My new girlfriend is really rich. I am not. What do I get her for Christmas?

[Dolmetscher]

I am 32 years old. I've always had a descent job, so I'm not like sleeping-on-the-floor poor or anything. But I earn in the $30,000-$40,000 range.

5 months ago I started dating this fantastic woman. We actually knew each other when we were children, but then didn't see each other for like 20 years. She was in a relationship for 7 years (4 of which were married) to an extremely wealthy man. He turned out to be a real jerk, so she divorced him 10 months before I started dating her.

Now she herself is a successful business woman even without the wealthy husband. She earns probably twice what I do... and in addition to that, she's spent the last 7 years drinking Champagne, partying on yachts, driving a Mercedes, and wearing designer clothes that cost a fortune.

I am a very upfront person, and I discussed with her from day one exactly what my financial situation is. She was VERY adamant in saying that she does not care about the money. She says that she loves me, and that we have the time of our lives together (I agree), and that all she ever wanted was to be truly cared for, and not just insulated with money. So believe me... I get what she means, and I am proud of her for being so grounded and mature. But... (BIIIIG BUT.....) I still think there is a difference between what she thinks she wants and how she acts.

For example, she knows that I cannot afford 3-star Michelin Guide restaurants, but she always suggests or takes us to these places that are so out of my price range. Or she wants to go to the Symphony where tickets are $75 each. So I have to constantly reiterate that I just can't go there. It works out okay in the end, because I make it work, but sometimes she really does get a chip on her shoulder, I can tell, about how she has given up so much by divorcing her ex.

So anyway... Christmas is coming up... and I have no idea what to get her. We have set a Max. gift price at $175. What can I get her? I am the world's WORST gift giver. She's used to getting everything, and I just can't provide that.

Thanks!

[doppelgaenger]

Ahh man, that sucks. Sounds like you have to deal with an evolved form of princess-syndrome.

I would have suggested giving her what she really wants - someone who truly cares for her.... or to give her something that no money could buy...

[VincenzoG91]

A carefully chosen gift, even of low cost, can really impress a woman, because it shows that you really understand her. Or if you have the skills, craft something with your own hands, like a poem or a woodcarving. That's priceless, because nobody can buy your work in a store.

[Dolmetscher]

I would have suggested giving her what she really wants - someone who truly cares for her.... or to give her something that no money could buy...

I very much appreciate you taking the time to respond. And I mean this with all due respect, but... Huh?



Ich verstehe nicht was du meinst doppelgänger. Was geneau soll ich sie als Weinachtsgeschenk schenken? Danke.

[pr1076]

Hey got a good idea. Since it would be pointless (and expensive) for you to buy her something very nice, instead go to the complete opposite of go for 100% romantic inspirations. I would write her a hand written note on a beautiful Christmas letter and present it with a large bouquet of flowers and then plan something unique for a date. This should work nicely hope it helps

[doppelgaenger]

I very much appreciate you taking the time to respond. And I mean this with all due respect, but... Huh?

Ich verstehe nicht was du meinst doppelgänger. Was geneau soll ich sie als Weinachtsgeschenk schenken? Danke.

Warum schreibst Du nun auf Deutsch? Bist Du denn deutscher?

Ich meine eigentlich, Du könntest ihr einfach irgendwas schenken, das nicht mal mit dem höchsten Geldbetrag gekauft werden kann. Also bzw. wie der Vincenzo gesagt hat, Gedichte oder Lieder schreiben, ihr etwas zum Weihnachten kochen, etwas aus Holz schnitzen, oder etwas anderes. Wie schaut es aus bei der künstlerischen Fähigkeiten? Wie schon gesagt, solche Dinge sind unbezahlbar. Denke nach, was ihr beliebt ist, was für sie am wichtigsten ist. Das bedeutet auch vielleicht, einen Liebesbrief an sie zu schreiben.

[Petit Papillon]

Ey, wenn ihr auf deutsch bischen quatschen will dann bitte schön sich da [url=http://www.lovehelp.de/]LoveHelp.de - Das Liebeskummer, Beziehung und Liebe Forum[/url] oder da [url=http://www.lovetalk.de/]Lovetalk.de - Forum Liebe, Forum Liebeskummer[/url] verpissen. Toll ich rede auch auf deutsch,ich wohne hier sogar wooooooooooo... =)

I thought I can avoid german till tomorrow morning eh.

[Petit Papillon]

Woooow this Lovehelp.de look almost like LF, just in german hehehehehehehehe

[doppelgaenger]

Maybe it has a better selection of regulars. *packs bags and moves away*

[Boisdevie]

Look if we're gonna get all foreign can we do it in French so I'll understand!

Invite her to your place, cook her a fantastic meal. That should work. Well it has worked for me in the past.

