gentleman?

[girl68]

I'm so glad your imaginary man would blow me out of the water.

Yes, my "imaginary" door opening finace. Thanks, found him.

[febling]

At the risk of getting blasted by the ladies....why the heck would I want a man to open a door for me, or put my coat on for me and when I can do it myself?

Why don't I just let him wipe my arse for me and when I get off the toilet also??

That's just the way I feel about it all though, but everyones different and people want and expect different things and I'm not slamming anyone who expects those things...each to their own.

Well this is what I mean. Some girls find it weird. I find it weird. So I guess I'm just incompatible with the girls who find it really nice.

BUT I don't think it's bad if you like it...like Take2 said, it's not a dealbreaker. I'm just saying I wouldn't want to date someone who DID expect it and WAS a dealbreaker for them.

I'm not terribly big on traditions. But if a girl is cold I'll offer my coat. I'll pay for food. It's a nice gesture.

But on the flip side I've had girls absolutely insist on paying for food because I've paid for it "too many times" in the past. So I think it's sweet to have it reciprocated once in a while (ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M BROKE)

[xxazurexx]

Well this is what I mean. Some girls find it weird. I find it weird. So I guess I'm just incompatible with the girls who find it really nice.

BUT I don't think it's bad if you like it...like Take2 said, it's not a dealbreaker. I'm just saying I wouldn't want to date someone who DID expect it and WAS a dealbreaker for them.

I'm not terribly big on traditions. But if a girl is cold I'll offer my coat. I'll pay for food. It's a nice gesture.

But on the flip side I've had girls absolutely insist on paying for food because I've paid for it "too many times" in the past. So I think it's sweet to have it reciprocated once in a while (ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M BROKE)

Yeah, I'd probably expect him to offer his coat and if it was freezing, but as for other stuff, it doesn't bother me.
Just because he doesn't do that kinda thing, I don't think means he thinks any the less of a woman.

I reckon manners such as that, are more associated with the 'aristocracy' and royalty, who all kiss each other on meeting and eat soup in a certain way and with a certain spoon ...you get the drift.

And I'm the same. I won't and don't like the guy to pay for everything and I don't expect him to either. I'm a giver and I'd be happy to pay for everything....just the way I am.

[vashti]

Has it been mentioned that gentlemen don't spit? Nor do they swear profusely. Nor do they rubberneck at the sight of a woman.

[lovesjoyajm]

I agree that gentlemanly and well-mannered are synonymous.

Just another thought - chivalry can be conveyed in different ways. A guy can fawn all over you and make a show of opening doors and being a "gentleman", or it can just accompany his overall good manners. I've gone out with guys (whether it be on dates or just with guy friends) where the guy offered to help with my jacket without putting on a show of it; I specifically remember dates where the guy opened the door and guided me through first, without thinking about it. As long as you're not offended by that (I certainly am not), it's appreciated and not at all emasculating to the guy. It's the guys who make a show of it who end up looking pathetic.

[febling]

It's the guys who make a show of it who end up looking pathetic.

That's basically who I meant to attack in my first reply.

[the_robot]

Has it been mentioned that gentlemen don't spit? Nor do they swear profusely. Nor do they rubberneck at the sight of a woman.

LOL. When their own girlfriend is not around, I don't know a single guy who doesn't stare at women around...

[the_robot]

Oh oh! What about guys who kiss the girls' hand when they first meet them?

[girl68]

Not all men are eye raping women with or without their SO's around.

[the_robot]

Not all men are eye raping women with or without their SO's around.

The ones I know are.. and not doing it seems to be a good reason to pick on me.

[girl68]

The ones I know are.. and not doing it seems to be a good reason to pick on me.

I guess I have at least a few more quality man friends who don't.

[febling]

Are you saying committed guys don't check out other girls who are hot? Come on, even women in committed relationships tend to do this. There's nothing wrong with LOOKING as long as you aren't APPROACHING. Doing it ALL THE TIME is a bad sign though, if that's what you meant.

[girl68]

I don't know a single guy who doesn't stare at women around...

You said STARE. There's a difference between "rubbernecking" and "staring" vs. checking out women (this can be done tatesfully and discretely).

[cohen_girl]

I like it when a guy acts like a gentleman. It's the little things that show a lot, like paying for dinner (if he's got the money), offering to get me a drink when i come over to his place, generally having manners and not farting in front of me or making jokes about gross topics, offering me his coat when i'm cold, things like that get massive brownie points. However, one place I don't expect him to be a "gentleman" is in the bedroom. I like it when he's a little agressive and initiates sex to show me how much he wants me. Not when we first start dating, because generally it's nicer to get to know someone before you have sex, haha. To avoid being put in the friend zone start a sexual conversation say on your likes or dislikes, but let her know that you will only have sex with her when she feels comfortable with it. This is how it was in the beginning with my last boyfriend, we would talk about sexual preferrences before we actually started having it and he made it clear that he wouldn't pressure me to have sex until I was ready. I would not do that with a guy I was going to put in the friend zone. I think talking about sex without pressuring her is the best way to stay out of the friend zone and still remain a gentleman in her eyes.