Why Can't Girls Ever Be Straight Forward?

[MadMardegan]

Topic.

Why do girls go hot and cold and play games?

Why can't they just be straight forward?

(Not talking about all girls as that would be ridiculous but just kind of annoyed. I'm not into bullshit. I'm always straight up with people)

[girl68]

Don't generalize tell us YOUR situation and we'll try to tell you why SHE was playing games.

[Tcab969]

Don't generalize tell us YOUR situation and we'll try to tell you why SHE was playing games.

Could not agree more. Btw MadMardegan there is a female on this site that is brutally straight forward. Although, sadly, i have forgotten her username.

[xxazurexx]

The same applies to guys, but I wouldn't generalise and say all guys are the same - some people are straight forward and honest, some are not.

I'm of the mind set that if you feel you are ever being toyed with, then you are most likely being toyed with and by a person who doesn't have that big of an interest....else they wouldn't be playing games.
If feelings are mutual, people don't tend to play games and because there isn't any reasons for games.

Forget her and move on.

[Take2]

Sometimes girls are not straightforward because being straightforward has gotten them burned. What happened, OP?

[MadMardegan]

It's a really long story and I've posted it here before, just have to find the thread.

Common sense (and everyone else) would say move on. And I pretty much have. We work together and things are good. I still like her but not like I did at first. She told me a few times she liked me and asked me out a few times too. Everytime we were meant to meet up she cancelled. Anyway

A few months ago we had arranged to go to the cinema when HP was coming out (yeah laugh all you want but I enjoy them, and so does she ). A lot of things happened in that time. She got back with her ex, we weren't talking. Now we're back talking (not like it was before but it's still ok).

So, I figured she had forgotten about this arrangement. Turns out she hadn't and she asks me a while ago are we still going. So I tell her in work last week I'd text her and we'll arrange plans. I text her. She replies saying she has no money etc. I was busy in work and couldn't reply for about an hour. I get another text saying "do you hate me again? ". Told her I was busy then said I'd pay for it and it wasn't a problem etc. She said she couldn't do that etc, that she'd text me back the following day letting me know if she got finances sorted. We were supposed to go on sunday, and if not sunday then today. I thought maybe this time she wouldn't mess around and I'd actually get a text on saturday but I didn't. Same thing again on Sunday and today, didn't hear from her at all.

She really messed me around over the last few months, and she's admitted it. Going to the cinema wasn't a date or anything, just hanging out.

I figured because of all the stuff in the past and because I made first contact the other day and she just stopped replying all of a sudden that it should be up to her to meet me halfway on this.

She was really excited about going which is why I thought she'd be serious this time.

Basically, my point of this thread is, why do girls sometimes walk by you like you're not there and other times go out of their way to say something to you?

[Take2]

Inconsiderate and immature, sadly all too common among men and women.

But really, I don't think this girl is TRYING to give yooou the run-around. She doesn't know what she wants, so she can't be clear with you. I dated a guy like that right after my ex-husband and I split. This guy was awesome...but completely undependable and kept running hot and cold on me. I am so glad I finally put a stop to it. I told him I will be his friend, but I have too much self-respect to keep doing the yoyo thing. He may be ready to be a great guy for someone in a year or two, but it won't be me.

In the end, you cannot control anyone but yourself. You CAN have requirements for how people will treat you if they want to be close to you and find people who can live up to that. Your life will be much happier for it, I think.

[MadMardegan]

Thanks for the reply!

She knew what she was doing, and did it multiple times. I don't know why I didn't put a stop to it sooner but I didn't to be honest.

Hindsight is always 20-20 though right?

The thing is, I still find myself wanting to be friends with this girl and wanting to get to know her. I definitely don't want a relationship now (there's been other things that have arisen and things she's told me).
Like I said, I have to work with her nearly everday. I don't want an awkward enviornment there.

I plan on asking her tomorrow night what happened over the weekend, why no text etc.

Just looking for some insight from a females perspective on why someone might act like that. I'm not that kind of person at all. I never ignore someone and if I'm not going to do something with them for whatever reason I at least send them a text so they know what the story is.

It's not nice when you don't know where you stand with someone.

[Take2]

Absolutely, it is cowardly to just disappear like that. But it is easier, and some girls will take the easy way out. Plus, she keeps her options open to come back to you later if she decides you ARE what she wants. Some guys and girls are guilty of this, though it isn't fair at all.

[MadMardegan]

It's a very complicated situation she's in at the moment, though I'm not gonna post that for the public to see.

Thanks for the advice anyway.

Do you mind me asking if you're still friends with that guy you mentioned?

[MadMardegan]

Bumping this for more advice please

[girl68]

This is a super easy one. Basically she's an attention whore. When she has yours she pushes you away she she doesn't she pulls you in repeat as many times as you like. Since you've given in every single time this is a pretty easy game to play you for.

Why don't YOU act like she doesn't exsist. Of course when she's vying for your attention just claim to be busy... and BE BUSY.

[MadMardegan]

This is a super easy one. Basically she's an attention whore. When she has yours she pushes you away she she doesn't she pulls you in repeat as many times as you like. Since you've given in every single time this is a pretty easy game to play you for.

Why don't YOU act like she doesn't exsist. Of course when she's vying for your attention just claim to be busy... and BE BUSY.

I think you're right.

Just don't really now how to handle the situation tonight when I see her.

Any advice on that?

[girl68]

under what conditions?

[MadMardegan]

under what conditions?

What do you mean?

I don't want to come off as an asshole. Like I said, I work with this girl nearly everyday.

If I didn't have to see her everyday this whole thing wouldn't be a problem, I'd have told her when to go a long time ago.