back with her ex only 3 weeks after we broke up

[>brando.]

so i found out today that my ex of whom i loved soo much not only broke up with me a month ago but got back with her ex a week ago, its soo comfusing because we loved eachother a lot, even 2 days before we split we made love and she said i love you so much, . there are reasons for her breaking up with me, we fought often and she was not happy and i understood, but its soo hurtful that she is with her ex , espically soo soon, i dont understant at all, at this point i dont even know how to regain my self esteem again, i was doing good until i found this out, i deleted her from facebook right away and have no intention of calling her again, but i dont want it to be that way either. i did the whole how could you do that so soon blah blah which was dumb but anyone would react badly to that . she is still in my heart , should i forget about her for good , i already sent a sappy email apalogizing for my reaction . im soo up and down right now, one minute i feel okay and that maybe this is a good thing and the next i feel hate and anger . shes with him right now and not long ago it was me she was with. not only do i feel lonely because she is not around anymore but i feel betrayed even tho we have been apart for a month, does she understand why i feel so hurt by this ? to not only break up with me but to get bak with her ex 3 weeks later, How can i get over this and feel better about myself?

[LailaK]

Stop contacting her!

[xxazurexx]

There's not much else that anyone can say that will make you feel any better.

All people can advise in a situation like yours and where the other person has moved on to someone else, is to just give them space and quit calling, texting, etc, etc and try to occupy your mind doing other things. Nobody knows why she left, or if and when she will be back - only time has the answer to that one.

A lot have been in your situation and know how you feel. It hurts and it sucks!! But it is what it is and leaves you no choice but to try and move on. You won't move on overnight.....it takes time.

Meanwhile like you were advised, stop calling, etc. In giving her space, she may start to miss you and come to the realisation she made a mistake. She isn't being given an opportunity to miss you and if you still continue to call or harrass her - plus your calling and harrassing will only be serving to push her closer to her ex.
Do things to fill in your time. Visit and go out with friends, take up a hobby, enrol for the gym - anything that will keep you and your mind occupied.

[Boisdevie]

Try:
Booze
Drugs
Masturbation

But don't contact her. Move on because you have no choice

[>brando.]

she said after we split she and him just started hanging out and it happened is all, i said i wanted her to understand y i felt this way about her getting back with her ex after only 3 weeks of us breaking up and she was mad an said she owes me no explination. things were good before i found this out and my reaction was bad, calling and texting saying things i wouldnt normally say if i was rational , now i feel like she is mad at me or even hates me . i didnt contact her for a long time and when we spoke before it was very nice but finding this out made things different and she says i shouldnt care and its none of my business because we were broken up which is true but she didnt understand why i feel the way i do about the whole thing. i know i need to let go but i loved her so much and she loved me too thats why its hard to understand why she moved on so quickly

[xxazurexx]

She sounds like an insensitive, selfish bitch and she should expect that you would be upset at hearing this news.

And the harsh truth in your situation is, is that if she had loved you half as much as you seem to think she did....she'd be with you, not this other guy.

[MerryH]

I don't know if you're just trying to make him feel better, but I don't see anything she did that would make her an insensitive, selfish bitch. She's dating someone else now, what's wrong with that? What she does now is really none of his business and he has no right to "react badly" and to call her and say "things he wouldn't normally say if he was rational." OP, leave her the **** alone already.

[>brando.]

it was only one day and for a few hrs that i reacted badly, i know it was none of my business with her moving on and getting back with her ex but after not long before that she was saying i love you to me so i think she should understand my reaction and not hold it against me, i have not called or texted her since, i am reading a great book on getting past a breakand also improving myself a lot, i wish there was a way to talk to her but inreality there is no point, even if she contacts me i am supposed to just hang up, there is no way to get past a breakup if there is any contact at all, even for her, thats why she still had feelings for her ex and saw it as an opportunity to get hi back when she broke up with me beause she never truly ended the contact with him when she was with me, even tho it was innocent and i never got mad or didnt trust her the point is that because he was en ex and they still had contact something was thill there even tho she loved me, our love ended and there he was .

[damn2010]

She lost her feelings for you LOOOONG before you broke up. Your fighting with her is evident of that.

Close contact with an ex is always a POTENTIAL red flag. Some people can manage to maintain friendships with their ex's and keep it at a healthy distance, others can't.

How old are you? I think you should take the time to look INTERNALLY and see what you can change about yourself to make yourself happy again and better prepared for a new relationship.

Don't be afraid to address potential red flags either.

[girl68]

you don't have to understand it. it no longer matters for you. Sorry you're hurting so bad but time heals all. So give time a fair chance... stay busy, and by busy I do not mean opening up your photo albums, stalking her on FB, and phoning all your friends to cry. I mean busy- get to work, go out with friends drink attempt to have fun- you might actually have fun!

[sarahprincess]

Yeah, if she cared more about it, she would understand that you are hurting and you cant just say *snap* everything you do is fine. It takes awhile. Plus, it would be one thing if it was some other guy..but an ex? I dont think I would deal with it well either, its not weird for you to have these feelings. Though I dont know if you should be telling her about these feelings anymore though, it sounds like she doesnt care to understand.
You arent alone, a lot of people have this happen to them. Take comfort in that.