gentleman?

[Take2]

Yeah, we are fortunate to live in a time where women's fashions don't incapacitate us and our environment is a lot less filthy than Victorian England. So the coat across the puddle thing would just be odd, unless it was done as a joke.

However, my bf opens car doors and walks me to my door and helps me with my jacket. He also shows up on time, calls when he says he will, asks for my input on where to go and what to do together, uses good manners in general and treats me and others with respect. None of that makes him a pushover, and he isn't. I'd say anyone who disqualified a great guy based on those behaviors deserves whatever jerky behavior she gets from the bad boys she is looking for.

[xxazurexx]

I find hard to believe any female nowadays would want a guy to lay his coat on the floor, except maybe teenagers... And I doubt any guy would do it lol, it just sounds too silly.

I seriously don't think they would either. I was giving an example of how he was a gentleman, but he didn't go overboard.

Actually Walter Raleigh lay his cloak over a puddle of water and for Queen Elizabeth to step on so she wouldn't get her feet wet, lol

Long time ago though and when men were 'real' men.

[febling]

I sure hope being a guy holding doors isn't seen as creepy. I hold the door for EVERYONE. I mean I don't go out of my way to open doors but if I'm walking through it and someone is a reasonable distance away I'll hold it for them.

Yeah I hold the door open for anyone who's behind me as well, strangers, kids, guys whatever. I meant don't go dashing in front of a girl just to hold open the door. Don't force it. If she happens to be in front of you going out or into some place, there's no need to literally jump in front of her to open the door or lay your coat down in some mud. It comes off as unnatural, I'd think.

[the_robot]

Long time ago though and when men were 'real' men.

Hey, it's the women's fault men have been turned into pussies...

[febling]

However, my bf opens car doors and walks me to my door and helps me with my jacket.

`

See now, I know girls who would hate this if I did it constantly- constantly opening the doors or putting on their jacket. They'd feel suffocated and weird, but it may just be my personality is similar to the people I hang out with. I know girls who would find it nice once in a while, but a turn-off (and insluting) if constant.

And while we're at it, what exactly is so alluring about a guy opening a car door for you? I feel like that'd be so creepy to do. Like I'm her chauffeur. I mean, you guys aren't strong enough to open a car door or something? It's just so strange to me. I can even understand closing it for the woman- but it's SO EASY TO OPEN THE CAR DOOR. To me, if you can't deal with pulling on door handles and getting your self in a car, you're too ****ing high maintenance for me.

[girl68]

Did I say every single time? No. I also think it would be a bit overkill.

[girl68]

And while we're at it, what exactly is so alluring about a guy opening a car door for you? I feel like that'd be so creepy to do. Like I'm her chauffeur. I mean, you guys aren't strong enough to open a car door or something? It's just so strange to me. I can even understand closing it for the woman- but it's SO EASY TO OPEN THE CAR DOOR. To me, if you can't deal with pulling on door handles and getting your self in a car, you're too ****ing high maintenance for me.

Well you ARE driving are you not? Are you really so dumb as to think we like it 'casue we aren't STRONG enough. That's the funniest queston I've heard on this topic. Do you really think I'd die if you didn't give me your jacket 'cause it's cold? No, and no. It's NICE, that's why.

A guy who does this would blow you out of the water any day...

[Take2]

Yes, I have been able to open my own car door since I was 3 or 4. That's really not the point. Little gestures like that are an easy way for a guy (traditonally less open to talking about emotions) to SHOW tenderness and caring. It makes him feel good to do it, it makes me feel good to let him do it. Besides, when my bf opens the passenger door of his car for me, it is one more chance for a kiss before we head off to wherever we are going. What could possibly be wrong with that?

[febling]

I'm so glad your imaginary man would blow me out of the water.

OK, so I'd be driving the car- which means what exactly? I park the car, get out....and you do too. With your own hands. When we get back in, I walk over to the driver's side, you go the passenger side, we both get in using our own hands like normal humans.

What's the big deal? And what if the woman was driving? Or is that too wimpy that a guy wouldn't drive but the woman would? Would the guy still open the doors? Would you ever date a man that you picked up in your car? It just sounds silly and outdated. I'm not a big fan of tradition.

The coat thing is different. I'm willing to sacrifice my coat to keep you warm. I think that's a turn on. But it's serving a purpose. I'm willing to be uncomfortable to make you comfortable. Opening a car door is quick and requires no loss of comfort. Really. Unless you have one of those big SUVs with really high up doors.

And the strength thing was just a joke. Personally, for me, things like that are overkill. If some woman actually got insulted if I didn't open the car door I'd end the date right there. It's silly.

[xxazurexx]

Hey, it's the women's fault men have been turned into pussies...

I'd agree.

[Take2]

There is a difference between being insulted and upset if a guy doesn't open my door and being carmed if he does. The vast majority of guys I have dated have not opened my car door for me. I was not insulted or inconvenienced or harmed in any way. But a guy who goes that extra step impresses me. Similarly, I won't refuse to go on a date with someone who is 3 minutes late picking me up. But if he's always on time, I am impressed. Neither thing is a deal-breaker, neither is a primary deciding factor in whether I would date a guy, but those little extras do add up.

[ashaya]

ok just to clarify - by acting like a gentleman i meant putting the girl first, as in opening doors, buying drinks etc. i guess it also means not pushing for sex too quickly. i only ask because i was turned down because i "didn't move things foward fast enough"....and this was after two dates.

[ashaya]

...so i'm not suggesting to act like an asshole, but maybe the whole gentleman thing is a bit outdated

[xxazurexx]

I'm so glad your imaginary man would blow me out of the water.

OK, so I'd be driving the car- which means what exactly? I park the car, get out....and you do too. With your own hands. When we get back in, I walk over to the driver's side, you go the passenger side, we both get in using our own hands like normal humans.

What's the big deal? And what if the woman was driving? Or is that too wimpy that a guy wouldn't drive but the woman would? Would the guy still open the doors? Would you ever date a man that you picked up in your car? It just sounds silly and outdated. I'm not a big fan of tradition.

The coat thing is different. I'm willing to sacrifice my coat to keep you warm. I think that's a turn on. But it's serving a purpose. I'm willing to be uncomfortable to make you comfortable. Opening a car door is quick and requires no loss of comfort. Really. Unless you have one of those big SUVs with really high up doors.

And the strength thing was just a joke. Personally, for me, things like that are overkill. If some woman actually got insulted if I didn't open the car door I'd end the date right there. It's silly.

At the risk of getting blasted by the ladies....why the heck would I want a man to open a door for me, or put my coat on for me and when I can do it myself?

Why don't I just let him wipe my arse for me and when I get off the toilet also??

That's just the way I feel about it all though, but everyones different and people want and expect different things and I'm not slamming anyone who expects those things...each to their own.

[xxazurexx]

...so i'm not suggesting to act like an asshole, but maybe the whole gentleman thing is a bit outdated

Yeah....we did all that in 18th century England.