Is it true about girls? What am I doing?!?

[R0aDRuNN3R5]

Just to start this may be a little confusing so I'll to explain my best.

So there is this girl that I like but I can already tell that my chances of being with her are slim but I still try anyway just to be on good terms with her. I know it because my friend once told me she likes some guy from her town.
Also: She lost her virginity and I don't know if she still likes that guy or not (supposedly girls have an attachment to the first guy they did). And my other friend who I warned him about if her hit on her he would regret it, because he already screwed over another friends situation. And he seems to be doing better than I am even though he isn't the guy from the same town So I'm working against the odds here.

Anyways, I think I'm stuck in a friendzone or something becuase I'm being the nice guy (IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT GIRLS LIKE GUYS THAT ACT LIKE DICKS?, I don't really mean dicks, girls just like the rebel guys that aren't afraid to talk back and do what they want). I'm a mix between the two, I act like that but I'm usually more of the nice guy towards her.
-I get the door for her and she thinks its really sweet (and I have 'evidence')
-I pay for her and told her about my gentlemen morals of "Never make a girl pay"
-If I ever did curse around her I would excuse myself b/c I'm just that kind of guy
-And I just be nice and at my best all together

So what kind of situation am I in? Being the friend sucks but even just meeting with her makes me happy. I would still be friends with her but is the relationship a lost cause or what can I do????

[Neyy]

To answer your strict question, do girls like guys that act like dicks?

No.

Not that I am a girl, but from my knowledge, girls do not like guys who are dicks. But girls, and most people in general, are attracted to confidence. Guys who are dicks, have a lot of confidence. A confident guy who isn't a dick is even better. A non confident guy who isn't a dick may be better also, but they don't get the chance.

I can already tell you're not confident, you committed yourself to failure in the second sentence, or at least committed yourself to terrible odds.
My guess would be that is why it seems as though they are doing better than you. Also, if she is into somebody already, its pretty hard to divert the attention from him to you until the initial blind period is over.

Thats how I am looking at it at least. Good luck sir.

[xxazurexx]

No, it's not true that females like men who are dicks.

Some females are just no good at spotting the 'dicks', hence they will dumbly get involved with one.

(supposedly girls have an attachment to the first guy they did).

Do they?

I don't. It's the 'first' guy that I ever fell in love with that I remember the most - not the 'first' I slept with.

[Liam_680]

I beg to disagree. I believe that acting for what you are and who you are is right and you dont have to act like a dick for a girl to like you. if you are that nice boy next door type, then so let it be. But, I would also advice you to tell the lady what you feel about her, this will make the difference between staying as a friend and setting the records straight. go for the gold

[Poetic_Partner]

"...supposedly girls have an attachment to the first guy they did..."
There's a statistics saying - "correlation is not causality". In so far as this is true, it would be if women tend to lose their virginity to men they have already become attached to. But that is far from universal, and also true of many guys.

"...I think I'm stuck in a friendzone or something becuase I'm being the nice guy..."
Nice guys and jerks have obvious differences in personality, but the two aspects important to dating have nothing to do with "being a dick". Namely, single jerks tend to be more confident and more comfortable sexually than nice guys. The reason you don't SEE nice guys with those traits is because they're all hanging out with girlfriends.

I think you're on the right track with your little acts of kindness. So long as they don't become smothering (and she isn't a jerk herself), I guarantee they are appreciated. But that doesn't mean she's going to fall for you - it just means that you will be in a good place if she does.

I will also give you different advice from Liam and advise NOT to confess your love to her - instead, just ask her out to dinner if you already know her fairly well.

Think about it this way. If she's into you, then it won't matter - she'll still date you. If she's not into you, then it won't matter - and confessing can even push her away from you. If she's on the fence, just asking her out may get a 'yes', while confessing may seem to be coming on too strong.

-PP

[VincenzoG91]

Women are attracted to assertive men. Young women often mistake aggression and rudeness for assertiveness.

