GF wants to take a "BREAK" to see if she misses me. What should I do?

[justadream87]

My gf and I have been together for about 2 months now. She was in a serious relationship about 3-4 months prior for ~3yrs. Her and her ex would always fight, argue and he would treat her like crap. He moved 2000miles away for work which is when they broke up. I really didn't want to be her rebound but after dating I got really into her. She's also one of my sister's good friends which she still feels awkward about at times.

In the beginning we were really into each other. We would talk and msg each other everyday and saw each other every other day. We started to get real intimate after two weeks and then she would start to sleepover as well on some weekends. We were inseparable. We were planning to take it slow because she was still getting over her past relationship. We both felt that we were moving too fast and rushed things. When we got to talking after a month she says she's not 100% over her ex and that she missed him. I think that her heart is still with him even though she said she loves me. Her ex doesn't want her back or anything to do with her. She’s real stubborn but I really care about her and want to be with her but I don’t think she feels the same. She has to second guess everything she does with me. I treat her right and she loves it.

Recently she started to have doubts and says she's losing interest in me that I‘m not working for her love as much anymore and how generic we‘ve become. She says she's the independent type and that I do too much for her. She didn't really have much time to herself after her last relationship ended. She's not getting the grades she's aiming for because of me (she's in college) and feels like she’s suffocating a little. I’m pretty sure she wanted to break-up but was afraid of her friendship with my sister. She wanted to take a “break“...time for herself, her studies and alone time. Just until finals are over which is a month away and see if she misses me at all. Its been 2 days since our “break” and I miss and think about her constantly. I’m stuck…what should I do?

Any helpful advice is greatly appreciated in advance.

[misombra]

all you can do is give her her space. sounds like she was attached for so long and wants some independence and to be unattached for a while.

can you be friends with her? worse thing you can do is try to pressure her to be more than friends.

[RockNRoll]

Maybe she does want to be on her own for a change. I would have thought that slowing it down, meeting and speaking a bit less often would help - try to suggest that. Why does she need to torture herself with missing you? She can take time to sort her feeling out, and do more stuff like studying, seeing friends and so on, but it might be a positive things to see you once in a while.
I personally wouldn't want to take a break from someone I like so much.

[VincenzoG91]

Let me translate this for you: your girlfriend met somebody else and wants to give him (or her) a try without technically cheating on you. At least that's what "taking a break" traditionally means.

[justadream87]

Thanks for the feedback.

all you can do is give her her space. sounds like she was attached for so long and wants some independence and to be unattached for a while.

can you be friends with her? worse thing you can do is try to pressure her to be more than friends.

Right now I'm giving her the space she needs. We planned to still talk and see each other during this "break" but not as often. I try only to talk to her when she calls or msgs first. Since I don't want her to feel like I'm smothering her. I don't mind being friends with her since we get along so well. I'll have to see how this plays out.

Maybe she does want to be on her own for a change. I would have thought that slowing it down, meeting and speaking a bit less often would help - try to suggest that. Why does she need to torture herself with missing you? She can take time to sort her feeling out, and do more stuff like studying, seeing friends and so on, but it might be a positive things to see you once in a while.
I personally wouldn't want to take a break from someone I like so much.

Before the break we both agreed to slow things down and to gain perspective on how to make things work. I asked her if she wanted to break off completely. She said no and that she just needs time to herself and school. That's why we agreed on this "break" and to see if we would miss each other.

[LailaK]

She wants to break up with you she's just not woman enough to do it properly. When I was very, very young and heartless I broke up with my 1st boyfriend this way.

"Baby I just need a 2 month break just to... figure things out. After 2 months we can get back together and reevaluate this relationship."

He was kind of a d*ck but I was super attached to him and I just didn't know how to break it off. 2 months was the perfect amount of time to let all of the emotions that I felt for him die and afterwards I was able to tell him to f*ck off.

It is an immature and stupid way to treat someone. I eventually grew up and grew out of it. Your girlfriend will too, but I'm sorry you have to deal with this bs right now.

Break = a slower and more painful break up.

[Boisdevie]

If you care for somebody you don't want to 'take a break' - sounds like she's cooling off and doesn't have the guts to say so

[Saya]

If she loves you so much then she wouldn't take a break from the relationship when you two have only been together for short time...
But then everyone is different and has different views etc....
If she want to concentrate on her study then let her be and give her some time of herself... if she like/love you then she will want to be with you again.
But usually a break isn't a good thing to have during a relationship.

[justadream87]

Just an update. We talked and sorted everthing out. We both decided to be good friends which we're both ok with.

[IncognitoSir]

Just an update. We talked and sorted everthing out. We both decided to be good friends which we're both ok with.

You're fooling yourself bro, how could you be "ok" with it when you just told us how much you cared about her?

[misombra]

if you care enough for somebody you would let them go and do themselves.