The Proposal

[Kaius]

Okay... I'm gonna need women's input because I have no clue.

About a year ago I met this amazing woman. I joined LoveForum shortly afterwards to ask you all if her actions hinted her interest in me. Most of you said yes, but I was convinced she only liked me as a friend. One night I kissed her, and we were inseparable since then. We have had our ups and downs, but we are happy.

I just purchased a 2 carat (G, VS1, Excellent cut) diamond engagement ring. I am gonna propose to her next month. I feel like she is expecting it any day now, because we have dated for a year, and we have expressed our desire to grow old together.

Question: Ideally, when and where do women prefer to be proposed to? I was engaged to a college girlfriend once, and married to my kids' mother once, but I have never proposed to a woman ever. I was considering proposing on Christmas morning, but December 4th would be nice because that's when I kissed her for the 1st time. I also want to bring her to the Starbucks where we met. So many possibilities. Any suggestions?

[girl68]

What does she like? Some prefer grand public gestures! Mountain top in hot air ballons. Some like myself prefer a quiet night at home with no lead up a regular night where we're having fun just being us and BAM will you marry me.

When I told my proposal story I got a whole lot of: "that's it?" I'm like I'm engaged, I'm thrilled! I wouldn't have had it any other way! Grand public gestures just aren't for me. IMO- proposals are private and therefore should be in private.

So it really does depend... do it when you want to, if you "can't wait" it's pretty cute on the spur of the moment. My guy told me that he did it on that day because he couldn't wait anymore... that was the cutest thing ever!

[Take2]

If you do choose a grand gesture, make sure it feels like a gesture for her and not for you! My ex-husband flew me to Paris to ask me to marry him. And I was flattered by the grand gesture...but couldn't help but notice that we both knew I dreamed of a trip to Italy and he of a trip to Paris, and the whole event was really very much like a movie script he had written me into. I would be fine with a grand gesture or a small, intimate moment, but he should make sure that moment of all moments isn't selfish!

If you want a surprise moment at Starbucks, talk to the staff there and figure out what you can arrange, they would probably be happy to help.

(Also, wow, I have a G VVS1 Excellent cut 1 carat and it is worth a lot, your ring is quite an investment!)

[Kaius]

Thank you very much for the suggestions!! I had previously told her, when we 1st met (before we started dating), that I would give an arm and a leg to spend my life with a woman like her. Well, I guess I called it right, because the ring did cost an arm and a leg... but it's worth it. She is very shy...to the extent if I make a scene in public, she would have a panic attack. So I guess subtle intimate would be good. I need to pick a place where we can be quiet and private. Not in my dinky 1-bedroom apartment. Not in her house either. Hmmmm... I want to do this at Starbucks... but I also want to make it romantic and memorable.

[xxazurexx]

Nah, I wouldn't go in for the grand gesture thing either. A reason for proposing on a certain day is a nice thought though...like December 4th, the first day you kissed her. I'd be thrilled that he remembered something like that

[Kaius]

Nah, I wouldn't go in for the grand gesture thing either. A reason for proposing on a certain day is a nice thought though...like December 4th, the first day you kissed her. I'd be thrilled that he remembered something like that

She knows I remember it because all of my lock combos and passwords are 120409. Easy to remember for me Hmm... I guess it'll be the day.

[Take2]

Yeah, sounds like a quiet moment would be more her style. You could do it at Starbucks on Dec. 4, do you already know what you want to say?

[QueenofCorona]

I'm confused, so how did you and your kids mom decide to get married if you didn't propose? And the college gf? How do you get engaged but not propose?

I'm not big on holiday proposals. I like variety and randomness though. Be unique. A million couples get engaged on holidays, too run of the mill for me.

[girl68]

If she's shy she'd be much more comfortable in private. I'm pretty sure the size of your apartment has dick all to do with how she'd interpret your proposal. Do something nice at home, where it's warm and private and comfortable.

[Kaius]

I'm confused, so how did you and your kids mom decide to get married if you didn't propose? And the college gf? How do you get engaged but not propose?

Well, college GF proposed to me when she thought I was about to break up with her. I was 21, and didn't think too much. I said okay, but broke up with her 2 weeks later. As for my kids' mom, we drove to city hall one day, and decided to get married.

[Boisdevie]

Starbucks is not exactly romantic. Why not cook her a beautiful meal at your place and then propose?

[girl68]

Kaius- it's all in what you say. Not where or when (at least not to me!). And if she's anything like myself pretty conry and totally in love she'll feel the same.

[sarahprincess]

i first met my fiance at starbucks too. I'm not sure how I would feel though about getting proposed to there though. Is she usually into the romantic stuff, I'm not really sure how you'd go about making it romantic. Though, since it is around christmas time, do you think the starbucks has a christmas tree? You could get someone to hide it on a branch or something cool like that.

If she is really shy though, a place in public may be too much for her.. even starbucks. Maybe it could be done when no one else is around..maybe they would let u stay after closing time? Get the starbucks people to play a special song for you guys and turn out some of the lights? That could be romantic.