gentleman?

[ashaya]

acting like a gentleman - is it appreciated and attractive, or does it just scream "i'm a pushover, don't date me anymore, put me in the friend zone" ?

[febling]

I'm a guy but-

I think if it isn't natural, like anything else in dating, it's just creepy. Don't constantly smile. Don't hold open EVERY SINGLE DOOR you walk through. Don't act all wooden. Don't act like some guy taking a girl out to the middle school dance in the 1950s.

Just be polite and don't overdo the whole chivalry thing. I think nowadays women find that as a turn off because it screams "I DON"T SEE US AS EQUAL PEOPLE"

And as far as friend zoning- honestly, just don't act like a friend. If you just met the girl, don't talk about emotions or problems. Don't keep your distance or relate too much. Make it obvious you have romantic intentions without being creepy.

[Take2]

Yeah, depends on how it is handled. I went out with a guy who held all the doors for me and acted like a gentleman...AND got all clingy and possessive on date 1 and acted like we were going to spend our lives together from the start. That was creepy and wrong, and his gentleman behavior didn't enter the equation. When I declined a second date, of course he decided it was because he was "too nice." But really, he was too needy, which is NOT the same thing.

My bf now is always a gentleman. He opens the car door for me, he holds restaurant doors for me, he does all those little things. He doesn't go over the top, sometimes it is logistically impossible to hold all 3 doors going into a restaurant, and he doesn't contort himself or fight for the right or anything. And he is confident and sane, so in him that gentleman behavior is a nice touch and makes me feel good. I do appreciate it.

[vashti]

I appreciate good manners, and I ALWAYS notice them.

[RockNRoll]

I find it attractive and do appreciate it. Definitaly!

[the_robot]

What is "acting like a gentleman" exactly?

[OkieDokie]

I sure hope being a guy holding doors isn't seen as creepy. I hold the door for EVERYONE. I mean I don't go out of my way to open doors but if I'm walking through it and someone is a reasonable distance away I'll hold it for them.

[vashti]

Good manners include things that are just generally being considerate of others, and is not limited to JUST the girl you are dating... they range from holding the door open for other people, being polite, letting old people or pregnant women take your seat on a crowded bus, not eating like a pig, not farting or burping in front of people, etc...

These behaviors are not limited to men, only, and I judge the quality of a person based on how considerate they are of other people, especially those that have nothing to offer you.

[the_robot]

Good manners include things that are just generally being considerate of others, and is not limited to JUST the girl you are dating... they range from holding the door open for other people, being polite, letting old people or pregnant women take your seat on a crowded bus, not eating like a pig, not farting or burping in front of people, etc...

These behaviors are not limited to men, only, and I judge the quality of a person based on how considerate they are of other people, especially those that have nothing to offer you.

That's simply having decent manners, I'm wndering what "acting like a gentleman" is about...

[vashti]

That's simply having decent manners, I'm wndering what "acting like a gentleman" is about...

I think they are pretty much one in the same.

[the_robot]

I think they are pretty much one in the same.

Peh, then 99% of the people are "gentlemen"... therefor this thread is absurd.

[xxazurexx]

Being a gentleman doesn't mean a guy has to be a pushover.

I've know guys with manners....but they were far from pushovers.

I myself have manners and I'm for sure not a pushover.

[xxazurexx]

What is "acting like a gentleman" exactly?

Just being well mannered and polite is enough for me.

One of the first things I noticed about my ex, was that he was a really polite guy and when talking and dealing with others....from the shop assistant to a customer he is talking with via the telephone. It's one of the things I loved about him.

He wasn't the type to open doors, nor was he the type to lay his coat on the floor and so I wouldn't get my feet dirty...but then I don't expect that kind of treatment, lol
I don't expect to be treated like royalty - treating me as an 'equal' is enough.

[the_robot]

He wasn't the type to open doors, nor was he the type to lay his coat on the floor and so I wouldn't get my feet dirty...but then I don't expect that kind of treatment, lol
I don't expect to be treated like royalty - treating me as an 'equal' is enough.

I find hard to believe any female nowadays would want a guy to lay his coat on the floor, except maybe teenagers... And I doubt any guy would do it lol, it just sounds too silly.

[girl68]

I don't expect the coat on the floor- don't know who realistically does...

I do expect doors being held open, I enjoy men opening car doors- that is rare. I want him to wait until I'm inside my door, while he waits in his car, helping me take my jacket off/ on is nice.

And yes, I appriciate good manners from men and women alike. And I'll only "friendzone" a guy with gentleman tendencies if I'm not attracted to him- not because of his manners.