[Gribble]

Being yourself will get you nowhere in life. It won't get you hired or laid. That's just a cold hard fact of reality. The same women who are telling you otherwise are the same women who would turn your ass down in a heartbeat if you approached them with even a shred of sincerity.

You get what you want in life by taking it. Not by earning it.

[Poetic_Partner]

"...It won't get you hired or laid...."
I'm sorry to disagree Gribble, but I've had no problem with the former and not too much trouble with the latter.

I do agree that what people say and what they think and what they do are all often different, but IMHO success in life starts with being comfortable with oneself. I also agree that you can't expect people to reward you for just being a good sport, but I would answer that a person''s goal should not be to be rewarded, but simply to live a good life and live it well.

Just my personal thoughts on the matter.

-PP

[girl68]

I'm a mix between the two
-I get the door for her and she thinks its really sweet (and I have 'evidence')
-I pay for her and told her about my gentlemen morals of "Never make a girl pay"
-If I ever did curse around her I would excuse myself b/c I'm just that kind of guy
-And I just be nice and at my best all together

So what kind of situation am I in?

^ That is all hardcore "niceguy" so if she's down with the bad boys you don't have a shot in hell.

[xxazurexx]

Being yourself will get you nowhere in life. It won't get you hired or laid. That's just a cold hard fact of reality. The same women who are telling you otherwise are the same women who would turn your ass down in a heartbeat if you approached them with even a shred of sincerity.

Would depend upon if he was a dog or not. I don't turn men down or not and based upon whether they are nice or a dick.

People go for who is physically appealing to them and if you are a nice guy who doesn't physically appeal, then you are gonna get knocked back. But hey, rather than take the rejection, let's just blame it on the fact you were too nice....

If you are a nice guy who physically appeals, she will date you....

Same with the 'dicks'.
An ugly 'dick', will get turned down. An ugly dick won't appear more attractive to the eye and because he acts like a dick.....
A good looking dick and if appealing to her eye will score.

It all boils down to what is physically appealing.....not whether you are nice or not.

Looks initially attract, NOT the personality or traits - that comes after looks. And if people don't find you physically attractive, you usually don't get a chance to show them your personality and traits, etc....

Just my view anyway.

[all alone]

[Pun] Not all girls, but a lot do like dicks [/Pun]

[Applesauce]

Gribble says:

"Being yourself will get you nowhere in life. It won't get you hired or laid. That's just a cold hard fact of reality. The same women who are telling you otherwise are the same women who would turn your ass down in a heartbeat if you approached them with even a shred of sincerity."

x2. Never listen to girls who give you dating advice. In theory, if you became all those qualities a girl says she likes then she should fall for you. However, we all know that's not the case

[xxazurexx]

Never listen to girls who give you dating advice...

No wonder most of you fail in the dating game...

Nobody knows how we tick, better than we do - but if you wanna ignore it what females say....feel free.

[Applesauce]

xxazurexx says:

"No wonder most of you fail in the dating game..."

wrong, the reason most guys fail in the dating game is b/c they grew up listening to female fantasies of prince charming

"Nobody knows how we tick, better than we do - but if you wanna ignore it what females say....feel free."

what women say and what they do often contradict each other (e.g. they say "no" but really mean "yes")

no thanks, I will stick to advice from guys who actually get girls =]

[xxazurexx]

wrong, the reason most guys fail in the dating game is b/c they grew up listening to female fantasies of prince charming...

Well because that is what we yearn for 'Prince Charming'.......a good looking guy who is nice and treats us like Queens

what women say and what they do often contradict each other (e.g. they say "no" but really mean "yes")...

When I say 'no', you better believe I mean 'no'...

no thanks, I will stick to advice from guys who actually get girls =] ...

Then be prepared to end up on the shelf and in the kitchen at parties.....lol

Oh and like attracts like....so if you act like a dick, don't be surprised that you end up with a female who is a dick...

No decent woman wants a knobhead.