Our relationship is known to cease

[NewStacy]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time here and I want to ask all the men/women on this forum to hear me out. I am very confused and lost, not sure what to do about our situation, but here it is, let me try to explain.

We both have been together for more than a year, on/off, the last three months, our communication has been so much better. We talk about serious issues, our future, our careers, etc.

We were doing fine, we have some problems in the relationship where he's not doing much of the calling and planning for dates, so I took the initiative to do this instead. Both of us want to be with each other, both emotionally and physically. He has always been a gentleman, treating me with respect, caring for me, be there for me when I need him.

Unfortunately, he is not happy living in the US, he wants to pursue a new career, somewhere else, most likely in another country. He doesn't know what he wants, so he cannot commit to me at this time. He is uncertain about his future, his career, and his life in general.

We had a long conversation last night about this. Obviously, there is nothing that I can do but accept the fact that he wants to move, whether it's a year from now, two years from now, or six months from now, and watch him leave. Or, I can break the relationship now assuming that there will never be future for us and decide to move on.

He clearly told me last night that most likely this relationship will come to end after he moves...but again, he doesn't quite know what he wants still or what the future turns out to be. All he knows is that he wants to leave the US, right now, he's interviewing with Google and getting calls from various recruiters, they could be in different states, different countries, who knows, basically, his new career will determine his next move.

I asked him if he knew that it was going to end, why continue this? He said because he likes me a lot, respects me, wants to spend time with me, etc. It's hard to leave him because I really like him too but afraid of getting hurt. He said it's up to me to decide. I'm really confused

I have thoughts about spending the rest of my life with him, but if he does not consider me in his future then I am contemplating to move on, but it's really hard.

My question for all the guys:

• If a guy really wants to be with me, wouldn't he consider me in his future when he makes this move?
• Do guys usually change their minds for situations like this?
• Is this just a fantasy because he has a house, a stable and successful career here?
• His moving involves traveling around the globe, work less, take six months of vacations and enjoy life more. Is this even reality anymore???
• Should I stick around and wait for the relationship to grow stronger?

[devonbrown]

When a guy makes future plans and you're not in them, there's a problem with that relationship. Plus if this is an off/on relationship then you should just switch it to off and find someone to make an "on".

[girl68]

I agree. If you're no considered, it means he's not as serious about you as he is to you.

[hello1]

Yeah if he was in love with you, he would include you in his future plans. Time to gain some respect and move on. I know your in love with him but he is not in love with you.