[doppelgaenger]

I'm not sure why he addressed me in German, but he said he doesn't understand and then wrote in German. So I thought maybe he'd understand German better.

[VincenzoG91]

Maybe it has a better selection of regulars. *packs bags and moves away*

You will probably encounter a poster named doppeldisteinjude there.

[Kaius]

As long as there is an understanding that it's not about money, then you have little to worry about now. She obviously thinks happiness is more important than money, that's why she left her ex.
But you have to consider that women always like nice stuff, and they want to be treated right. You can't cut out all the fine things in life... That's unfair. You should take her to fine dining and
concerts once in a while.... If you cut out those activities completely, then you will run the risk of her feeling "is this all worth it?" I know women say they don't care about money, and most
of them mean what they say, but they also would be happy to be with a financially secure man. If you are gonna be with this woman long-term, you will need to better yourself career-wise.
Everyone has a choice.

Oh I almost forgot my main comment: Instead of buying her something, you should make her something that takes much effort and thought. Don't spend money. Use your heart.

[Confused81]

Spending money on someone means absolutely nothing to some people. I'm speaking from experiance... I had an ex that was a complete ass (cheater, lier, stealer etc etc).... but if I wanted something he would buy it for me, gold & diamonds. If I wanted to go somewhere he would take me.... I turned into the high maintenance princess that goes along with the part. I spent way too long of my life with him.

I'm now with a man that I enjoy spending my time with. We dont spend mega dollars on each other even though we could if we wanted to, but it's just not about that. It's about finding something special, putting some thought into it and finding something that really means alot to both of you.

For my partners 38th birthday, I bought him a gift that cost me $25. When I gave it to him he was in tears, (sounds like he's a soft co*k right??) I went online and spent a few weeks putting together a printed photo book for him, they amazing, professional printed photo books. There was photos from the time we met up till the date that I put the book together (i'm big with taking photos) beside each photo was a caption with the date the photo was taken, where it was taken and what the photo symbolised to me. There ended up being roughly 100 photos in the book and on the back cover was one last photo and the rest of the page was basically a story of what he means to me and how he has made my life perfect. No one had ever taken the time to really put thought into a gift for him and he appreciated it so much more than any gift which could have costed $10,000 (although I'm sure in saying that he wouldnt be upset if I bought him home a motorbike!!!)

I understand that not everyone takes as many photos as I do but it's just an example of how something that really costs nothing can change somebody's life and mean more than any gift costing thousands.

Good luck

[s3r10u5am]

Well do something out of the blue. She doesn't care about money. She doesn't need something fancy or expensive. So go with the following: a romantic trip somewhere.
Though something I've always been a fan of and I'm sure girls like it too. Numbers. Large numbers of items. This dates back to my 20th birthday when my gf decided to buy me 20 gifts. Some where a little more pricy and some were just ordinary things I might use. Examples include: a videogame I wanted and socks. The videogame being something I desired and the socks being something I'll definitely end up using and cheap and in some way desirable. Analyze her interests.

So pick a number that might mean something to the two of you. If the amount of days you've been together is too big then maybe pick the months or just do it like an advent calendar. I hated those as a kid. You're supposed to get one chocolate a day till christmas. My brother being impatient would eat all of his on the first day and then threaten to eat mine. Well to get back to my point. Get about 31 presents. And each day till Christmas she gets a present. Start off with little things like plain and simple. Maybe underwear or something and towards Christmas go to the better presents and finally pick something a little better to be her final present.

It doesn't have to be fancy things. I'd go to a market or a second hand shop or a antique shop or a pawn shop and find rare things or handmade things or little things like a brooch or something that's in it's own way worth something even if it didn't cost much, it's symbolic in some way just because it's not branded and yet it's not some cheap chinese item you can buy by the dozen.

Consider things she really appreciates from certain items, like books, if she's into Charlotte Bronte, lets say Jane Eyre, find an original first edition or special edition or something. If she likes a particular movie, check eBay if they have something from the set, or a special collectors item or idk. My mom is a huge fan of Robert Redford and one day by chance I found on eBay a promotional item which was for the movie 'The Horse Whisperer' and it was sent to press so they can review the movie and write about it. It had a CD of the movie, which wasn't out yet and it was like a book with images from the set and talking about the movie. It was a very interesting item and didn't cost much really. And she really enjoyed it.

Also, if you feel like making it more adventurous, I'd say either hide the items around the house and make her search for them by giving clues or have her answer questions or just plain search for them or each day place an item somewhere she'll have to come across it (eg, one day by the bed, the next day in the bathroom, the next on her plate...) so she keeps coming across them throughout the day.

I hope you like this suggestion, I think it's super cute haha!