Why must some boys be so cute?

[Gratedwasabi]

When a guy uses the line "you have a pretty everything." He's only interested in sex. 100% of the time. You knew that was what he was after and you let a date fool you because he was charming (guess what? womanizers are always good first dates as long as you don't mind them trying to get in your pants at the end of the night. They've done it hundreds of times, practice makes perfect.)

Doesn't mean you should cut off all contact with guys or all dating. Just need to have a better sense for when a guy is being real with you and when he's trying to get in your pants. If his first or second sentence isn't introducing himself, move on. A genuine pickup is something like "Hi, I saw you from the corner and really wanted to talk to you. I'm Jeffrey." or a bit more aggressive but still probably genuine "Hi. I hope this isn't too forward but I think you're really beautiful. My name's Jeffrey."

If a bloke isn't introducing himself immediately he's probably trying to score. The first thing a guy wants to establish if he's genuinely interested is that you notice him and start to get to know him. The first thing a guy wants to establish if he's trying to get in your pants is how good/flattered he makes you feel.

And hey, it goes for guys too, ya know. Those of us genuinely interested in a relationship have horrible first dates. Imagine having to pay for a nice date or two only to have the woman decide your not even worth an excuse and ignoring you. And seeing all these women that get tricked by a pretty-boy face and buck-an-hour charm instead of guys who are, hell, a bit nervous but actually interested.

[Take2]

Laila, I think you need to take control of your own situation. You KNOW that you are not in a good place emotionally. You KNOW that the way you feel right now is very likely to attract the very worst sorts of relationships. You are giving off negative energy from the bitterness you feel and your hurt from past romantic situations. And you feel uncertain and lack romantic confidence. Your impulse to stop dating while feeling this way is a very, very good one and you should listen to it.

You will attract guys whiile you feel this way. Healthy guys will be looking for someone who is in a more healthy place, but guys (some of them really hot) who are not looking for healthy relationships, needy guys and users and such, will be drawn to your vulnerability. Do not swear off men forever or allow yourself to believe all men are the same or anything silly like that. Just focus on you for a while, do not leave room in your life for a relationship and stick to your guns. Work on feeling confident and happy with your life. Once you get to a point where your life is full and rich whether you find a man or not and once you are able to view each man as an individual who, in spite of his flaws, is not part of a universal plot to make you unhappy in love, THEN you can start dating again. And you will probably find that the pool of men you attract is vastly superior to your recent experience.

[LailaK]

Eh. That's probably good advice but I'm not holding out any hopes that being a confident happy person will help me attract a nice/normal guy. Mostly because I wouldn't classify myself as lacking confidence and happiness. I've definitely developed a bad attitude towards men who approach me in a romantic way which won't attract anything good. I'm at a loss on how to cut out the bad attitude though when it comes from apathy.

I wouldn't say I'm angry at men. It's more of this feeling of general annoyance that I can't seem to shake. I'm annoyed by these situations I get myself into. I lack the patience to deal with them properly and all together it just seems like more trouble than it's worth. When I'm around my family and my friends I feel at peace and calm. I love them, they love me. It's easy and lovely. I enjoy myself. When I'm dealing with some guy I'm counting the seconds before I can be alone in my apartment or with my friends doing something fun. I feel like at this point I'm dating just to date and be normal, which aren't the right reasons in my opinion.

Am I bitter? Maybe. Am I turning into a bitchy girl. Yes, probably. Do I care? Less and less everyday. That's what freaks me out. I used to love dating. I loved going out with men, how they made me feel, getting to know them. Now I dread the prospect of dating. I expect the worst and I just want men to leave me alone. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it a passing phase, or is it something that I should just get used to?

It's just not any fun any more and if it's not fun why do it :/

[LailaK]

You have to kiss lots of frogs before you meet your price - although in your case you won't kiss them in the first place.
You dislike or distrust men who are interested in you? So you'll like men who don't care about you?

My GF expressed interest in me.
I expressed interest in her.
And we are together whilst you are still single.

What are you saying? You're better than me because you're in a relationship and I'm single?

Thanks a lot.

My statement was a reflection on myself. I don't trust my taste in guys and I don't trust my ability to attract anyone who doesn't have some form of mental deficiency. I didn't say that I preferred men who don't care about me. Where did you get that from?

BTW, I kissed this guy on the first date. Mostly because he was so attractive. That was probably my first mistake. He probably thought we were in love