Good guy friend doesn't want to be friends anymore. WHATT??

[GIrlTalkNow]

I have known Andrew for a few years now. He used to like me in high school and I liked him to for a short time, but then I fell for his best friend, and I dated his best friend at the time for only a few months. Maybe I should throw in that I kinda ruined their friendship ..Anyway, me and Andrew are in our JR year of college now, and we became close over the past summer. We hung out a lot, and had the most fun with eachother. He has a girlfriend, and I don't have anything serious right now. Anyway, we would ALWAYS talk about eachothers relationship problems to eachother. Anyway, about a week ago, I visited him at his school, and stayed over. He invited me to sleep with him on his bed, and I went along with it. He then made a move on me, and I went along with it, and we made out for a while, and he did other stuff to me, I didn't do anything else to him. He offered to have sex but I refused, and we just went back to sleep. Things seeemed find after what happened, and we spoke as usual. However, yesterday morning he texted me saying:

"We shouldn't contact eachother much anymore. I really enjoy spending time with you, more than I do with my own girlfriend, and that takes a huge toll on my relationship. I love hanging out with you more than I do with my own gf, and idk what u consider us, but whatever we have is something that should be exclusively done in my own relationship. I know you just want to be friends, and if that is the case, I hope u understand that I need to do this. I love you, and you aren't the blame for this..."

What does this mean? Why did he do this? Should I be madd???

[MerryH]

He's basically saying that he wants to be more than friends, and if you don't want a relationship with him, then he doesn't want to hang out with you anymore.

[GIrlTalkNow]

Thats what I thought at first, but he already has a girlfriend, so I feel like starting a relationship with me isn't exactly what is on his mind....

[MerryH]

Didn't you read what he texted you? He says he likes you more than his girlfriend.

[GIrlTalkNow]

So why hasn't he told me that he has feelings for me before he jumps in and says he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I mean, I don't currently want anything with him, but it sucks because we were really close friends..

[blent]

That's probably something you should discuss with your friend. Maybe he now understands that you aren't interested in him romantically, and has decided that he needs some time away from you to deal with this. But it could be anything.

[xxazurexx]

If you aren't interested I'd leave him alone.

I know that seems harsh, but if he likes you it's probably hurting him and to be in contact with you and he's feeling the best thing for him, is to end the friendship. If you were a genuine friend, you would understand where he is coming from and respect his wishes.

I went through similar with a guy (an ex) I still had feelings for. I had to end that friendship too. I had no choice....I was unable to move on and be happy and until he was out of the picture.

If you were friends with a guy you had feelings for and they were not being reciprocated, then wouldn't you would let that friendship go too.

[xxazurexx]

So why hasn't he told me that he has feelings for me before he jumps in and says he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I mean, I don't currently want anything with him, but it sucks because we were really close friends..

He's probably too afraid to tell you of his feelings.

[Ariadne]

Your friend is cheating scum. Get better friends.

EDIT: And you're a slut for doing anything with him knowing he has a girlfriend. Shame on you.

[BrownDog52469]

He LOVES you! Plain as day. However, you don't want more than a friendship from him at this point. He's hurt, confused and about a million other emotions right now. He's distancing himself because he can't handle being just friends right now. He decided he needs to get over you and get on with life with his girlfriend. Tell him that you feel very close to him and want to remain friends. If he needs space, you understand, but regardless you'll always be his friend and will always be there. He'll appreciat that. Besides, you can't force him to be friends. Give him some time to reflect on your friendship; if you are good friends he'll be back. He just needs time to come to terms with your relationship.

I have a very close friend of the opposite sex. We're both in relationships with other people. At different times we've both kept our distance to not interfere with one anothers relationships. But regardless we're there for each other as friends.

[xxazurexx]

I have a very close friend of the opposite sex. We're both in relationships with other people. At different times we've both kept our distance to not interfere with one anothers relationships. But regardless we're there for each other as friends.

Sounds to me like it's more than friends and if you have to both distance and so as not to caise interference in your relationships.

If you were genuine friends only, you would feel no need to distance.

[Poetic_Partner]

"...What does this mean?..."

Um - he told you EXACTLY what it means. He likes you and it's affecting his relationship, so he wants to cut contact with you.

-PP

[all alone]

He says your not to blame, but hes just being nice. You totally are.. lets review everything:

Your being all flirty with him when he likes you in high school, then BAM, you date his best friend and ruin their friendship (oups!)

So you have made it clear to him in the past that you don't want a relationship. You still continue your friendship and its pretty clear that he still has feelings towards you, especially when he makes a move on you. You, knowing you don't want to be in a relationship with him then reciprocate his advances. WHYYYYYYYYYYY...

Let this poor guy off your hook would you. Don't just keep him around because you like the attention, you have already ruined his friendship and now probably his current relationship. I'm not condoning his actions for making the move or cheating, however theres no way in hell you ever should have reciprocated knowing you don't want anything to do with him.

So why is not wanting any contact with you?.. because you have kept on your hook giving him hope and he's realized hes much better off with you out of the picture so he can get his head together.

[madotnw_nihs]

He says your not to blame, but hes just being nice. You totally are.. lets review everything:

Your being all flirty with him when he likes you in high school, then BAM, you date his best friend and ruin their friendship (oups!)

So you have made it clear to him in the past that you don't want a relationship. You still continue your friendship and its pretty clear that he still has feelings towards you, especially when he makes a move on you. You, knowing you don't want to be in a relationship with him then reciprocate his advances. WHYYYYYYYYYYY...

Let this poor guy off your hook would you. Don't just keep him around because you like the attention, you have already ruined his friendship and now probably his current relationship. I'm not condoning his actions for making the move or cheating, however theres no way in hell you ever should have reciprocated knowing you don't want anything to do with him.

So why is not wanting any contact with you?.. because you have kept on your hook giving him hope and he's realized hes much better off with you out of the picture so he can get his head together.

My thoughts exactly

[NLL]

you seem like you are not interested...sooo