were passing. Eventually we stopped for some ice cream and then sat in the park to eat it and talk some more. After we finished, he offered to give me a ride home (I walked over to where we met and he drove). I said no because I always do on the first date when I meet guys online for safety, even if they don't give off any creepy vibes (which he didn't at all). So he walked me part way in the direction I was going, offered one or two more times, which I again refused (though it made it harder to do). So we said goodbye and he said that he'd get in touch with me about meeting again. I've learned that even if they don't mean it guys say they'll call/get in touch. Would you offer to drive a date home regardless of interest to be nice? Would you do it only if interested? Again, we didn't go their together...we met up. Also, would you be offended/take it as a sign she wasn't interested if you did offer and were refused? Or just think the girl was being careful under the circumstances?

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    I always offer to drive my date home even if my date wasn't right for me. But the fact that he was willing to walk you part way means he was interested! You have every right to try and be as safe as possible, I understand that. Just send him a text or or something saying you enjoyed spending time with him. Also, try to give him an excuse for why you needed to walk home. Don't tell him it's because you didn't trust him.

  3. #3
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    It was really beautiful out that day, so I said I wanted to walk to be outside because it's going to be winter and yucky weather soon. I also said that if it hadn't been such nice weather I would have taken him up on his offer. I also texted him later after I got home saying I should have taken him up on his offer (because of all the walking...I was more tired than I thought). I trusted him, but I figure better safe than sorry.

  4. #4
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    Everything sounds great so far then.

  5. #5
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    I would always offer to give a lady a ride home as well purely out of manners. If she said no and had a fair enough alterative way to get home, I wouldnt ask again unless i liked her.

  6. #6
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    Yeah, I always offer to drive home as well.. just polite/courteous thing to do. But in your situation, it sounds like he is interested and your just doing the smart thing by being safe.

  7. #7
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    you are wise to not take a ride from some dude off the net, but he was proably being a gentleman.
    i would always offer a lift home just to be nice and its a mans job to make a women safe so as for a first date its
    a good sighn he likes you.
    just tell him thanks for offering me a ride but i dont know you to well just being carefull.If a girl said this to me i would totally respect that and think this girls
    sensible and that would add to my atractio to her.
    btw i dont think he would of been offended he probably just thought you were being polite or you dont feel
    too comfortable with him just yet.
    good luck anyway xxx

  8. #8
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    So when he was leaving he said he'd call, but hasn't and it's been 4 days. Could my saying turning down his offer have made him think I wasn't interested? I was nervous so I don't remember what I said...nothing like I don't trust you; just something about it being really beautiful out and wanting to walk/be outside while it was still nice. I did say that if the weather wasn't nice I would go with him. Do I send him a non-threatening message, like "hey...just wanted to see if you wanted to go to (insert idea here) next week?" or something like that in case I did come off as uninterested (guys that I really like make me nervous and then I am more likely to do stupid things/or come off as uninterested...basically i end up not always making/giving the best first impression around guys i'm into)? Or do I just leave it go under the assumption that if he was interested he would have gotten in touch regardless of if he thought I was interested or not?

  9. #9
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    I think you were right to say no since this was your first time meeting the guy in the offline world. I would doubt that if he is seriously interested, turning down the ride would keep him away. He may still call...if not, you didn't do anything wrong. Never compromise your personal comfort and safety.

  10. #10
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    I offer because I'm kind-hearted, but I do think girls probably assume everything I do is a way of getting in their pants.

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