Having a Rough Time Enjoying Life

[FunkySkunk]

Hey guys, FunkySkunk here, new member

Yep, having a bit of a tough time enjoying life when I have almost no reason to not be. I can't say I'm fully blown depressed but I am not feeling my best. I'm 20 years old right now, turning 21 relatively soon. Went Backpacking solo, just to adventure and experience something new at the beginning of the year. Now I'm back at home, going to a good school, DJing on my free time, I'm not working but still trying to look for work. Asides from my life being a bit slow at the moment, I can't seem to dissect and figure out whats bringing/slowing me down and killing my motivation.. making me feel tired/numb all the time etc.

AKA : Life = Boring as all Hell

I'm confident, I've been told that I have a charismatic charm, I'm a good looking guy . I have a bit of an ego but I'm trying to change it, it has killed some relationships between my friends and it starting to work it's way towards my closest friends.

I'm usually bright and outspoken, but recently as my friends would describe me as being "off" and on "edge" a lot of the time. I think this is all because of me being single my whole life. I've never experienced the whole relationship thing, and I'm guessing it's something that's lacking in my life. I have had "encounters" and "close relationships" with other women in my life but I always seem to destroy it one way or another. I'm not socially awkward, a bit weird but who isn't?

I just don't know why I can't get a girlfriend...starting to feel somewhat lonely.

Someone talk to me.

[blent]

You should try and figure out what it is that is making you upset... maybe you need to meet more people because it sounds like you aren't compatible with your friends. You should only be considering a relationship when you feel you are ready for such a commitment. It's not the key to happiness, it will only make you MORE HAPPY. Everyone feels down at times, if your life is very dull right now, then change it up a bit. I've tried fencing, squash and tennis, and it feels great knowing i'm doing more than just going to a bar with friends or work and school.

I'm not saying you shouldn't meet as many women as you can though! Everyone should have a bit of romance in their lives, just don't rely on that one part of life to make you happy.

[tracybrinkmann]

well i would say the first thing you might want to sit down and think about is what are you passionate about? perhaps your 'off' because you are no longer chasing something that lights your fire and enables that charm you have to work its magic on you as well as the outside world. I have found that when a person is not chasing his/her 'dream' that fall into a lull like you are describing.....

[damn2010]

How have you "destroyed" your close relationships with women? You may want to analyze yourself (and sometimes remember, it's not you, it's them!) as to why those connections fell apart and you might want to change your tune.

[FunkySkunk]

How have you "destroyed" your close relationships with women? You may want to analyze yourself (and sometimes remember, it's not you, it's them!) as to why those connections fell apart and you might want to change your tune.

Too much to explain, It has been me not initiating/being a total dick/not caring/never calling back/never texting to see how shes doing....just not being the "good guy." And what do you mean by changing your tune?

[trouble_sleepin]

Hey, well sometimes friends can come and go at times especially when you're already feeling kind of lonely. I think you should examine your friendships closely and spend time to think about what you want to do in life. What are your goals/ambitions? Is there something you want to do but feel that somehow you can't pursue it right now?

With women, I can personally say they're really easy to turn off. An overly confident guy can be a little overwhelming... no, that's not the word I want to use. He could come off as... conceited, insensitive, it just looks to them like "well, he's not calling, he must not think much of me."
If you're experiencing that, I think, first off, it's better to just find a good femal friend and gain some perspective on that front. I also think that would help you learn how to act around women without changing your personality. I don't think it's bad to have a strong personality like you seem to, but I think you just need more experience in even just being around a woman. It's more or less like friendship. Except, a relationship gives you a deeper connection. If they don't feel like they matter to you or if you don't care or if they're mistreated, then obviously that won't go well.

The most I can say is try to think in their POV. Would you like it if your girlfriend never called? Texted? Or mistreated you? And if that doesn't help, I'd say talk to your next potential girlfriend. Women in a relationship want to listen to what's going on. If you find a good one, she'll want to help and maybe she'll understand that you're not used to calling a girl every five seconds or you're not used to dating etiquette.
When you find another girl, try communicating more.

Also, I agree with blent. Going into a relationship at this point of your life isn't going to necessarily take away these feelings. It may even aggravate the situation more. So focus on you for now and I'm sure the right one will come along, then you'll be okay with trying to pursue a relationship.

(I hope I made sense. lol)

[Applesauce]

Here you go. This will explain what you're doing wrong and how to correct it. Just read the first 3 posts

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/47332-how-get-girls.html[/url]